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User:Vghfr/Essays/Wikipedia is not a barbeque

This page contains material which is considered humorous. It may also contain advice.
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Contrary to popular belief, Wikipedia is not a family gathering. Wikipedia is an encyclopedia, not a place to put a "shrimp on the barbie" (which your 50 year old father says in an attempt to sound cool).

Things you will find on Wikipedia:

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  • A free online encyclopedia that anyone can edit
  • ad hoc peer review
  • The five pillars of Wikipedia policy
  • The correct phrase of "put a prawn on the barbie"

Things you will not find on Wikipedia:

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  • Uncle Joey's bacon burgers
  • Grandma's cookies that nobody quite knows how she makes them (you stuff them in your pockets anyways)
  • Your auntie's insane, profane ramblings about the 2020 election
  • A turkey fryer that almost killed your drunk dad and his friends
  • The other uncle that owns a smoker
  • Your lung cancer-riddled cousin who can't go 5 seconds without a vape
  • Too much Bud Light
  • The family friend that you're pretty sure nobody actually invited
  • The neurotic neighbour
  • Mom's potato salad that nobody likes but everyone eats anyways cause you don't have the heart to tell her that it sucks
  • The rabbi that someone invited who is constantly glaring at you while you enjoy your pork ribs
  • Low-quality country music blaring through your dad's 30 year old stereo (he swears its better than getting a new one)
  • The police officer who was called over for a domestic violence report but ended up sticking around for dinner
  • Homemade fireworks that blew off little Timmy's ring finger
  • Your other, other uncle that everyone is tired of because of how racist he is
  • Dark witchcraft known as "being able to open the pickle jar"
  • 17 squatted Toyota Tacomas in your front lawn
  • Grandpa sleeping in a rocking chair (he's been here for a couple days, don't worry about him)
  • That asshole cat that only likes your 14th removed cousin
  • That asshole dog that just stole your chili dog
  • A dish made by Satan himself (coleslaw)

See also

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