Wikipedia:List of jokes about Wikipedia
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This is a very incomplete list of jokes about Wikipedia.
One or two liners
[edit]- What do you call a website that every Wikipedia article cites? Webcites!
- How can you tell if a Wikimedia Commons contributor is from Australia? Every image they upload has a 180 degree rotation request.
- What should be added to that new pasta article? A good source.
- What is needed in hot dog bun? A link.
- Where do people from Kennebunkport go on Wikipedia? The Main page.
- What do you call a functionary who lives in Prague? A CzechUser.
- Nupedia was all about a Soviet/Russian animated series called "Well, Just You Wait!" ("Nu Pogodi!" in romanized Russian).
- What happened to the edit made to Stone Pushing Uphill Man? Rollback.
- Where did the IP sock geolocate to? The inside wall of a dryer.
- What do you do to a magician who can create socks from thin air when blocked from editing Wikipedia for vandalism? Block them for sockpuppetry!
- Why do bunnies never vandalise Wikipedia through IP's? If they did, they'd be IP hopping vandals!
- Why did the Wikipedian lose the election? They wouldn't go canvassing.
- Why did the arbcom suppress the mistaken edit? Because they made an oversight.
- Why did the CIA create a Wikipedia account? Because it was on their watchlist.
- Which page is about Wikipedia:Naming conventions? This one. It names lots.
- Why was the lumberjack excited to discover Wikipedia? Because of all of our logs.
- Who's in charge of how an article appears? Manuel of Style.
- What musical did all the noticeboard regulars go to? ANI.
- What did the editor get when he fell down the stairs? A wikibreak.
- Do you know the Wikipedian who doesn't use cash? He's a Checkuser.
- What will admins do when they see a new article promoting non-notable cake? Delete it.
- How do recent changes patrollers light their outdoor parties? With a STiki torch.
- Did you hear about the guy who got disqualified from the Monopoly tournament? He'd gotten Reading, Pennsylvania and B&O railroads and got blocked for 3RR.
- Why did the Wikipedians vs. Britannica Editors football match get cancelled? Because Britannica could only come up with three editors.
- Why did the Wikipedian football game turn into chaos? They ignored all rules.
- Which editor can handle a thousand SPIs in a single day? Clerk Kent.
- Which articles get most of the weasel and peacock edits? Weasel and peacock, obviously.
- What do these articles have in common with that 11-year-old boy? Pending changes, obviously.
- What did the coach say to the Wikipedians before the big football game? "This time, I want you all to take off your glasses. Yes, yes, that's good. No, no, don't put them in your pockets."
- Vandal goes into a bar. Barkeep says... "Why the sad face?" ... "I'm blocked." ... "One prune cocktail comin' up." ... "It's not that. Can I see your phone for a second?" ... "No, and you're an idiot with no life."
- How do sick Wikipedians get better? By contacting Doc James or Drmies through their talk page!
- How did the Wikipedian get the spam out of the can? Content forking.
- Did you hear about the editor who contributes from Mars? He's NOTHERE.
- As children, where did Wikipedians play? In the sandbox.
- An example of an article which violates policy but is not deleted: Attack page.
- "Hey, I just looked at your userpage. Are you a troll?" ... "No, no. Everyone on my mother's side looks like that. We're all very stocky."
- Did you hear about the Wikipedia article on the solfeggio note fa? It will always be rated FA-Class!
- You know you've been at the Teahouse for too long if your computer screen squirts tea at you whilst you're there.
- You know you're on a stub article if it makes you so stressed you stub your toe. (Ouch/groan!)
- WP:GOLDiLOCKsANDTHETHREEBEARS (a variation on WP:GOLDLOCK).
- Why should you never attempt to eat a Wikipedia article? Because you'd have to use a fork.
- Who is the best on Wikipedia at board games? Clue bot.
- Which part of Wikipedia does a tiger spend most of his time? The CATegories.
- What's Wikipedia's favorite fairy tale? Jack and the. Oops. I can't say more per WP:BEANS.
- What do you call a person who is a star performing in a barn? A barnstar!
- The Wikipedian who whacks fellow Wikipedians with trouts the most always has a lake full of them!
- How do Wikipedians hear each other speak? With the talk page!
- Did you hear about the 2 tennis players who struggled to beat each other in edit warring? The result was a WikiDeuce!
- The Wikipedian knew not to look at his broken watches. They weren't TIMERS.
- In Soviet Russia, Kremlin reads what you write on Wikipedia. In America, Kremlin writes what you read on Wikipedia.
- A Wikipedian was warned not to use Es anymore. The Wikipedian did and was thus banned. Classic case of NOTHERE.
- A Wikipedian gets awoken just after midnight by a large party of other editors. After trying to tough it out he calls the police. The police arrive and say "Sorry, it's 1AM.".
- How many Wikipedians does it take to change a lightbulb?
- A new LTA store opened up. People are lining up for blocks.
- What did the construction worker gift to his wife? A "CON"Tribute!
- What is a bad sysop's favorite game? Badminton.
- Are you Wikipedia? Because you're everything I've been searching for.
- How can you tell if a Wikipedian's been in the fridge? There's a notice on the door advising you it needs cleaning!
- How can you tell if an admin's been in your fridge? The notice gets bigger and you get an unexpected text message.
- How can you tell if an oversighter has been in the fridge? Things have gone missing!
- How can you tell if an interface administrator has been in your fridge? The shelves have been re-arranged.
- Cop: I'm arresting you for downloading all of Wikipedia. Man: Wait, I can explain everything!
- What does a CheckUser say when they catch a sockpuppet? "See you!"
- Why did the deleted article call the police? Because it was assaulted.
- Guicars, amiright?
- Why did the Wikipedian get blocked for adding a joke on Cereal? It was too Wheaty
- What is Princess Zelda's favorite Wikipedia page? Help:Link.
- What's a Wikipedian's least favorite fish? A koi.
- How do you change the title of an article about cows? You mooo-ve it.
- The police knocked on my door last night and charged me with illegally downloading Wikipedia. I said, "but officer, I can explain everything".
Arguments to avoid
[edit]- What is an argument to avoid? "Jimbo should shave his beard off."
- What is an argument to avoid? "You are like a Nazi."
- (Just simply Murder the opposing POV)
More than one liners
[edit]- An inclusionist and a deletionist walk into a bar. The deletionist rips out half of the taps and destroys all the bottles that aren't on the top shelf. The inclusionist says not to worry and offers a case of diet soda. They both ask the bartender for a donation.
- Wikipedia: You have two cows. After discussion, your neighbors reach consensus that your cows belong to them, dismissing your objections per 1AM. You call the police, who arrive and give the cows to whomever touched them last.
- A Wikipedian is unable to fall asleep due to all of his neighbors having a party. A little after midnight, he goes outside and tries to discuss ending the party. The neighbors refuse and eventually the Wikipedian decides to call the police. The police come and upon hearing the situation say there's nothing they can do. It's 1AM.
- A Wikipedian and a vandal are stranded on a deserted island. On the first day, the Wikipedian builds a raft, but that night, the vandal destroys it. The second day, the Wikipedian lets the vandal know that one or more of his contributions to the raft did not appear constructive, and rebuilds the raft. Again, the vandal destroys it. The third day, the Wikipedian asks the vandal to please refrain from making unconstructive changes to the raft, and rebuilds the raft. The vandal destroys it. The fourth day, the Wikipedian tells the vandal that if he destroys the raft again, he may not be allowed to participate in the building of the raft. The Wikipedian rebuilds the raft and the vandal destroys it once more. On the fifth day, an admin finally arrives with the navy, announces that nobody can build a raft until everyone on the island agrees about whether or not a raft should be built, and sails off.
- An admin, an IP, and a sockpuppet walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "what're you having?" The admin says, "I'll have a glass of your finest champagne." The IP says, "Give me your cheapest draft beer." The sockpuppet says, "Just water for me; I can't afford a third drink."