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Wikipedia:Alternatives to edit warring

This page contains material which is considered humorous. It may also contain advice.
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Ah yes, edit warring. A classic part of Wikipedia, no matter how lame edit wars may be sometimes. However, some guy named Jimbo England or something had to make it unallowed on Wikipedia. But fret not, my friend! There are other ways to take your frustration out on someone who reverted your PERFECT edit!

Vandalism

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Now, I know what you might be thinking. "Isn't that also not allowed?" Well, while it might be banned, you know what they say: Break our rules, please, so we can ban you Nothing on Wikipedia is set in stone. Also, nothing's illegal if you don't get caught! So go ahead, give that obscure article that nobody's talking about a sea of blue![1]

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Remember the guy who fixed your typo on your freshly-published article before you could? Well, go ahead and sue him! Legal threats are never not allowed! What's Jimothy Ireland going to do to you? If he tries anything, sue him too! Also, if you go through with this alternative, you might want to call a certain lawyer.

Accuse someone else of doing someone wrong

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Are YOU tired of people being better than you? Did someone else write an article that got featured, when the 500 articles you created to promote your garage band haven't even been read once? Well, why not assume bad faith and accuse them of being an absolute epic 100% free no virus W + ratio troll? Nothing's stopping you from doing so, and don't even let the Policy convince you otherwise!

If none of these properly work, try

Logging off of Wikipedia

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To log out of Wikipedia, press the "Log out" button in the top right, next to Contributions. Slim Jim France will be very sad because you, a valued customer, have left forever!!!!!

Thin Jim Canada is sad that you logged out
  1. ^ This looks like a checkerboard of orange and blue for those of us using "Display links to disambiguation pages in orange" in the Gadgets part of Preferences.