Talk:Izuna 2: The Unemployed Ninja Returns

GA Review

This review is transcluded from Talk:Izuna 2: The Unemployed Ninja Returns/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Hello, this is where I will be reviewing the article. Check back here for my extensive review.-- Gears of War 2 (NGG) 20:33, 22 April 2009 (UTC)

Extensive Review

Lead

• The standard lead for a video game article is the first paragraph representing the intro, the second introducing the plot, and the third talking about reception. I have already split the lead in 3, try to expand on the lead, it is very important. Try talking about more sales numbers and critical reception in the third paragraph and try to expand on the story in the lead.

Gameplay

• This section is very confusing the way it's written. I was very confused reading it.
• Theres no clear explanation for SP. Please be clearer. Monitor your NPOV in this section. I almost quick failed this article for it.

Plot

• Why do you only provide a limited overview of the game? Please provide the full plot with cites included.

Reception

• Mix the last three paragraphs together and add more reviews to the table.

Verdict

If this article was an editor, WP:SNOW would apply here. This article has barely been edited and has under 500 edits on it's history. I will look for a screenshot to add but right now you need to focus on adding more content to this article and edit it a lot. It is brand new and needs lots of work.-- Gears of War 2 (NGG) 21:12, 22 April 2009 (UTC)

GA Review

This review is transcluded from Talk:Izuna 2: The Unemployed Ninja Returns/GA2. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Hi, here is where I will be reviewing this article. I will post sections of the review as I write them to enable the page to be worked upon asap. Please, however do not add comments to this review until it is complete as indicated below as I may add to previously posted sections Cabe6403 ^{(Talk•Sign)} 19:06, 17 May 2009 (UTC)

Review Status: Complete Y

Pass/Fail: FAIL N

Lead

"was released in North America on July 22, 2008 and in Japan on November 29, 2007" - Why place the NA release date before the JP release date when that is not the order of release?

"Along the way, she angers a group of foreign gods, who attack her." - This sentence is worded awkwardly.

"Izuna 2 received mixed reviews, receiving aggregate scores of 65% and 63.56% from Metacritic and GameRankings respectively." - Suggest rewording this sentence to avoid repeating "receiving"

"Most critics praised the storyline and criticized the gameplay. Additionally, most critics believe that Izuna 2 will only appeal to roguelike or dungeon crawler fans." - Very minor issue, this would perhaps read better if rewrote as one sentence, at the moment the second part feels tacked on.

Gameplay

"has multiple floors that need to be cleared, and many of these" - Cleared of what?

"restore health excessively, a "SP bar" was added.[6] " - Source 6 has no mention of this SP bar. It does mention a "Stamina Bar" but, having never played the game, I don't know if this is the same thing or not. It also doesn't mention if this is a new thing. Try find another source that makes explicit reference to the addition of the SP bar. Also, define what this SP bar is, you link it to Magic point but source 7 says "SP is a combination of stamina and magic points" as opposed to just magic points as you have inferred.

"It constantly depletes per turn. A depleted SP bar will cause players to experience a decrease in physical damage." - Rewrite this. I assume that you mean a the attack power will be decreased but it's not clear. Also, this could be written better as once sentence.

"The game includes many RPG elements, including equippable items, stats, and experience points to level up." - Unsourced statement, should be an easy fix though

"In addition to the normal stats of equipment, they are also given a LUV stat to discourage players from switching equipment too often." - Not clear what a LUV stat is, an external source talking about it (in a review etc) would be helpful here.

"tems come in several types including pills, shuriken, kunai knives, bombs, caltrops, and restorative items that heal health or SP" - Rewrite this, reads awkwardly

"Talismans can stuck to equipment to add abilities" - CE

Plot

This section needs a good copy edit. Remove words like "luckily" and give the story from a neutral point of view - Take a read of featured articles like Halo 3 and see how the plot is impartial.

Surely you can get a better source for this section than source 11 which barely mentions the game nevermind the plot.

Development

"The reverse of the box is a mini-poster, also of Izuna.[20] In addition, any editions purchased through Amazon.com included a mini-poster.[21] Products purchased through GameStop included a mini-poster as well.[22] Each box purchased through either Amazon or GameStop will have two posters.[23] GameStop and Amazon each had an exclusive poster; the Amazon poster was chosen through a online poll. All other boxes contain one of two posters.[24] On the day of release, the posters for Amazon were lost, causing the boxes to be delayed.[25]" - This section is just confusing and needs a total rewrite.

Sources

You cite Joystiq 13 times in this article, see WP:VG/S - "A blog network; use of this site and its affiliates should be carefully considered" - Try replace as many of these with more reliable sources if you can.

Verdict

This article still needs plenty of work to be considered for GA status, as it stands I would say it is C class. Some points of advice from the previews reviewer where followed while others where not. There isn't much of a difference from between the initial review and my review with the second GA nom posted less than 2 weeks after the first was failed. Take your time, this is a new article and with a bit of work it can be considered for GA class. My advice is to follow the recommendation of GA reviewers as best you can then leave the article for a few weeks, come back and read it from the perspective of someone who knows nothing about this game or any similar. It might be wise to seek a peer review of this article before trying for GA again. Because of the amount of work that I see needing to be done I am failing this article. It is too far from GA class to be put on hold. If you have any queries about my review feel free to ask me on my talk page and I will get back to you on this page asap -- Cabe6403 ^{(Talk•Sign)} 20:32, 17 May 2009 (UTC)

GA Review

This review is transcluded from Talk:Izuna 2: The Unemployed Ninja Returns/GA3. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

I am going to be reviewing this article. I hope editors and nominators will understand that this is only my second primary GA review, so I will not be perfect. I wish to note that in my review, I will not be checking off criteria this article has met. Instead, I will only use this page to point out flaws that don't meet the criteria. Lack of mention for a specific criterion denotes that it has been met. I will also ignore the previously failed GA attempts and work from here. Let me know on my talk page if you have any comments or questions. GroundZ3R0 002 02:54, 5 January 2010 (UTC)

Reviewer: GroundZ3R0 002 02:52, 5 January 2010 (UTC)

GA Review #3

Infobox

• In the infobox, I would note on the box art caption that this is the North American cover as shown by the ESRB rating. Simply out the caption as: "The North American boxart of Izuna 2 featuring the eponymous main character".
• I would also add more, broader genres to give readers a better idea of what type of game this is. Consider adding turn-based third-person action or dungeon crawler, if these fit the game.
  • I would gladly add the first genre if it did not link to Third-person shooter. ɳOCTURNEɳOIR _{talk // contribs} 19:56, 5 January 2010 (UTC)
• The "input methods" seem a bit unconventional, I would put it more reader friendly, like gamepad. Not a must though, but recommended.
  • See Advance Wars: Dual Strike, Advance Wars: Days of Ruin, Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney. ɳOCTURNEɳOIR _{talk // contribs} 19:56, 5 January 2010 (UTC)

Images

• Both images are great, but the screen shot, File:IzunaGameplay.jpg, needs a much better free-use rationale for the article to achieve GA status.

Lead

• The lead is good, but again, I would add the additional genres to the first sentence of paragraph 1
• "... developed by Ninja Studio and published by Success and Atlus for the Nintendo DS handheld game console." I would alter the english to make the fact that both Success and Atlus published a version of the game. I would either add a "both" between "by" and "success" OR, I would say "... published by Success. The North American version was published by Atlus." Either works.
• To begin paragraph 3 I would put "Upon release, " as the very first words.

Gameplay

• It should be "an SP Bar", not "a SP Bar"
• Paragraph 1, "per turn and a depleted" should have a comma between "turn" and "and"
  • This comma is not necessary. ɳOCTURNEɳOIR _{talk // contribs} 19:56, 5 January 2010 (UTC)
• "many RPG elements, including equippable" should not have a comma and needs a colon after "including"
  • The sentence as is is grammatically correct. I have, however, replaced "including" with "such as" on the basis that two forms of "include" showed up in the sentence. ɳOCTURNEɳOIR _{talk // contribs} 19:56, 5 January 2010 (UTC)
• "Their location and their stats are randomly generated" should be more layman friendly, being "Their location and the benefits they give the player are randomly generated."
  • I used "effects" over "benefits" because some items do have a negative effect which "benefits" does not convey. ɳOCTURNEɳOIR _{talk // contribs} 19:56, 5 January 2010 (UTC)
• An extra sentence that says what an LUV is, I don't know and it makes reading confusing.
  • I've removed it per WP:UNDUE. ɳOCTURNEɳOIR _{talk // contribs} 19:56, 5 January 2010 (UTC)

Plot

• "gods of Katamari Village, whom she aided" doesn't need a comma
  • It does, in fact. The meaning changes without one. ɳOCTURNEɳOIR _{talk // contribs} 02:41, 6 January 2010 (UTC)
• The plot is well written and concise, but it seems much to short. Is there any pertinent details or plot points being left out or underemphasized? If not, that's fine.
  • The plot is kinda static and boring. It's also very short, yes. ɳOCTURNEɳOIR _{talk // contribs} 02:41, 6 January 2010 (UTC)

Development

• On the release section, paragraph 1, maybe it would be good to prose a few of the voice actors who did and didn't appear at the event described in order to fill out that info. something like "Both ____, who voiced _____ and ____, who voiced ____, appeared at the event to sign autographs with the staff. Other actors including: ____, ____, ____, and ____ could not appear for various reasons. In addition, the _____ of the games design crew was there with the actors."
  • I've added a reference that may be able to source this, but my inability to read Japanese restrains me from adding these details. ɳOCTURNEɳOIR _{talk // contribs} 02:41, 6 January 2010 (UTC)
• "Run to the Sun" should either be quoted, redlinked, or both, I'm not entirely sure
  • Redlinked. ɳOCTURNEɳOIR _{talk // contribs} 02:41, 6 January 2010 (UTC)

Reception

• "notable pluses, including" should replace pluses with "benefits" or "positive aspects"
• "dialogue and voice acting, like GamePro did, and felt that" I'm not sure if I would mix multiple review on a specific opinion piece. Maybe take out "like Gamepro did" and add another sentence like "Gamepro also felt similarly positive about the voice acting"
  • GamePro was mentioned previously, so it wasn't really mixing reviews. I've removed it, however. ɳOCTURNEɳOIR _{talk // contribs} 02:41, 6 January 2010 (UTC)
• "In general, 1UP.com though the game was" is this a typo or bad grammar?
  • Mine own idiocy. ɳOCTURNEɳOIR _{talk // contribs} 02:41, 6 January 2010 (UTC)

References

• Ref 30 should have a better title
  • I made a mistake with |'s. It's been fixed. ɳOCTURNEɳOIR _{talk // contribs} 02:41, 6 January 2010 (UTC)

Overall

Overall, this is a good article that has its merits and good writing style. Once the problems are taken care of, I will list this as GA. However, this article just barely passed due to the sheer low volume of information and references. The article could use some serious filling out and sourcing. But, it has still met all of the GA criteria, and so it deserves GA. Leave me a message on my talk page when these problems have been resolved. Congratulations and good job, GroundZ3R0 002 01:13, 6 January 2010 (UTC)

Review by GroundZ3R0 002 01:13, 6 January 2010 (UTC)

Thank you. It is my understanding that an article that includes all of the information available, even if it is insufficient for featured content, can be rated as a GA. ɳOCTURNEɳOIR _{talk // contribs} 02:41, 6 January 2010 (UTC)

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