Talk:Izuna 2: The Unemployed Ninja Returns/GA2

GA Review

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Hi, here is where I will be reviewing this article. I will post sections of the review as I write them to enable the page to be worked upon asap. Please, however do not add comments to this review until it is complete as indicated below as I may add to previously posted sections Cabe6403 ^{(Talk•Sign)} 19:06, 17 May 2009 (UTC)

Review Status: Complete Y

Pass/Fail: FAIL N

Lead

"was released in North America on July 22, 2008 and in Japan on November 29, 2007" - Why place the NA release date before the JP release date when that is not the order of release?

"Along the way, she angers a group of foreign gods, who attack her." - This sentence is worded awkwardly.

"Izuna 2 received mixed reviews, receiving aggregate scores of 65% and 63.56% from Metacritic and GameRankings respectively." - Suggest rewording this sentence to avoid repeating "receiving"

"Most critics praised the storyline and criticized the gameplay. Additionally, most critics believe that Izuna 2 will only appeal to roguelike or dungeon crawler fans." - Very minor issue, this would perhaps read better if rewrote as one sentence, at the moment the second part feels tacked on.

Gameplay

"has multiple floors that need to be cleared, and many of these" - Cleared of what?

"restore health excessively, a "SP bar" was added.[6] " - Source 6 has no mention of this SP bar. It does mention a "Stamina Bar" but, having never played the game, I don't know if this is the same thing or not. It also doesn't mention if this is a new thing. Try find another source that makes explicit reference to the addition of the SP bar. Also, define what this SP bar is, you link it to Magic point but source 7 says "SP is a combination of stamina and magic points" as opposed to just magic points as you have inferred.

"It constantly depletes per turn. A depleted SP bar will cause players to experience a decrease in physical damage." - Rewrite this. I assume that you mean a the attack power will be decreased but it's not clear. Also, this could be written better as once sentence.

"The game includes many RPG elements, including equippable items, stats, and experience points to level up." - Unsourced statement, should be an easy fix though

"In addition to the normal stats of equipment, they are also given a LUV stat to discourage players from switching equipment too often." - Not clear what a LUV stat is, an external source talking about it (in a review etc) would be helpful here.

"tems come in several types including pills, shuriken, kunai knives, bombs, caltrops, and restorative items that heal health or SP" - Rewrite this, reads awkwardly

"Talismans can stuck to equipment to add abilities" - CE

Plot

This section needs a good copy edit. Remove words like "luckily" and give the story from a neutral point of view - Take a read of featured articles like Halo 3 and see how the plot is impartial.

Surely you can get a better source for this section than source 11 which barely mentions the game nevermind the plot.

Development

"The reverse of the box is a mini-poster, also of Izuna.[20] In addition, any editions purchased through Amazon.com included a mini-poster.[21] Products purchased through GameStop included a mini-poster as well.[22] Each box purchased through either Amazon or GameStop will have two posters.[23] GameStop and Amazon each had an exclusive poster; the Amazon poster was chosen through a online poll. All other boxes contain one of two posters.[24] On the day of release, the posters for Amazon were lost, causing the boxes to be delayed.[25]" - This section is just confusing and needs a total rewrite.

Sources

You cite Joystiq 13 times in this article, see WP:VG/S - "A blog network; use of this site and its affiliates should be carefully considered" - Try replace as many of these with more reliable sources if you can.

Verdict

This article still needs plenty of work to be considered for GA status, as it stands I would say it is C class. Some points of advice from the previews reviewer where followed while others where not. There isn't much of a difference from between the initial review and my review with the second GA nom posted less than 2 weeks after the first was failed. Take your time, this is a new article and with a bit of work it can be considered for GA class. My advice is to follow the recommendation of GA reviewers as best you can then leave the article for a few weeks, come back and read it from the perspective of someone who knows nothing about this game or any similar. It might be wise to seek a peer review of this article before trying for GA again. Because of the amount of work that I see needing to be done I am failing this article. It is too far from GA class to be put on hold. If you have any queries about my review feel free to ask me on my talk page and I will get back to you on this page asap -- Cabe6403 ^{(Talk•Sign)} 20:32, 17 May 2009 (UTC)