Talk:2004–05 South-West Indian Ocean cyclone season

2004–05 South-West Indian Ocean cyclone season has been listed as one of the Natural sciences good articles under the good article criteria. If you can improve it further, please do so. If it no longer meets these criteria, you can reassess it.
Review: January 25, 2019. (Reviewed version).

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2004: Atlantic - W. Pacific - Central and East Pacific - N. Indian - S. Hemisphere

2004-05: S. Hemisphere - SW. Indian - Australian - S. Pacific

2005: Atlantic - W. Pacific - Central and East. Pacific - N. Indian - S. Hemisphere

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GA Review

This review is transcluded from Talk:2004–05 South-West Indian Ocean cyclone season/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Hurricane Noah (talk · contribs) 20:22, 23 January 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Will do Noah^Talk 20:22, 23 January 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Review

Lead

The first sentence in the lead has multiple issues. "The 2004–05 South-West Indian Ocean cyclone season was a near average season, but it began unusually early[...]" seems incorrect. Maybe change the second part of that to "despite beginning unusually early". Also, should be "on August 30" instead of "in".

Changed to your wording. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 15:59, 24 January 2019 (UTC)[reply]

In the second lead sentence, you should add a number for depressions since all 18 disturbances did not become TDs.

Added. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 15:59, 24 January 2019 (UTC)[reply]

I would change "Bento attained its high intensity at a low latitude" to peak. Additionally, I would remove "areas" after land.

Done. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 15:59, 24 January 2019 (UTC)[reply]

"The Australian Bureau of Meteorology (BoM) named the system Adeline, and once the storm crossed 90°E, the MFR renamed the storm Juliet, which would reach maximum sustained winds of 220 km/h (140 mph), making it a very intense tropical cyclone." Sentence should be split in my opinion. Wording also needs fixed after Juliet.

Split up and reworded. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 15:59, 24 January 2019 (UTC)[reply]

When did Juliet become ET and end the season? Noah^Talk 23:44, 23 January 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Added. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 15:59, 24 January 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Seasonal summary

Disturbances and depressions are two separate items, not the same thing. Noah^Talk 23:44, 23 January 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Split and changed. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 15:59, 24 January 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Systems

"and the JTWC classified it as Tropical Cyclone 03S" Probably should be changed to "with the JTWC classifying it as Tropical Cyclone 03S"

I'm not a fan of the "...with the... [gerund]". It happened on the same date, so "and" is correct. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 15:59, 24 January 2019 (UTC)[reply]

"and quickly intensified" should be changed to "while quickly intensifying"

Changed. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 15:59, 24 January 2019 (UTC)[reply]

"An area of convection developed west of Diego Garcia January 16" Add the word "on" before the date.

Oops, added. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 15:59, 24 January 2019 (UTC)[reply]

"On January 20, the MFR upgraded the system to Tropical Storm Ernest east of the Comoros." add a comma after Ernest

Added "to the" instead. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 15:59, 24 January 2019 (UTC)[reply]

"On the next day, Ernest turned southeast and made landfall in extreme southern Madagascar near Itampolo." Add a comma after Madagascar

Done. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 15:59, 24 January 2019 (UTC)[reply]

In the report to the WMO, the MFR noted that ""for a tropical depression system of such intensity not to be named is unprecedented in the recent history of the basin." Has an extra quotation mark

Removed extra quote mark. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 15:59, 24 January 2019 (UTC)[reply]

"After a period of inactivity lasting about three weeks, a tropical disturbance formed on March 19 west of Diego Garcia" Add a comma after 19

Added "to the". I don't like the comma breaking up such a short narrative. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 15:59, 24 January 2019 (UTC)[reply]

"The near-equatorial trough spawned a circulation in the Australian region on April 2 east of the Cocos Islands." needs a comma after 2

"to the" added ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 15:59, 24 January 2019 (UTC)[reply]

"On April 5, Adeline crossed 90°E into the South-West Indian Ocean[...]" After the E, add a comma and change into to "entering"

I disagree. The storm crossed into the basin by way of crossing that latitude line. I think the wording is fine. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 15:59, 24 January 2019 (UTC)[reply]

"The cyclone intensified further to an intense tropical cyclone" Change to "The cyclone intensified further, becoming an intense tropical cyclone"

Does it need the "becoming"? ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 15:59, 24 January 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Grammatically, it is fine as is. It might have better flow if it were becoming. Noah^Talk 02:35, 25 January 2019 (UTC)[reply]

"The JTWC estimated slightly higher 1 minute winds of 2300 km/h (145 mph)" Those are some extreme winds there

Lol oops, fixed. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 15:59, 24 January 2019 (UTC)[reply]

"Tracking towards the southeast, the low experience strong deep-level wind shear which kept most of the convection displaced from the center of circulation." should be experienced

Past tense-ified. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 15:59, 24 January 2019 (UTC)[reply]

"On August 31, convection managed to develop around the west and southwestern portions of the low before[30] and was designated as Tropical Depression 01." Before?

Ah stray wording, fixed. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 15:59, 24 January 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Those are the issues I discovered with the article. For some reason, I feel like I may have missed some issues. I wanted to give you a chance to correct these first before deciding whether or not to ask for a second set of eyes. Noah^Talk 23:44, 23 January 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for the thorough review! I beliieve I addressed all of your comments. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 15:59, 24 January 2019 (UTC)[reply]

I will read through it again tomorrow. I was pressed for time today. Noah^Talk 02:35, 25 January 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks again for reviewing! ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 16:25, 25 January 2019 (UTC)[reply]