Talk:Tekken: Bloodline

GOCE Copyedit

I've identified a few issues that should be addressed in the article by someone familiar with the subject:

• Who is "King" in the last sentence of the 2nd paragraph in the synopsis?
• YouTube is being used as a source, which is generally not considered a reliable source.
• Initial response to the trailers was positive according to the producers - Why would we rely on the producers to tell us how the trailers were received? Is there no other source that contains a review based on the trailers?

An editor familiar with the subject should definitely take another look at the article to make sure all of the information is accurate. I had to make some rather large guesses at what the original text was trying to convey and while I believe I've verified the accuracy of my statements through Google searches, it should definitely be reviewed. Please let me know if you have any comments or questions. AviationFreak💬 18:12, 21 October 2022 (UTC)

Thanks for the copyedit. About some points your mark though:

• The Youtube video is an upload from Netflix.
• About the producers' early comments in regards to how about they were received, how about moving them to the reception section?Tintor2 (talk) 19:01, 21 October 2022 (UTC)

Moving the comments to the reception section would be fine, but I still think there had ought to be a better source out there on the trailers' reception if we're going to mention it in the article. I also have taken a slightly closer look at the referencing and much of it seems to be from Twitter. This is a primary source and therefore generally is not suitable as a reference. I also removed some details about character design that didn't appear to be sourced and are almost certainly just minor trivia not notable enough for inclusion in the article. Linkedin is not a reliable source either, for similar reasons.

• The article is not clear on what "campy" fighters are.
• The phrase comparing it to the famous Land of the Lustrous or Dorohedoro series rather than Ex-Arm is confusing and a reader who is unfamiliar with these series will not understand what is being conveyed.
• See above comments about sourcing. Unless alternative sources can be found for the material in the article, information sourced to unreliable sources will need to be removed.

I've finished the copyedit, but as we've been discussing there are a few more problems that the article has. If you'd like a helping hand in resolving these issues, I'd suggest putting a request in at the Anime and Manga Wikiproject. I hope I've been a help! AviationFreak💬 19:47, 21 October 2022 (UTC)

Thanks for the copyedit. I'll try to solve the issues you pointed.Tintor2 (talk) 19:54, 21 October 2022 (UTC)

GA Review

This review is transcluded from Talk:Tekken: Bloodline/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: TeenAngels1234 (talk · contribs) 09:44, 3 November 2022 (UTC)

Stay tuned.--TeenAngels1234 (talk) 09:44, 3 November 2022 (UTC) @Tintor2:Okay. Sorry, I was busy.

• I would put a comma before `who wished to properly show'.
  • Revised
• Couldn't the sentences in the last paragraph of the incipit be tied together? That "As a result," for example, I don't like.
  • Revised
• I would simplify some parts of the plot.
  • Done
• Is the mention of the battle with Nina necessary? Maybe she is a key character, but it seems to me a very superfluous aside like that in Siynopsis.
  • Removed
• I would avoid the repetition of 'games' in Production.
  • Done
• I would put a comma before 'while the series' director'.
  • Done
• Harada's comment seems superfluous to me. The fact that he is the game designer on the other hand is encyclopaedic.
  • Removed the apology thing if taht's what the superflous
• The comments of the two voice actors also seem very vague and unencyclopaedic to me. I would remove them.
  • Removed
• "with Comic Book Resources". Doesn't seem related to 'mixed' to me. I would therefore split the period into two sentences; one saying the reception was mixed, and another separate sentence presenting CBR and other sources.
• 'Series writer' in capital letters.
  • Revised

That is all.--TeenAngels1234 (talk) 20:44, 8 November 2022 (UTC)

@TeenAngels1234: Thanks for the review.Tintor2 (talk) 21:01, 8 November 2022 (UTC)