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"The game is split between 2D pre-rendered environments navigated by the player character in 3D, and 3D battle environments." -> This is a little confusing. Maybe try, "The player navigates game levels in 3D, through a mix of pre-rendered 2D and true 3D environments."
Tried to clarify, but the suggested edit wouldn't be accurate, so I didn't take it verbatim.
"Each player" -> this is multi-player? Not usually what I'd expect from an RPG, and it's worth covering this before diving into the player vs player mechanics. Or if this is a computer player, maybe choose language that indicates that, and save PvP for later.
I've changed it to "player and enemy", which can apply to single and multiplayer.
"If players play the same color they both attack, and if one player's color is higher only they attack. Players may choose to not play a badge in order to save it for later rounds; if both players do not play a badge then neither attacks" -> "Players can pass their turn to save their badges for later rounds, otherwise dealing damage when their badge equal to their opponent's badge level, or higher."
Done.
"In the original version, alongside single-player combat against computer-driven opponents, network-based multiplayer allowed player-versus-player battles, linking up through matchmaking with nearby phones playing the game." -> "The original version features single-player combat against computer opponents, as well as as player-versus-player combat by networking and matchmaking with nearby phones."
Done.
"The game also features an in-game Battle Arena where players battle AI-controlled teams of three, which was expanded to player-versus-player in April 2006."
Done.
" Players could" -> "Players can"
Done.
Synopsis
"Code Age Brawls is set on an "intraglobular world" (球内世界, kyuunai sekai), a fictional hollow world similar to a Dyson sphere, with people living on its internal surface" -> "Code Age Brawls takes place on the internal surface of a hollow world similar to a Dyson sphere, also called an "intraglobular world"."
Done.
"are struck out of orbit" -> by who? Passive voice can be confusing.
Done.
"ends up joining forces with a vigilante group" -> "joins forces with a vigilante group,"
Done.
"The final chapter focuses on Lost L confronting the leader of Afternova with help from Commanders characters Gene and Meme; and R, a character from Archive with a similar condition to Lost L" -> "The final chapter has Lost L team up with R, a character from Archive with a similar condition, as well as Commanders characters Gene and Meme. Together, they confront the leader of Afternova."
They don't team up, it's implied to be antagonistic. I've tried to adjust.
The "Coded" condition seems important to understanding this, and could be explained sooner / clearer.
I don't know how this can be sorted. Working from limited non-English sources is...difficult. If I expand it, I'll be going beyond the sources.
Development
" difficult process" -> this feels out of place, unless there's some expansion on how it connects to the next few sentences about the co-producer / director / character designer / etc.
Not important within the scope of Brawls, so I dropped it.
Depending on how this section is rephrased, the first paragraph might warrant a paragraph break, for organization.
" help players understand" -> I'd rephrase this as more of a goal. In practice, connecting this with games that players haven't experienced probably makes it harder to understand.
I just rewrote this bit after double-checking the interview.
"assistance communication" -> this needs some explanation as to what it is
Did my best to rewrite for clarity.
"as they best fitted the mobile format" -> "to fit the mobile format"
Done.
Release
"A trademark for Code Age Brawls was registered by Square Enix in September 2004 alongside other trademarks relating to the Code Age project" -> "Square Enix registered the trademark for Code Age Brawls in September 2004, alongside other trademarks relating to the Code Age project."
Done.
" The game was simultaneously announced in Japan and shown off at a Square Enix press conference prior to E3 2005 as the third part of the Code Age project with a projected release in 2005." -> "The game was announced at a Square Enix press conference prior to E3 2005, with a projected release in 2005." (the next sentence covers the rest)
I just dropped the video bit, seemed too much.
"As part its promotion, a lottery campaign was run between its release and January 31, 2006, with the rewards being themed accessories." -> As part the game's promotion, Square Enix ran a lottery campaign for themed (in-game?) accessories."
Clarified.
The chapter sentences could be written in one short sentence. (e.g.: "The five chapters were released separately, on (date), (date), (date), (date), and (date)."
Done.
Reception
I'm not sure the quotes add very much, and the sentiment could be summarized in plain language.
Did my best here.
It might be worth separating the reception of the trailer from the reception of the game, as short as it is.
"the story follows the character Lost L as they struggle to survive through an apocalypse brought upon the world by its control system." -> "the story follows the character Lost L as they resist an apocalypse caused by an artificial world's control system."
Done.
"Lost L ends up helping a group of survivors" -> "Lost L helps a group of survivors"
Redone.
"Gameplay saw Lost L fighting in turn-based battles and absorbing defeated opponents' powers" -> "Gameplay consists of turn-based battles where the player absorbs the abilities of defeated opponents."
Done
"It released five story chapters " -> "It was released as five story chapters"
Done
"players controlled the character" -> "players control the character"
Done
"world even ten thousand years" -> " world every ten thousand years"
Done
"The five chapters were released separately, on December 15, then through 2006 on January 24, March 14, May 14, and July 3. " -> "The first chapter was released on December 15, 2005, with the remaining four chapters released the following year, on January 24, March 14, May 14, and July 3."
Done
I'm a little limited in my review of the Japanese sources, but I'm trusting that the sources check out. The other sources are solid. Shooterwalker (talk) 20:42, 25 May 2023 (UTC)[reply]
