Talk:Typhoon Kim (1980)

Typhoon Kim (1980) has been listed as one of the Natural sciences good articles under the good article criteria. If you can improve it further, please do so. If it no longer meets these criteria, you can reassess it.
Review: August 7, 2017. (Reviewed version).

A fact from Typhoon Kim (1980) appeared on Wikipedia's Main Page in the Did you know column on 14 July 2017 (check views). The text of the entry was as follows:

Did you know... that Typhoon Joe and Typhoon Kim struck the Philippines within a week of each other in July 1980?

A record of the entry may be seen at Wikipedia:Recent additions/2017/July. The nomination discussion and review may be seen at Template:Did you know nominations/Typhoon Joe (1980).

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GA Review

This review is transcluded from Talk:Typhoon Kim (1980)/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk · contribs) 01:41, 7 August 2017 (UTC)[reply]

"Throughout the Philippines, 40 people were killed, two via drownings, and 19,000 others were directly affected." - Numerical consistency.
- Oh fuck I forgot. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 01:58, 7 August 2017 (UTC)[reply]
"A total of 12,000 homes were destroyed and 5,000 villages received flooded." - Received flooding sounds strange. Just go with the typical "were flooded."
- I like to mix it up but I genuinely understand why you think so, either way, the sentence isn't correct. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 01:58, 7 August 2017 (UTC)[reply]
"Land interaction took toll on Kim, and upon entering the South China Sea, was down below typhoon intensity." - This needs to be reworded. Land interaction took its toll. The subject of the sentence here in land interaction, not Kim, so the entire sentence is off.
- Better? Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 01:58, 7 August 2017 (UTC)[reply]
"Kim continued northwestward, but its disrupted circulation, prevented re-intensification and it remained a tropical storm until hitting southern China July 27 to the northeast of Hong Kong, where only slight damage was reported." - Axe the comma after circulation, add one after re-intensification, and axe the one after Hong Kong.
- Technically in a compound sentence with two independent clauses there is no need for a comma before the conjunction. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 01:58, 7 August 2017 (UTC)[reply]
"Four hours later, the Japan Meteorological Agency (JMA) classified the system as a tropical depression.[2][nb 1]" - Notes before refs.
- Switched. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 01:58, 7 August 2017 (UTC)[reply]
"Despite aircraft data suggesting that the storm was not well stacked vertically." - This is not a complete sentence.
- Better? Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 01:58, 7 August 2017 (UTC)[reply]
"At around this time" - At or around, not at around.
- Oh wow didn't expect this to come up in the GAN. Good call. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 01:58, 7 August 2017 (UTC)[reply]
"Kim began to clear out an eye on the evening of July 23.[4] Subsequently, Kim, as forecast by the JTWC, entered a period of rapid deepening.[1]" - Just combine these.
- Done. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 01:58, 7 August 2017 (UTC)[reply]
"Ten hours later, a Hurricane hunter aircraft measured a pressure of 908 mbar (26.8 inHg)." - More specific inHg. Same for next sentence.
- I went to 3 sig figs in Phyllis if you were paying attention :P, but after what I did to you about the 24 hour stuff earlier, I'll change it. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 01:58, 7 August 2017 (UTC)[reply]
"Continuing to weaken due to land interaction, Kim had weakened below typhoon intensity once it emerged into the South China Sea,[1] according to both the JTWC and JMA." - had weakened --> fell
- Oh wow, I usually get yelled at for using "fell", but sure. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 01:58, 7 August 2017 (UTC)[reply]
"Typhoon Kim caused widespread flooding to Luzon." to --> in. Change "In Manila" to "Throughout Manila" if that's repetitive for you.
- Eh, I like "across" here but I like how you're thinking tonight. 01:58, 7 August 2017 (UTC)
"Across the Philippines, 40 people were killed,[13] two via drownings,[10] and 19,000 others were affected." - Numerical consistency.
- Fixed. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 01:58, 7 August 2017 (UTC)[reply]
"The next day day," - Extra word word.
- Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 01:58, 7 August 2017 (UTC)[reply]
"Some villages were flooded and two landslides happened." - Happened --> occurred.
- I like to mix it up, but I understand here. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 01:58, 7 August 2017 (UTC)[reply]

That's all. TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk · contributions) 01:41, 7 August 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks but slow down the GA reviewing. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 01:58, 7 August 2017 (UTC)[reply]