Wikipedia talk:Wikipedia Signpost/2018-12-01/Humour

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(Note: If you have not read the Anne of Green Gables series just skip this as it will be meaningless and not very funny at all.)

Pretty good article but I dare say, was it by accident or design that no mention of the human complications that being a carrot top brings to our unfortunate children? How can this article be complete without a mention of one of the most famous carrot tops of all time? These unfortunate people should not be just hidden away as though their lives don't matter. They do!!! Take for example Anne "Carrots" of Green Gables. Just look what it did to her (more recent photo here) [1]. Following the latest edition of Anne's story a literary scholar gave this report:

"Elena M" wrote: "For those of you who have not read this series, I will give you a summary: Anne is a young red-headed orphan sent to live on a farm on Prince Edward Island. Unfortunately the adoptive family wanted a boy but she does her best to fit in and warm their hearts. However, after coping with her feelings of abandonment and insecurity, getting her best friend drunk, getting teased by a boy in school [that's Gilbert who called her "Carrots," forcing her to break her slate over his head], and losing the only real father figure she's ever known, she dyes her hair blonde, [starts to wear eye makeup], dons a plaid shirt and becomes the town whore of Avonlea."

BTW, I LOVED this article--it's one of the best, maybe the best, thing I've ever read here. Gandydancer (talk) 19:03, 1 December 2018 (UTC)[reply]

It made my day to have such a kind compliment appear here, especially by you Gandydancer. I would like to explain myself a bit-it will give you an idea of how my version of humour is created. Not only is writing articles, creating content about women, and fooling around on the Signpost a hobby of mind, but I like to lurk on commons and find the funny images there (Do a search on commons using "mud wrestling"). I originally was going to improve the article Carotene but alas, for reasons known to my fans, I am not allowed to contribute to that article. Anyway, my habit of commons-lurking led to the discovery of these carrot images. And so that is where my inspiration came from. I happened upon the category Carrots and images during my commons-surfing and came up with my most ridiculous interpretations of the images. To me, there was no other way to make sense of the images except to pull them all together into a plot in which I could make sense of them and create a story line. Again, I am honored to have brought a giggle to your life. The Very Best of Regards, Best Regards, Barbara ✐✉ 14:52, 2 December 2018 (UTC)[reply]

This is a vicious and brutal all-out dissection of what the carrot has been upto! Clearly unparalleled in all of carrot literature, online and offline! :D :D Really witty! Such writing on Signpost is an inspiration! It was a lovely read :) DiplomatTesterMan (talk) 22:35, 2 December 2018 (UTC)[reply]

I was SHOCKED and APPALLED to see here an article headed by a picture of two naked entities obscenely intertwined. I know that there are no punishments in Wikipedia, but this clearly requires an exception per WP:IAR and WP:5P5, so I have written to the Supreme Cabal demanding that the evil and depraved Wikipornographer responsible for this outrage be immediately and summarily subjected to the Cabal's ultimate punishment. And hopefully their punishment will be sufficiently horrific to satisfy my inner sadist. Tlhslobus (talk) 00:08, 6 December 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Shocked and appalled indeed. Let us not forget that young impressionables of a tender age read our words and look at our pictures. Certainly now that the National Geographic no longer serves as the medium for teens to observe nakedness (as it did for those of my age), we are responsible to use only the most appropriate photos---and the lovers entwined photo is far from appropriate. Frankly, I've had about enough of this "it's ok as long as it's "instructive" I say we must boil the lovers alive, out of love of course, and then dress them with butter and freshly ground pepper. Perhaps quarter them first. Gandydancer (talk) 19:10, 6 December 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Frankly, Gandydancer, I'm even more shocked and appalled by your suggested use of butter. How can you possibly not know that we all have to go vegan to save the planet from climate change?

Tlhslobus (talk) 15:38, 7 December 2018 (UTC)[reply]

I am pretty sure everything, including the carrot problem is all Donald Trump's Fault. Life is easy when you automatically know who to blame (for everything) Best Regards, Barbara ✐✉ 00:13, 24 December 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Maybe it's almond butter. E Eng 16:02, 7 December 2018 (UTC)[reply]

This is my first time checking out the Signpost and this is the essay I encounter....no more carrots for me.-Sıgehelmus (Tålk) 01:57, 8 December 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Ahem. There are real deadly carrots, with dastardly common names to boot: villous deadly carrot-- OBSIDIAN†SOUL 13:52, 17 December 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Like I need one more reason to get blocked. Best Regards, Barbara ✐✉ 13:52, 19 December 2018 (UTC)[reply]