Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Robert Poore/archive1
- The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.
The article was promoted by FrB.TG via FACBot (talk) 26 October 2024 [1].
- Nominator(s): AA (talk) 10:35, 19 September 2024 (UTC)
This article is about the Anglo-Irish sportsman and military officer Robert Poore. Hailing from an Ango-Irish family of some standing, he was a prolific first-class cricketer who, interestingly, played Test cricket for South Africa. Mostly associated at first-class level with Hampshire, he was known for his outstanding 1899 season when, between June and August he was the highest first-class run-scorer in England and averaged 116.58. In that time he made 304 against Somerset, which was the highest individual first-class score for Hampshire until it was surpassed by Dick Moore's 316 in 1937. His average in 21 innings across the season was 91.23, which was a record average for an English season, that was not broken until Don Bradman averaged 98.66 in 1930, and not surpassed by an English batsman until Herbert Sutcliffe averaged 96.96 in 1931. He was a multi-talented sportsman, having success in polo, tennis, racquets, squash, and was the best-man-at-arms in several of the British Armed Forces Royal Tournaments. He had a long and distinguished career in the British Army, serving in the Second Boer War and WW1 amongst others, and ending his career as a brigadier-general. The article has been reviewed by WP:CRIC members, who have made suggestions. As a sidenote, I don't think we have any Irish cricketers at FA! AA (talk) 10:35, 19 September 2024 (UTC)
UC
[edit]Because it's come up in an article I'm working on at the moment -- the militia wasn't, technically, part of the British Army, but a separate institution (unlike its successors, the TA and the Army Reserve). UndercoverClassicist T·C 15:37, 19 September 2024 (UTC)
- @UndercoverClassicist: Weren't they amalgamated with the British Army sometime around 1906? AA (talk) 08:21, 20 September 2024 (UTC)
- Yes -- reading more carefully, I think you've threaded this needle fine: you have been clear about the distinction between militia and regular service. Might be worth checking whether the militia of the Wiltshire Regiment is accurate, or whether it was a militia battalion under the command of the Wiltshires (but not part of them) -- for example, the Bucks Rifle Volunteers were under the command of the Oxford Light Infantry, but didn't wear the cap badge and were rather protective of their separate identity. UndercoverClassicist T·C 09:40, 20 September 2024 (UTC)
- @UndercoverClassicist I've made a slight amendment in the article, linking to the 3rd (Royal Wiltshire Militia) Battalion in both the lede and "Military career" section. AA (talk) 09:37, 21 September 2024 (UTC)
- I think the change has gone slightly the wrong way, unfortunately: if he joined up in 1883, that's before the creation of the TA in 1908, so he would have been part of the Volunteer Force, rather than the British Army, until 1886. That's compatible with the body but not the lead. Being even more picky, in the British military, terms like "3rd (RWM) Battalion" don't make sense without an attached regiment, so you need "of the Wiltshire Regiment". UndercoverClassicist T·C 16:21, 22 September 2024 (UTC)
- "Poore began his military service in the Volunteer Force with the 3rd (Royal Wiltshire Militia) Battalion of the Wiltshire Regiment in 1883, before gaining a regular commission in the British Army in 1886." And reads along the same lines in the "Military career" section. Does that make more sense?! AA (talk) 16:47, 22 September 2024 (UTC)
- Yes, that works perfectly. As the Volunteers were (very) part-time, most people who served in them would have either had a day job or been so aristocratic as to not need one: I wonder if we know what else he was doing for those few years? UndercoverClassicist T·C 06:30, 23 September 2024 (UTC)
- I'll see what I can find out! Thanks again :) AA (talk) 20:41, 23 September 2024 (UTC)
- Have had a further look and it appears to be a rather quiet (or unwritten) period of his life. The family were very wealthy, so I wonder if he had need to work? AA (talk) 19:51, 24 September 2024 (UTC)
- I'll see what I can find out! Thanks again :) AA (talk) 20:41, 23 September 2024 (UTC)
- Yes, that works perfectly. As the Volunteers were (very) part-time, most people who served in them would have either had a day job or been so aristocratic as to not need one: I wonder if we know what else he was doing for those few years? UndercoverClassicist T·C 06:30, 23 September 2024 (UTC)
- "Poore began his military service in the Volunteer Force with the 3rd (Royal Wiltshire Militia) Battalion of the Wiltshire Regiment in 1883, before gaining a regular commission in the British Army in 1886." And reads along the same lines in the "Military career" section. Does that make more sense?! AA (talk) 16:47, 22 September 2024 (UTC)
- I think the change has gone slightly the wrong way, unfortunately: if he joined up in 1883, that's before the creation of the TA in 1908, so he would have been part of the Volunteer Force, rather than the British Army, until 1886. That's compatible with the body but not the lead. Being even more picky, in the British military, terms like "3rd (RWM) Battalion" don't make sense without an attached regiment, so you need "of the Wiltshire Regiment". UndercoverClassicist T·C 16:21, 22 September 2024 (UTC)
- @UndercoverClassicist I've made a slight amendment in the article, linking to the 3rd (Royal Wiltshire Militia) Battalion in both the lede and "Military career" section. AA (talk) 09:37, 21 September 2024 (UTC)
- Yes -- reading more carefully, I think you've threaded this needle fine: you have been clear about the distinction between militia and regular service. Might be worth checking whether the militia of the Wiltshire Regiment is accurate, or whether it was a militia battalion under the command of the Wiltshires (but not part of them) -- for example, the Bucks Rifle Volunteers were under the command of the Oxford Light Infantry, but didn't wear the cap badge and were rather protective of their separate identity. UndercoverClassicist T·C 09:40, 20 September 2024 (UTC)
OK, trying to do a proper review: may be a bit fragmentary:
- A couple of sources are to Who's Who, which has its issues (see WP:WHOSWHO). This one in particular might be a problem: he was a first-rate swordsman, and polo, tennis, racquets, squash, and shot player.
- Done. I have removed this source entirely. AA (talk) 22:48, 5 October 2024 (UTC)
- On that note: what's a shot player?
- Comment. Seems the source is referring to him as being a good shooter. I do have a source to back this up, but I can't access it fully (appears in the UK there isn't a digital copy available). It's in Breaker Morant: The Final Roundup. AA (talk) 15:35, 28 September 2024 (UTC)
- So "marksman" or similar? I'd normally understand "he was a good shot player" to mean that he was a skilled batsman, especially in a cricketer's article. UndercoverClassicist T·C 20:14, 29 September 2024 (UTC)
- Done. I have changed it to "marksman". AA (talk) 22:48, 5 October 2024 (UTC)
- So "marksman" or similar? I'd normally understand "he was a good shot player" to mean that he was a skilled batsman, especially in a cricketer's article. UndercoverClassicist T·C 20:14, 29 September 2024 (UTC)
- Comment. Seems the source is referring to him as being a good shooter. I do have a source to back this up, but I can't access it fully (appears in the UK there isn't a digital copy available). It's in Breaker Morant: The Final Roundup. AA (talk) 15:35, 28 September 2024 (UTC)
- Use an endash, not an emdash, in date ranges (MOS:RANGE)
- Done. AA (talk) 15:35, 28 September 2024 (UTC)
- I find the first paragraph of the lead a little confusing: we get a run of statistics, which are all at different levels (a number of test matches, a run rate in county cricket, a record for a particular county). I wonder if it would be better (and clearer) reworked to focus more on the overall narrative and less on the minutiae, which can be left to the body.
- Comment. @UndercoverClassicist:. I have removed the minutiae and included his wider sporting endeavours. How does it read now? AA (talk) 12:45, 6 October 2024 (UTC)
- Reads much better to me. UndercoverClassicist T·C 12:54, 6 October 2024 (UTC)
- he commanded the Jhansi Brigade of the British Indian Army
with the rank of brigadier-general: advise a cut here, as this was/is the normal rank to command a brigade.- Done. I have removed this and linked "brigadier-general" later on when referencing his honorary rank upon retirement. AA (talk) 22:50, 5 October 2024 (UTC)
- I find the lack of dates in the second lead paragraph to demand rather a lot of the reader's historical knowledge.
- Done. I have added some dates to address this. AA (talk) 22:48, 5 October 2024 (UTC)
- Juliana Poore née Lowry-Corry: see MOS:NEE
- Done. Née template added. AA (talk) 16:09, 28 September 2024 (UTC)
- Lowry-Corry, (daughter of: rogue comma here.
- Done. Removed! AA (talk) 16:09, 28 September 2024 (UTC)
- "Junior" is normally capitalised in names, isn't it?
- Done. It is indeed! AA (talk) 16:09, 28 September 2024 (UTC)
- Poore joined the Volunteer Force as a lieutenant : is this definitely accurate? Officers normally joined at the rank of second lieutenant (which is one down), sometimes named as ensign.
- Comment. I did wonder the same myself, but the earliest reference to him is in the London Gazette on 14th August 1883 (here), where he is commissioned as a lieutenant. AA (talk) 16:09, 28 September 2024 (UTC)
- Hm -- yes, that does seem to be what's going on (looking at the note above about the HAC, I wonder whether this was a period where -- for whatever reason -- parts of the army weren't bothering with 2Lts: the rank hadn't been around very long in any guise). Strictly speaking, though, the Gazette doesn't demonstrate that he joined the Volunteers on that date -- he could have been serving before he became a lieutenant. I see the Gent. suffix, which probably indicates that he was a civilian, but we'd need another source to confirm that. UndercoverClassicist T·C 20:14, 29 September 2024 (UTC)
- Comment. I did wonder the same myself, but the earliest reference to him is in the London Gazette on 14th August 1883 (here), where he is commissioned as a lieutenant. AA (talk) 16:09, 28 September 2024 (UTC)
- The rank of second lieutenant (introduced in 1877) was abolished in 1881 and reintroduced in 1887. All new officers in the period (and existing officers of second lieutenant rank) were granted the rank of lieutenant. If you want a citation its covered on page 271 of Roper, Michael (1998). The Records of the War Office and Related Departments, 1660-1964. Public Record Office. ISBN 978-1-873162-45-3. - Dumelow (talk) 00:08, 3 October 2024 (UTC)
- South Africa, where he served in the Second Matabele War in Rhodesia: Rhodesia wasn't in South Africa (with the capitals).
- Done. I have inserted "in neighbouring" into the sentence. AA (talk) 09:11, 2 October 2024 (UTC)
- before being promoted two years later to brevet major in May 1898.: would cut two years later: we don't need to say it twice.
- Done I have removed it. AA (talk) 22:48, 28 September 2024 (UTC)
- I would explain what a provost marshal is in the text. Was he the provost marshal for all of South Africa?
- Done. I have briefly explained what it entailed and who he was responsible to. Hope that part makes sense! AA (talk) 22:48, 28 September 2024 (UTC)
- and was mentioned in despatches in March 1900, to which the commander-in-chief, Lord Roberts: not the right preposition. I think it would be wise to take another swing at this section, cutting the long sentence down a few times.
- Done. I have shortened to include the important snippets. AA (talk) 22:48, 28 September 2024 (UTC)
- He was particularly active on the frontlines in the early years of the conflict: this seems needlessly ambiguous: did he later become particularly active in other parts of the conflict, or particularly lazy on the frontlines?
- where he was present at the Battles...: an odd way of saying it: this seems to imply that he didn't do very much?
- Done. You're right, it does imply that. I have reworded to remove any ambiguity that he was a bystander. AA (talk) 22:48, 28 September 2024 (UTC)
- with his diary including contemporary notes on their war crimes case: there are a few of these with phrases throughout. In general, they're best avoided: they usually become either or both of clunky and unclear. Suggest "his diary includes...". Also, hyphenate "war-crimes case" as a compound modifier.
- Done. Hopefully this is now more succinct and less clumsy? AA (talk) 22:34, 1 October 2024 (UTC)
- He returned home aboard the SS Canada in 1902, but would return there on military service until his final departure in 1905: return where?
- Done. I have made it clear he returned to South Africa. AA (talk) 22:01, 29 September 2024 (UTC)
- he was promoted to colonel in June 1915, and commanded the Jhansi Brigade in the British Indian Army for the remainder of the war, for which he was made a temporary brigadier-general: do I read right that he was promoted in June 1915, then immediately reassigned and promoted again?
- Done. @UndercoverClassicist: I have found a source which puts his appointment as commander as August 1915. AA (talk) 22:58, 5 October 2024 (UTC)
- Nice one. UndercoverClassicist T·C 06:58, 6 October 2024 (UTC)
- Poore was not initially overly enamoured with cricket, which he had learnt not through classical coaching but the perusal of textbooks, reputedly chiefly from the Badminton Volume of Cricket (1888); it was not until he visited India as a subaltern with the 7th Hussars that he realised his love for cricket: lots of positives phrased as negatives here: I'm not sure the density of them is good either for clarity or for style.
- Comment. @UndercoverClassicist:. I have reworded this sentence; does it sound more positive? AA (talk) 23:09, 5 October 2024 (UTC)
- Yes, it looks good. UndercoverClassicist T·C 06:58, 6 October 2024 (UTC)
- Styling his game on W. G. Grace,: on that of Grace, surely, unless his game was bearded and medically qualified?
- Done. Amended. AA (talk) 22:48, 28 September 2024 (UTC)
- "called up" and "called off" are not generally hyphenated (but the noun call-up is).
- Done. Fixed! AA (talk) 22:09, 1 October 2024 (UTC)
- as being "a remarkable feat of physical endurance", on what was "a sweltering July day".: more concise simply as as "a remarkable feat of physical endurance" on "a sweltering July day"?
- Done. This reads much better :) AA (talk) 22:01, 29 September 2024 (UTC)
- Had Poore met with success in these, he would likely have played Test cricket for England in the latter half of their series against Australia, but no Test cap for England was forthcoming: we've buried the lead here: presumably, he didn't play very well?
- Comment. He didn't particularly shine in the Gentlemen v Players fixtures, which were often used to choose the Test team for forthcoming matches. AA (talk) 23:21, 5 October 2024 (UTC)
- he made two final appearances in first-class cricket for the Europeans cricket team,: I'm not sure we need cricket team here, as they've been introduced further up. We haven't done it for the Parsees, who have a similarly ambiguous name.
- Done. "Cricket team" has been removed from the sentence. AA (talk) 21:44, 29 September 2024 (UTC)
- Up until his final years, he ran a cricket school which encouraged the development of young cricketers: I might be missing something, but what else would we expect a cricket school to do?
- Done. Yep, you're right, too wordy and stating the obvious! Would appear the school was based in Bournemouth, so have added this. AA (talk) 21:44, 29 September 2024 (UTC)
- Cricket was not the only field in which his sporting talents : it's good practice to restate the name in a new paragraph or section.
- Done. AA (talk) 21:44, 29 September 2024 (UTC)
- MOS:BIO discourages adding people's dates after their names; if someone's age or date of death is important, state it in prose.
- Done. I have removed the dates. AA (talk) 22:48, 28 September 2024 (UTC)
- Poore's sister Nina Mary Benita Poore (1878–1951), married her brother's brother-in-law: this took me a while. Poore's brother-in-law -- this is the Duke, right?
- Done. That's right! I have made that sentence more succinct. AA (talk) 22:12, 1 October 2024 (UTC)
- and was also a justice of the peace for the county: JPs don't generally cover a whole county; they sit at particular courts within a county.
- Done. I have reworded as I can't find which court(s) he sat at. AA (talk) 21:44, 29 September 2024 (UTC)
- a memorial was erected to his memory at Salisbury Cathedral.: as with the cricket school: is there any other sort of memorial? Simply "to him", I think.
- Done. Have reworded this section. AA (talk) 21:44, 29 September 2024 (UTC)
- he seems to stand for the Eccentric Ideal: I don't really see, from the article, where this would have come from. What did Cooper see in him that was so eccentric?
- Why does Stern come before Lonsdale in the bibliography (and Lonsdale come in two different places)?
- @UndercoverClassicist: Should these be in alphabetical order and not ordered by the position in which they appear in the article? AA (talk) 21:11, 30 September 2024 (UTC)
- The usual mantra around here is "any consistent system is fine", though purely personally, I've never seen a published work order its bibliography by the order of citation in the text. Given that it's a distinct system, I don't think many readers will pick that up, so it will look "wrong" to most of them, and I can't see a utility improvement to compensate. Most style guides go for alphabetical order, sometimes subdividing by source type if it's felt appropriate (for instance, separating out primary sources, like newspapers, from academic sources). UndercoverClassicist T·C 21:26, 30 September 2024 (UTC)
- Done. I have reordered it and gone for alphabetical order :) AA (talk) 09:11, 2 October 2024 (UTC)
- Why isn't Warner in the bibliography at all?
- Done. Added to bibliography. AA (talk) 21:11, 30 September 2024 (UTC)
- He was initially privately educated, before attending Cheam School in England: wasn't Cheam a private school? It certainly is today, and from looking at its Wikipedia article, it wasn't exactly an egalitarian place.
- Done. I have worded this so that it now makes it clear he was home educated before attending Cheam. AA (talk) 21:11, 30 September 2024 (UTC)
Nice work -- as usual, lots of pedantry here and, due to my lack of expertise on the subject, mostly quibbles about style and MoS. UndercoverClassicist T·C 20:55, 26 September 2024 (UTC)
- @UndercoverClassicist: hopefully get round to addressing the remaining suggestions in the next few days, long days at work slowing me down a little! AA (talk) 09:11, 2 October 2024 (UTC)
- @UndercoverClassicist:, I think that's all your comments addressed. Let me know if I've missed anything :) AA (talk) 13:39, 6 October 2024 (UTC)
- Looks good. Another small batch from a second reading:
- @UndercoverClassicist:, I think that's all your comments addressed. Let me know if I've missed anything :) AA (talk) 13:39, 6 October 2024 (UTC)
- Not sure about the name "Royal Navy and Military Tournaments" -- is that definitely right? I generally see it referred to simply as the "Royal Tournament", and very occasionally as the "Naval and Military Tournament".
- @UndercoverClassicist: I actually misread it in the source (ref 7) as saying "Royal Navy and Military Tournaments", but it is "Naval". The "Royal" prefix is still used by the reference (his Times obituary), do you think they have simply elongated the name? AA (talk) 19:31, 6 October 2024 (UTC)
- I'm not sure it was the "proper" name, but if it's in a contemporary HQRS, that's enough for me to say it's an acceptable way to call it. UndercoverClassicist T·C 20:05, 6 October 2024 (UTC)
- @UndercoverClassicist: I actually misread it in the source (ref 7) as saying "Royal Navy and Military Tournaments", but it is "Naval". The "Royal" prefix is still used by the reference (his Times obituary), do you think they have simply elongated the name? AA (talk) 19:31, 6 October 2024 (UTC)
- From there, he transferred to the 7th Hussars in the same year and would shortly thereafter serve: better to keep the tense straight: shortly after served...
- Done. I have used "shortly after served". AA (talk) 19:26, 6 October 2024 (UTC)
- army headquarters South Africa: that's a proper noun, so Army Headquarters South Africa (possibly with a comma in the middle) -- unless it's not the official name, in which case we need something like "the British Army's headquarters in South Africa".
- Comment. His appointment as provost came under the umbrella of the South African Field Force, so I would say that "Army Headquarters South Africa" would be more apt? AA (talk) 19:26, 6 October 2024 (UTC)
- Was that the official name of the place he was serving? If not, how about "the headquarters of the South African Field Force", with some explanation of what the SAFF was?
- UndercoverClassicist T·C 20:06, 6 October 2024 (UTC)
- @UndercoverClassicist: His Gazette citation reads: Captain and Brevet Major R. M. Poore, 7th Hussars, to be Provost-Marshal, South African Field Force. Dated 13th November, 1899. On page 125 of Breaker Morant: The Final Roundup it states he was provost marshal at Army Headquarters Pretoria. I will expand that section to include that detail. On the SAFF, we don't seem to have a Wiki article for it. So I wonder if it is an informal term for the South African Army?
- Googling around, it's definitely an official term: it pops up in a lot of historical books, but few of them explain what it was. I wonder if it's an expansion/renaming of the Natal Field Force? If you can't find any more detail yourself, I suspect there will be editors at WP:MILHIST who will be able to help. UndercoverClassicist T·C 06:11, 7 October 2024 (UTC)
- @UndercoverClassicist: Here's our answer! Seems to just be a term to denote a number of units working together. AA (talk) 12:31, 7 October 2024 (UTC)
- war-crimes trial: strictly, MOS:DASH prefers war crimes–trial (note the endash) when the modifying prefix is multiple words.
- Done, never knew this! AA (talk) 19:26, 6 October 2024 (UTC)
- Roberts praising Poore with regard his "care of prisoners": with regard to or just for.
- Done. It would appear just for his care of prisoners, so have amended to reflect that. AA (talk) 19:26, 6 October 2024 (UTC)
- the Battles of Paardeberg, Poplar Grove, Driefontein, Vet River, and Zand River: this should be the battles of Paardeberg etc (there's no such thing as the Battles of Paardeberg, so no capital on battles).
- Done. AA (talk) 19:26, 6 October 2024 (UTC)
- In February 1901, he was tasked by Kitchener with forming a Boer commando, the Bushveldt Mounted Rifles, which was made up of surrendered Boer combatants, whose task it was to loot cattle from enemy forces: the double relative clause is tricky. Suggest breaking the sentence after Rifles, and saying something like "The commando was made up of surrendered Boer combatants, and tasked with...}}
- I have broken the sentence apart, hopefully reads better now. AA (talk) 19:26, 6 October 2024 (UTC)
- he was a "brilliant" swordsman: tricky one: MOS:QUOTEPOV is an issue here. Advise he was considered a brilliant swordsman ....
- Done. Have implemented your suggestion. AA (talk) 19:26, 6 October 2024 (UTC)
- referencing the unusual manner in which he took up cricket, wrote of Poore: I think this would be clearer if we swap the he and the Poore -- at the moment, it could be Cooper who took up cricket in a strange way.
- Done. Ah yes, when you look it from another perspective, it does also read that Cooper took up cricket in an unusual manner! AA (talk) 19:26, 6 October 2024 (UTC)
Hi UndercoverClassicist, I was wondering if you felt in a position to either support or oppose this nomination? Obviously, neither is obligatory. Thanks. Gog the Mild (talk) 18:36, 23 October 2024 (UTC)
- Definitely a support: reads well, nicely researched, and solved a few tricky problems in the course of the review. UndercoverClassicist T·C 20:23, 23 October 2024 (UTC)
Image review
[edit]- File:Robert_Poore_c1908.jpg: when and where was this first published? Nikkimaria (talk) 04:43, 20 September 2024 (UTC)
- @Nikkimaria: I was absolutely confident it was going to be in The Jubilee Book of Cricket (1897) by Ranjitsinhji, but to my surprise it wasn't. The original upload by User:Materialscientist was taken from Getty, and they haven't provided any authorship or publication information. AA (talk) 08:30, 20 September 2024 (UTC)
- Can a publication old enough to satisfy the terms of the current tagging be found? Nikkimaria (talk) 04:34, 22 September 2024 (UTC)
- Would any of these images suffice? AA (talk) 12:03, 22 September 2024 (UTC)
- I'm not seeing publication info on those - is it known? Nikkimaria (talk) 03:43, 23 September 2024 (UTC)
- This one has erroneously been listed on ESPNcricinfo as having been published by The Cricketer in 1899, however it wasn't published until 1921. I have located the picture from this volume of Cricket: A Weekly Record of the Game, published in 1899. AA (talk) 20:50, 23 September 2024 (UTC)
- Can a publication old enough to satisfy the terms of the current tagging be found? Nikkimaria (talk) 04:34, 22 September 2024 (UTC)
- Okay, that would make it PD in the US for sure. Nikkimaria (talk) 04:28, 24 September 2024 (UTC)
- I rarely upload to the Commons (and when I do, it's always my own cricket photos), so I'm a little unsure if I have done this correctly. The original author is Lafayette, who I am fairly certain is the Irish photographer James Lafayette (deceased 1923). AA (talk) 20:32, 24 September 2024 (UTC)
- Okay, that would make it PD in the US for sure. Nikkimaria (talk) 04:28, 24 September 2024 (UTC)
- If you look at the wording of the copyright template you've used, it indicates that you'll need an additional tag for US status. Nikkimaria (talk) 04:51, 25 September 2024 (UTC)
- I have added the PD-US tag to it. AA (talk) 19:59, 25 September 2024 (UTC)
- If you look at the wording of the copyright template you've used, it indicates that you'll need an additional tag for US status. Nikkimaria (talk) 04:51, 25 September 2024 (UTC)
Comments
[edit]- Link first class cricket (I would personally remove "first class" from the opening sentence and then link it on what then becomes the first usage to avoid a sea of blue). Also check it is linked on first usage in the body.
- Done, have removed "first-class" and linked it later on in the lede. AA (talk) 09:08, 20 September 2024 (UTC)
- "at an average of 116.58" - link average here rather than on second usage
- Done! AA (talk) 09:08, 20 September 2024 (UTC)
- "Poore would serve in the Second Matabele War " - why not just "Poore served in the Second Matabele War"
- Done. Much more succinct. AA (talk) 09:08, 20 September 2024 (UTC)
- "The son of Major Robert Poore senior and his wife, Juliana Lowry-Corry" - I am assuming that was not her surname by the time the younger Poore was born.....?
- Done. They were indeed married by Poore's birth, have added "née". AA (talk) 09:08, 20 September 2024 (UTC)
- " it wasn't until," => " it was not until,"
- Done. AA (talk) 09:08, 20 September 2024 (UTC)
- "until, as a subaltern, that he visited India with the 7th Hussars did he realise his love for cricket" - this is hard to read and not grammatically correct. I suggest "until he visited India as a subaltern with the 7th Hussars that he realised his love for cricket"
- Done. Yes, that was a bit of a tongue twister! I have reworded along the lines of your suggestion. AA (talk) 09:08, 20 September 2024 (UTC)
- Also link subaltern (I for one have no idea what it means)
- Done. A mostly British term for a junior officer. AA (talk) 09:08, 20 September 2024 (UTC)
- "he subsequently made his debut in first-class cricket while serving there for the Europeans cricket team" - I would lose "while serving there" as it makes the sentence confusing, and the fact that the game took place in Bombay makes it obvious anyway
- Done. I agree, reading back it is an unnecessary and overly obvious detail! AA (talk) 09:08, 20 September 2024 (UTC)
- "which included a maiden century" - link or explain this cricket jargon (I see that "Hundred" is actually linked on the second usage)
- Done. I have linked the first usage and changed "hundreds" to "centuries" to avoid any cross-over confusion for readers not familiar with cricket jargon. AA (talk) 09:08, 20 September 2024 (UTC)
- "helped the MCC to an innings victory" - link "innings victory"
- Done. AA (talk) 09:08, 20 September 2024 (UTC)
- "The following season, Poore became the highest first-class run-scorer in England" -=> "The following season, Poore was the highest first-class run-scorer in England" ("became" could be taken to mean that he became the highest scorer of all time)
- Done. This reads much better. AA (talk) 09:08, 20 September 2024 (UTC)
- "Poore's innings was described by the Southern Daily Echo" - newspaper article should be in italics
- Done. Opps missed that :D AA (talk) 09:08, 20 September 2024 (UTC)
- "Had Poore met with success in these, he would likely have played Test cricket for England....." - did he not then.......?
- Done. He did not, had he done so he would have joined a rather exclusive club at the time. I have expanded the sentence by adding " but no Test cap for England was forthcoming". AA (talk) 09:08, 20 September 2024 (UTC)
- "Poore played in two matches in the 1906 County Championship,[28] with him scoring a century" => "Poore played in two matches in the 1906 County Championship,[28] scoring a century"
- Done. AA (talk) 09:08, 20 September 2024 (UTC)
- "it was said that with his height and massive frame, that when he struck" => "it was said that, with his height and massive frame, when he struck"
- Done. AA (talk) 09:08, 20 September 2024 (UTC)
- "he was a first-rate swordsman, polo, tennis, racquets, squash, and shot player" => "he was a first-rate swordsman, and polo, tennis, racquets, squash, and shot player" (current wording indicates that he was a first-rate polo)
- Done. AA (talk) 09:08, 20 September 2024 (UTC)
- "1898, 1899, 1906, and 1907 Royal Navy and Military Tournament's" - no reason for apostrophe in tournaments
- Done. AA (talk) 09:08, 20 September 2024 (UTC)
- That's what I got :-) -- ChrisTheDude (talk) 08:06, 20 September 2024 (UTC)
- @ChrisTheDude:. I have addressed your suggestions :) AA (talk) 09:08, 20 September 2024 (UTC)
- Support - nice one :-) -- ChrisTheDude (talk) 09:35, 20 September 2024 (UTC)
Matarisvan
[edit]Hi AA, my comments:
- Link to Battle of Zand River?
- Done. Have also linked Vet River, though it appears there is no article for that (I might add it to the MILHIST request page). AA (talk) 14:25, 28 September 2024 (UTC)
- Where was the Jhansi Brigade posted during Poore's command? Did they see any combat?
- I cannot find any written records of where or what the Brigade was up to during WW1 :( AA (talk) 14:25, 28 September 2024 (UTC)
- Done. They remained in India, being overlooked for any service in Europe. In India, he saw no active combat. AA (talk) 23:29, 5 October 2024 (UTC)
- I cannot find any written records of where or what the Brigade was up to during WW1 :( AA (talk) 14:25, 28 September 2024 (UTC)
- What was the outcome of the Aldershot match where Poore captained?
- Done. Result and reference added. It was an A&N victory by 6 wickets. AA (talk) 14:25, 28 September 2024 (UTC)
- Did Poore have any success as a shot player like he had for other sports? Also, what does shot mean here, shooting?
- Done I have found a source which would support "shot" as meaning shooting
though I don't have direct access to the source at the moment. AA (talk) 14:25, 28 September 2024 (UTC)
- Done I have found a source which would support "shot" as meaning shooting
- Consider adding the location of publication for Humphris & Creagh 1924?
- Done. AA (talk) 14:25, 28 September 2024 (UTC)
- Consider running the Internet Archive Bot on the page once so that archive URLs for weblinks can be automatically added?
- I have run the Internet Archive Bot here. AA (talk) 08:57, 3 October 2024 (UTC)
- Might I suggest adding archive URLs manually for refs no. 14, 20, 28, 29, 43-47, 51, 53-54, 59, Lonsdale 1984, Lonsdale 1988 and Warner 1938? Matarisvan (talk) 09:03, 3 October 2024 (UTC)
- @Matarisvan: I've added archive URLs to the non-CricketArchive URLs. I wonder if it is worth adding archive URLs for Cricket: A Weekly Record of the Game and other similar references, as the Web Archive snapshot is extremely glitchy. AA (talk) 13:37, 6 October 2024 (UTC)
- Not an issue then. Will do spot checks by end of day. Matarisvan (talk) 14:01, 6 October 2024 (UTC)
- AA, a support from me on prose. Spot checks:
- Refs #5, #18, #39, #48, #58, #64: all ok.
- Ref #22: I could not find, on pages 280-282, supporting statements for our text "He returned home aboard the SS Canada in July 1902". Could you provide the page number and its associated link here?
- Matarisvan (talk) 10:53, 7 October 2024 (UTC)
- @Matarisvan: The reference for him returning on board the SS Canada is here. AA (talk) 12:22, 7 October 2024 (UTC)
- The source review is a pass then. As an aside, you should correct ref #24, which shows "Humphris, Creagh & 1,924". Matarisvan (talk) 12:29, 7 October 2024 (UTC)
- Done! AA (talk) 12:37, 7 October 2024 (UTC)
- @Matarisvan: The reference for him returning on board the SS Canada is here. AA (talk) 12:22, 7 October 2024 (UTC)
- AA, a support from me on prose. Spot checks:
- Not an issue then. Will do spot checks by end of day. Matarisvan (talk) 14:01, 6 October 2024 (UTC)
- @Matarisvan: I've added archive URLs to the non-CricketArchive URLs. I wonder if it is worth adding archive URLs for Cricket: A Weekly Record of the Game and other similar references, as the Web Archive snapshot is extremely glitchy. AA (talk) 13:37, 6 October 2024 (UTC)
That's all from me, I will try to get a source review done soon. Cheers Matarisvan (talk) 09:37, 27 September 2024 (UTC)
- @Matarisvan: all suggestions actioned :) AA (talk) 08:57, 3 October 2024 (UTC)
- Hi Matarisvan, I was wondering if you felt in a position to either support or oppose this nomination? Obviously, neither is obligatory. Thanks. Gog the Mild (talk) 17:02, 22 October 2024 (UTC)
- @Gog the Mild, adding my support now, had somehow forgotten to do so earlier. Matarisvan (talk) 05:50, 23 October 2024 (UTC)
- Hi Matarisvan, I was wondering if you felt in a position to either support or oppose this nomination? Obviously, neither is obligatory. Thanks. Gog the Mild (talk) 17:02, 22 October 2024 (UTC)
SC - source review: pass
[edit]- Full review to follow later, but in the meantime:
- In the references you should delink the publishers and locations (all of these are superfluous and fairly useless – several of them are OVERLINKING, and they don't aid readers at all
- @SchroCat: How about keeping links to newspaper publications? AA (talk) 16:00, 13 October 2024 (UTC)
- Personally I don't, but it’s your call. The only thing you have to ensure is that you’re consistent in either doing all or none. - SchroCat (talk) 17:37, 13 October 2024 (UTC)
- Comment. I'll leave the newspapers linked as I feel it's appropriate to link The Times as there are multiple papers of that name, and so would not be consistent to also not link the other newspaper sources. AA (talk) 19:40, 15 October 2024 (UTC)
- Personally I don't, but it’s your call. The only thing you have to ensure is that you’re consistent in either doing all or none. - SchroCat (talk) 17:37, 13 October 2024 (UTC)
- @SchroCat: How about keeping links to newspaper publications? AA (talk) 16:00, 13 October 2024 (UTC)
- Ditto in the Works cited section, I'd advise delinking all the locations and publishers
- Done. AA (talk) 22:10, 12 October 2024 (UTC)
- It's best to aim for consistency in how you present sources, so get the ISBNs into the same 13-digit format; (you can use https://www.isbn.org/ISBN_converter to get the correct version for Thomson)
- Done. AA (talk) 22:09, 12 October 2024 (UTC)
- If a book has no ISBN (like Humphris), consider adding the oclc instead, which you can get from https://search.worldcat.org/.
- Done. AA (talk) 22:09, 12 October 2024 (UTC)
- Why are you using sfnref for the two entries from The Cricket Statistician when you could cite them directly to the author, Lonsdale? Ditto Warner
- Comment and done. As they were contributors to a section in the journal/magazine, I was under the impression we link to the work and not the author. If this is not the case, I have now changed it to cite directly to Lonsdale and Warner. AA (talk) 16:17, 13 October 2024 (UTC)
I'll do a full prose review in a day or so. - SchroCat (talk) 09:17, 11 October 2024 (UTC)
- OK, source review passed. - SchroCat (talk) 19:44, 15 October 2024 (UTC)
- SC prose review
- Lead & IB
- "Whilst" -> "while"
- Done. AA (talk) 19:40, 15 October 2024 (UTC)
- "adjuged" to "adjudged"
- Done, good spot! AA (talk) 19:40, 15 October 2024 (UTC)
- Military career
- "wife, Juliana Poore née" -> "wife, Juliana née" (Don't need to repeat the Poore)
- Done. AA (talk) 19:40, 15 October 2024 (UTC)
- "where took part in engagements" -> "where he took part in engagements"?
- Done. AA (talk) 19:40, 15 October 2024 (UTC)
- India and South Africa
- "with Poore playing a second match" ->"and played a second match"?
- Done, this reads much better. AA (talk) 19:40, 15 October 2024 (UTC)
- Hampshire
- "his height and massive frame": this is the first time his physique has been mentioned in the body, so it may be worth putting in some details (what was his height, for example)
- Comment. It was a little difficult to insert too much detail on his height and physique, however, I have inserted his height into the sentence using template {{convert|6.4|ft|m}}, though not sure if "6 feet and 4 inches" would read better (but the conversion template does not allow for this wording). AA (talk) 19:53, 15 October 2024 (UTC)
- It does allow it - I've tweaked to show it, as 6'4" is different to 6.4 ft. - SchroCat (talk) 20:25, 15 October 2024 (UTC)
- Comment. It was a little difficult to insert too much detail on his height and physique, however, I have inserted his height into the sentence using template {{convert|6.4|ft|m}}, though not sure if "6 feet and 4 inches" would read better (but the conversion template does not allow for this wording). AA (talk) 19:53, 15 October 2024 (UTC)
Hope these are helpful. - SchroCat (talk) 10:01, 14 October 2024 (UTC)
- @SchroCat:. These were helpful, thank you :) Please see my actions/comments above. AA (talk) 19:53, 15 October 2024 (UTC)
- Support. All good from me. - SchroCat (talk) 20:25, 15 October 2024 (UTC)
- Cheers :) AA (talk) 20:55, 15 October 2024 (UTC)
Drive-by comment
[edit]- References: article titles should consistently be in title case, regardless of how they appear in their original. Gog the Mild (talk) 18:39, 23 October 2024 (UTC)
- I think I've sorted the title case out with the references! AA (talk) 17:00, 26 October 2024 (UTC)
- Closing note: This candidate has been promoted, but there may be a delay in bot processing of the close. Please see WP:FAC/ar, and leave the {{featured article candidates}} template in place on the talk page until the bot goes through. FrB.TG (talk) 17:06, 26 October 2024 (UTC)
- The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.