Wikipedia:April Fools' Main Page/In The News/Archive 2010

Start of 1 April 2010 • End of 1 April 2010

External links

"Google-as-Topeka tops Web's April Fool's gags". CNN.
"April Fools: Best jokes from the tech world". The Daily Telegraph.
"The Best April Fools Jokes from Around the Web". Digital Trends.

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

Please use this page for discussions surrounding the creation of "In The News" items for April Fool's day 2010

Areas of work needed to complete the front page are:

Ground rules for this activity along with a list or participants may be found on the Main talk page.

General discussion

Hello. I am first here. I should like to take this opportunity to thank everyone for last year. Some of the "headlines" from 2009 feature here. --can dle •wicke 21:46, 3 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]

"Every item on the home page of the user-generated site Wikipedia is fake." Jacqui Smith's claimed expenses on pornography was correct (according to BBC). Stupid Fox News can't even be bothered to check for sources or take any interest in British politics. The news story made headline news for two days in a row on the BBC News. Jolly Ω Janner 13:36, 4 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Nothing was fake actually so don't take too much offence over the Smith story. The nude portraits controversy was even bigger news in Ireland as speculation mounted as to the artist's identity. The Museum of Bad Art also exists despite the ignorance of Fox. --can dle •wicke 21:04, 4 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]

please also know that news should be some what current too. so something that will happen during april 1 week would be more appropriate to discuss (for now). something that already happened will simply not be funny in 4 weeks. -- Ashish -g55 19:10, 4 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

(←) I think it is time to decide what items are going to be used. — Cargoking talk 22:18, 26 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Suggestions

Please suggest suitable items here. Thank you. --can dle •wicke 21:46, 3 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Topeka, Kansas

How about that Topeka, Kansas 'renames' itself 'Google, Kansas'? link here http://edition.cnn.com/2010/TECH/03/02/google.kansas.topeka/index.html Calmer Waters 07:41, 1 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Lara Bingle

If it doesn't violate BLP, we can make something up for her. Even Michael Clarke had to lcut short his New Zealand tour Geo.

Neutrality Arch

Turkmenistan announces the ritual movement of its monument to the late Sun God. Physchim62 (talk) 14:28, 21 January 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Hand of Henry

In association football, France is excluded from 2010 FIFA World Cup after the Hand of Henry scandal. - TouLouse (talk) 07:44, 3 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Ehm, the idea is to have real and accurate news with improbable wordings. The one you suggest is not accurate (as of today). --Tone 07:59, 3 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I think we can use this topic though. "French fans jeer Thierry Henry". --can dle •wicke 23:25, 4 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

* "France booed off the pitch as Spain triumph in Paris: Crowd turns anger on Thierry Henry".

* "Thierry Henry, whose infamous handball helped eliminate the Irish, was jeered when he left the field in the second half by a frustrated home crowd".

* "You might think the French fans would be grateful to Thierry Henry, their captain and record goalscorer, for making sure they qualified for the World Cup - albeit in somewhat unorthodox and controversial circumstances. Not a bit of it, judging by the jeering and whistling that Henry received from his home crowd yesterday". --can dle •wicke 23:29, 4 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Churchill's death

UK politician and writer Winston Churchill dies of cancer aged 69. Physchim62 (talk) 20:27, 3 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I like it, although we could do with making it a bit more humourous --Daviessimo (talk) 21:22, 3 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I'm having a sense of humour failure this evening, but how about "Winston Churchill dies nearly sixty-five years after the end of World War II". Physchim62 (talk) 21:45, 3 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Yes to this! Was going to nominate it myself. --can dle •wicke 02:20, 4 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. This is the best. --Plasma Twa 2 06:19, 4 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

This is funny? How could you even begin to think it was? It is in extremely poor taste and has now been removed from the main page. – ukexpat (talk) 03:15, 1 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Chile blamed by NASA

It would be good if we could use this in some way. Maybe something like NASA announces that Chile may be responsible for speeding up the rotation of the earth --Daviessimo (talk) 21:22, 3 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

"World speeds up in response to Chilean earthquake"? Physchim62 (talk) 21:52, 3 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

"Sun rises earlier due to Chilean earthquake." Spikebrennan (talk) 23:23, 11 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Playstation advice

The time machine, marketed by Sony as "PlayStation 3"

Sony blames a leap year for preventing PlayStation 3 owners from being able to play computer games --Daviessimo (talk) 21:46, 3 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Sony warns against playing on PlayStation 3 consoles. Physchim62 (talk) 21:50, 3 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I've added a picture which might be useful until someone can find a better one (or if they do). A Japanese multinational conglomerate corporation (headquarters pictured) inadvertently invents a time machine.

Or how many people are affected by this? A Japanese multinational conglomerate (headquarters pictured) investigates how X people were sent to 1999 and back again. There's a lot of fun possibilities for this one! :-) --can dle •wicke 02:35, 4 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

There must be millions of people affected. According to the article, there were 19 million units of the old-style PS3 sold in the U.S. and Europe alone by the middle of last year when the new slimline version became available. Physchim62 (talk) 11:48, 4 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

by april 1 the news will be too stale to be funny though -- Ashish -g55 19:09, 4 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Young air traffic controller

This might be worth a look - Dumelow (talk) 22:19, 3 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

The U.S. Federal Aviation Administration confirms that air-traffic control is not child's play. Physchim62 (talk) 22:23, 3 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Support. --can dle •wicke 02:21, 4 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

The youngest commander in American history is removed from office despite doing an "awesome job". --can dle •wicke 11:14, 4 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I like it, but I think the rules are (or, at least, should be) that we need an updated article as for normal ITN pieces. I can't eally see where we're going to get the article from here. Physchim62 (talk) 11:38, 4 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

An update could be made here John_F._Kennedy_International_Airport#Accidents_and_incidents --Daviessimo (talk) 11:42, 4 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

This one is pretty funny actually. -- Ashish -g55 19:19, 4 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

French hotline to God

Communication with Heaven was easier in the past, and the new French hotline aims to ease relations in the future

French Catholics speak directly to God due to a new development in France — Heaven relations. Or something like that. Puns the X — Y relations we're always featuring. --can dle •wicke 02:49, 4 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]
France–Heaven relations are considerably eased with the inauguration of a new hotline, cutting out the usual intermediaries. Physchim62 (talk) 12:08, 4 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Nana Mouskouri

A popstar offers to bail out Greece from its current financial crisis --Daviessimo (talk) 11:47, 4 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]
A Greek pensioner offers to help resolve that country's financial crisis! Physchim62 (talk) 11:53, 4 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

yes, that's perfect! --Daviessimo (talk) 11:58, 4 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Singapore's ban

Singapore's government refuses to surrender to parliamentary pressure regarding an end to its nationwide natural latex/synthetic rubber ban due to the sticky mess it leaves in public areas. --can dle •wicke 16:55, 4 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Picture from latex. --can dle •wicke 17:06, 4 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Erm, that's a picture of an opium poppy! Physchim62 (talk) 18:20, 4 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I know. :-) --can dle •wicke 18:26, 4 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Singapore declines to decriminalize the mastication of polyisobutylene and latex in the human mouth, citing public transportation concerns. Spikebrennan (talk) 23:28, 11 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Greece (again)

Greece decides to sell some of the country to help alleviate its debts --Daviessimo (talk) 17:09, 4 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

This is just a suggestion by a couple of German economists at the moment, no indication that the Greek government will follow through with the idea. Physchim62 (talk) 18:20, 4 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Internet Explorer 6

Thousands of people gather for the funeral of a famous but insecure information presenter in Denver, Colorado, United States. --can dle •wicke 23:57, 4 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I like it! but it should be "funeral in Denver, Colorado, of a..." to avoid a slight ambiguity. Physchim62 (talk) 08:07, 5 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

"... famous but insecure nine-year-old information presenter..." Spikebrennan (talk) 23:30, 11 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

"... gather in Denver, CO, for the funeral of a famous ..." --A More Perfect Onion (talk) 17:27, 16 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Legal representation for... wait for it... animals!

I'm sorry, but we've got to find away to use this. Its brilliant! --Daviessimo (talk) 19:45, 6 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Failed airport security test

Slovakian uniformed group uses air delvery system to bomb Ireland, a supposedly friendly fellow member of the EU. Kevin McE (talk) 00:44, 10 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

how recent does it have to be for this days "news"? Kevin McE (talk) 00:44, 10 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I think that one's OK if we can get a good blurb. How about: Northern Irish peace process on track despite the Slovakian shipment of high explosive found in Dublin. Physchim62 (talk) 09:14, 11 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

However, there is an untruth in that as there is no evidence that this had anything to do with the peace process. --can dle •wicke 05:10, 13 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

It's not an untruth, it is just two barely connected facts. Obviously the Slovakian explosives had nothing to do with terrorism, and certainly not NI terrorism, but it's ironic that they were sent to Dublin and not, say, Stockholm or Zürich. We could have run an ETA link if they'd been sent to Bilbao, for example. Physchim62 (talk) 09:01, 13 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Corpse found inside a grave

Why not this for the irony? A corpse is discovered inside a grave under soil in a cemetery. It has been in the news for several days too. --can dle •wicke 01:06, 10 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Yep, I like it!

This seems to be a recurring event in Cyprus. "One corpse is discovered inside a grave under soil in a cemetery but two more aren't". --can dle •wicke 12:40, 21 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Romanian town erects road signs warning of drunk pedestrians

Daily Telegraph Article to update would be Pecica. Physchim62 (talk) 09:14, 11 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Support - TouLouse (talk) 13:42, 13 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I looked into this a lttle bit, and the story is actually "Romanian town forced to change signs warning of drunk pedestrians": the signs showing a crawling person with a bottle are being changed to the standard exclamation mark signs for legal reasons. Still, I think we have something to go on! Physchim62 (talk) 13:49, 13 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Swiss teeth-cleaning service

Guests at a Zürich facility are offered a free natural teeth-cleaning service. --can dle •wicke 04:11, 13 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]
- "free natural" doesn't supply a hook that looks fake or shocking. "Guests at a Zürich facility have their teeth cleaned by live zebras" might be better. Spikebrennan (talk) 19:05, 18 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Scantily-clad women

Officials are "very, very sorry" after a stream of scantily-clad women are exposed to children in a small area of the United States. (BBC) (The Guardian) (Radio Netherlands Worldwide) (The Times of India) --can dle •wicke 02:54, 20 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Sailing

A member of the Rothschild banking family of England sails past the Great Pacific Garbage Patch on a boat made of 12,000 plastic bottles. It's true! --can dle •wicke 12:50, 21 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

This looks pretty good, hopefully it will be pretty close to the garbage patch on 1st April (current position shown here) Modest Genius ^talk 00:02, 24 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Referendum

Slovakia decided to postpone a "Patriot Act's" commencement from 1 April to September which says that every school must begin their first class on a Monday singing the national anthem. It would be brilliant if was on April 1 though. [1] — Cargoking talk 15:05, 21 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Susan Boyle

This is an entertainment event taking place on April 1. Scottish sensation Susan Boyle receives a very expensive birthday present. 1 2 3 4 --can dle •wicke 19:07, 21 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

CERN

According to [2], some nice new experiments :-) Just need some imagination with the blurb and a reasonable update. Scheduled for March 30. If no better idea, we can go with "The world still exists after the recent experiment in CERN." (If I am wrong, that will be irrelevant by then.) --Tone 22:29, 23 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Despite unprecedented efforts, CERN's Large Hadron Collider has still not destroyed the world (at the time of writing). Physchim62 (talk) 23:04, 23 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

'CERN's Large Hadron Collider breaks its own record as the highest energy particle accelerator, but still doesn't destroy the world' Modest Genius ^talk 23:59, 23 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Tricky one. I prefer my blurb over MG's – but then, only I have my sense of humour! I think, with a bit more input, we can work an April Fool's piece out of this :) Physchim62 (talk) 00:20, 24 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I like the Phys', it runs a bit smoother in my opinion, though its missing the main story, unlike MG's. --Plasma Twa 2 06:19, 24 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I like the idea. How about something like "CERN announced the creation of a black hole that began to absorb parts of the Swiss Alps." Those rocket scientists at FOXnews knew it all the way. ;-) —bender235 (talk) 02:47, 27 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

UK Space Agency

They start working on April 1. Perfect timing to have some reasonable news. --Tone 22:29, 23 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

'The UK sets up a new space agency, despite shutting down the British National Space Centre the day beforehand' Modest Genius ^talk 23:52, 23 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I said it on itn, but I'll say it again here: I hope someone finds a way to reference Moonraker if this goes up (Though I think MG's is pretty damn funny.) --Plasma Twa 2 06:23, 24 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Last Supper

The food eaten by Jesus and his disciples has increased in size by up to two-thirds over the last millennium. BBC News Physchim62 (talk) 23:01, 23 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Mystery Monkey of Tampa Bay

For the past year, a rhesus macaque monkey has been on the loose in St. Petersburg, Florida and evaded capture by authorities. The monkey looks both ways to check for traffic before crossing the street. Source Associated Press Grundle2600 (talk) 21:36, 24 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

It would be great if we could get a Jimbo quote on this one, as he is probably St. Petersburg's most famous resident...o on, Jimbo, just tell us that it isn't you! Physchim62 (talk) 23:30, 24 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

When I think of St. Petersburg I think of Saint Petersburg. Perhaps this could be implied on 1 April, i.e. no "Florida", no "United States". It could also be implied that the monkey was on someone called "St. Pete" (if the shortened version in the article is accurate). --can dle •wicke 00:23, 27 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I for one, do not get it. I think it would probably make a better joke if we implied it was the Russian city, though. --Plasma Twa 2 02:05, 27 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Hairy resident of St. Petersburg neither Rasputin nor Jimmy Wales. Physchim62 (talk) 02:19, 27 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]
- A hairy male inhabitant of St. Petersburg flees authorities by crossing the street again. --can dle •wicke 03:36, 27 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

That's exaggerating. And does not sound particularly funny to me... But we could just go with The Mystery Monkey of Tampa Bay is being sighted in St. Petersburg, Florida. (and we leave the readers think whatever they think, it's bizarre enough). --Tone 18:03, 27 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Choosing the items

We have quite some material already. And we will need to pick some items soon. My personal pick is the following (just picking the news, the blurbs can be worked on):

The Mystery Monkey of Tampa Bay is being sighted in St. Petersburg, Florida. (the first item on ITN, to make a good impression)
The UK sets up a new space agency. (even without having a funny blurb, this seems like a prank among less serious blurbs).
Winston Churchill dies nearly sixty-five years after the end of World War II. (one month old news but too good not to use).
something with the garbage patch (the articles needs work, though)
something about CERN (if the world is still there)
A device, being sold by Japanese multinational conglomerate, is found to contain an error that could send people back in time, affecting millions. (again, one month old but too good not to use).

We also need an image, I'd suggest the Sony building (intentionally connected with the last item in the box). That are my ideas. Feel free to improve them. --Tone 18:19, 27 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

And the corpses of Nicosia... --can dle •wicke 22:15, 27 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Yes definitely. — Cargoking talk 22:42, 27 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I think that this story is just not funny and that it would be inappropriate to make it such. Besides, the article update is one sentence long. However, I forgot about the mysterious island yesterday, we may include that one as well. --Tone 11:40, 28 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I was going to update it but maybe not then. What "mysterious island"? --can dle •wicke 18:59, 28 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I still like something about CERN. Black holes and stuff, you know. --bender235 (talk) 01:58, 28 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

After reading all the nominations, I am personally drawn to the last supper ones and how the food is getting bigger overtime.--Found5dollar (talk) 18:04, 28 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

What about Internet Explorer 6? --can dle •wicke 19:42, 28 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

The mysterious island is South Talpatti Island that has recently disappeared. And then there's a new candidate from today, Time in Russia, about changing timezones. Another one with time travel! I'll try to modify the wordings a bit, some of them appear a bit short. --Tone 20:02, 28 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Just a FYI, DYK is having a hook about Dmitry Medvedev, so you may not want to use his name in the ITN section so that nothing points out that another thing is a joke across the front page.--Found5dollar (talk) 00:15, 29 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

For what ever we choose

For what ever we choose we should link one of the joke to [3]. It's the viral video of that funny russian singer. It's like the new rick and is hilarious.--Everyone Dies In the End (talk) 06:22, 1 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Chosen items

Taken from the above to add ITN updates which appear to be complete. I've updated Great Pacific Garbage Patch. --can dle •wicke 19:29, 28 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Time travel appears updated. --can dle •wicke 19:30, 28 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

UK Space Agency seems OK. --can dle •wicke 19:32, 28 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Mystery Monkey of Tampa Bay, not sure how to phrase but it can always be changed. --can dle •wicke 19:36, 28 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Winston Churchill seems fine. --can dle •wicke 19:41, 28 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

A lot of British nominations but I've tried to keep them separate from one another. --can dle •wicke 19:46, 28 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Just to confuse further I wonder if we can have the UK Space Agency at the top beside the picture of the multinational conglomerate HQ... :D --can dle •wicke 19:48, 28 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

To be honest, I just don't get the joke in the UK space agency item. Is it funny that a country that is as small as being the 6th biggest economy in the world has a space agency? Is it funny that this space agency is replacing the existing one? I mean, I really don't get the joke or am I just being really dense? --Daviessimo (talk) 07:34, 29 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

The idea behind this item is that it is a serious item with serious wording hidden among less-serious items. Which would supposedly make it look improbable. --Tone 09:40, 29 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I dont think people will get it they will just be like "well that isn't funny" or they may think that we are sayign the whole UK space agency is a joke, and not in the funny , ha ha, way, but in the it is stupid way.--Found5dollar (talk) 15:07, 29 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Could be the case indeed. Well, we have more items to choose from. --Tone 17:22, 29 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

LHC/doomsday item would be good too since its current news -- Ashish -g55 20:59, 30 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

ok after reading a few times i agree too that UK Space Agency item is rather confusing. im not sure anyone will get why its funny. i suggest replacing with LHC. -- Ashish -g55 13:10, 31 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I agree. --Tone 14:34, 31 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Ok, seems that's it... we're going live in half an hour :-) (don't forget to upload the image first...) --Tone 23:27, 31 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Posted. --Tone 00:09, 1 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Looks like we both had the same idea. I accidentally uploaded the image over your version but everything seems to be OK. I have removed the CERN item for the time being as the balance was bit off, it can always be readded later. It is still off but the problem seems to be that DYK is shorter than usual (or OTD longer) - Dumelow (talk) 00:14, 1 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Yep, that was some good timing :-) Well, the DYK will change during the day so we can add or remove the last item as needed. --Tone 07:12, 1 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

A Japanese multinational conglomerate (headquarters pictured) investigates how some of its customers were accidentally sent back in time to the year 1999.
The Russian Federation shrinks the country in time after a much-discussed Presidential decree.
British politician and writer Winston Churchill dies nearly sixty-five years after the end of World War II.
The Mystery Monkey of Tampa Bay evades authorities in St. Petersburg.
A member of the Rothschild banking family of England heads for the Great Pacific Garbage Patch on a boat made from 12,000 plastic bottles.
If you are reading this, the latest record-breaking experiments at CERN's Large Hadron Collider have not yet caused the end of the world as we know it.

Wikinews – Recent deaths – More current events...

Reserve list

A few more, so they don't get forgotten and in case we get complaints (which we always do!).

CERN: maybe something along the lines of "If you are reading this, the latest record-breaking experiments at CERN's Large Hadron Collider have not yet caused the End of the World as we know it."; maybe a nice one to close the list with.
Internet Explorer: seems like a safe bet
Cyprus graves: currently subject to a taste objection from Tone
drunken pedestrians in Romania: needs updating
disappearing Island in the Bay of Bengal: "Bangladesh and India benefit from non-conventional conflict resolution for a border dispute."

Physchim62 (talk) 02:45, 29 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Just a note that the South Talpatti Island item is on ITN today so shouldn't be featured again on 1 April - Dumelow (talk) 17:24, 29 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

So is the recent CERN experiment. But I believe we could still use them, we just need to change the blurbs. --Tone 20:14, 30 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

There's some precedent for that: last year we ran an April Fool's story about the corruption scandal among UK Members of Parliament, then reran the same story (with a different blurb, obviously) a couple of weeks later when the scandal had grown large enough to get a normal slot. It is the blurb that is the April Fool, not the story itself. Physchim62 (talk) 18:40, 31 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.