User talk:Rifelpet/sandbox

Hi Rifelpet (& co). I thought I'd leave you a message here regarding the work in the sandbox. Keep an eye on the sandbox's talk page, it's where I'll leave you messages for that work.

Looking good so far anyway, well written and well sourced. I have a couple of suggestions though

If you don't need the talking heads stuff, you are allowed to delete it ;)
Don't forget that Wikipedia is an international encyclopedia. The iPhone wasn't on AT&T over here, as AT&T don't serve the UK (it was originally tied to O2). Probably different again in Australia, say. I'm not saying you need to list every single tying point, but perhaps you should qualify that "in America..."
A "wireless service" means nothing to some international readers. In the UK, wireless can mean an oldfashioned radio or a wireless internet connection... which doesn't quite match up. Basically, if you're introducing a concept, link it through to the appropriate wikipedia article using square brackets,[[ ]].

Good luck with it all Worm^TT 09:47, 15 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Good job on integrating the feedback in. I look forward to seeing what you do next! When you are happy that you want the article live, let me know and I'll offer some tips. Worm^TT · (talk) 09:45, 21 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]