User:Redwidgeon/sandbox/Copyediting practice

To find my total edits: go to this page

Participating in a Guild of Copy Editors 'drive'

• find the drive info; e.g. Wikipedia:WikiProject Guild of Copy Editors/Backlog elimination drives/January 2021
• find an article to edit; e.g. from here: [1]
• follow all the directions at Wikipedia:WikiProject_Guild_of_Copy_Editors/Backlog_elimination_drives, including the rollover words directions
• ensure the editable article isn't in use. Check the page history and look for "in use" (in the article) and "reviewed" (in the talk page) tags.
• place an 'in use' template at the top; e.g. Template:In use

Fending off Vikings

Original text

By the time of Ramiro's reign,Vikings had infested the waters of Europe's coastal regions. In 844, a fleet disembarked in Corunna, and began to raid the countryside, burning and pillaging indiscriminately. Ramiro marched against them with a potent army, managing to rout the invaders. He took some of them as prisoners and burned the best part of their fleet. Ramiro's reception frightened the Viking raiders enough that raiding parties no longer troubled the coastlines of Asturias.

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Editing problems with this text?

Neutral POV? Some of the language seems loaded.

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Suggested re-write:

By the time of Ramiro's reign,Vikings were frequenting the waters of Europe's coastal regions. In 844, a fleet disembarked in Corunna, and began to raid the countryside, burning and pillaging. Ramiro marched against them with an army of considerable strength and managed to rout the invaders. He took some of them as prisoners and burned a large part of their fleet. Ramiro's reception dissuaded the Vikings enough such that they no longer raided the coastlines of Asturias.

Adding Lead section to Barsuk Records discography

Barsuk Records is an independent record label based in Seattle, Washington. It was established in 1998 by members of the band This Busy Monster, originally to publish their own material. Since that time they have published between 3 and 15 titles each year, from a number of different artists. Titles are released primarily in vinyl, CD, cassette, and digital formats.

Adding Lead to British Society for Neuroendocrinology

The British Society for Neuroendocrinology (BSN) was formally established in 2001 to promote learning and research into neuroendocrinology. Publications of the Society include the Journal of Neuroendocrinology and Neuroendorcrine Briefings. Since 1989 the Society has awarded annually the Mortyn Jones Lectureship to a researcher who has made a major contribution to neuroendocrine research. The BSN is a registered charity in the UK.

improving lead for Little Muskego Lake

Little Muskego Lake is located in Muskego, Waukesha County, Wisconsin, along a tributary stream to the Fox River. The lake is populated by muskgrass, water celery and other plants, including several invasive species. Fishing is permitted for personal consumption only: bass and panfish are the primary species caught. Agricultural land use near the lake and increasing urbanization both contribute to pollution. Little Muskego is a multi-purpose lake used for many different recreational activities, including boating, swimming, waterskiing and ice-fishing. The mean depth of this lake is 14 meters (46 ft) and the area is 190.2 hectares (470 acres). a Dimictic lake

improving lead for Child soldiers in Uganda

Child soldiers in Uganda are members of the Lord's Resistance Army, a rebel group that has been abducting young people since 1987 to fill out their ranks. Children and youth (both boys and girls) are usually abducted from their homes, often with one or more others, and in characteristically violent ways. New abductees are subjected to an intense period of integration and homogenization. Once indoctrinated, recruits are retained by threats of violence, cultivation of an intense in-group identity, and a belief in spiritual monitoring and punishment.

During captivity, abductees are subjected to harsh living conditions, victimization and abuse. Most older males receive military training while females are often assigned as sexual partners to commanders. Almost all abductees witness acts of violence and most are forced to commit atrocities targeting civilians.

Once liberated, former abductees display physical, psychological, and social problems. Many are rejected by their families and communities, and are considered evil and diseased. Traditional beliefs about cen, a kind of malevolent spiritual force or vengeful ghost, contributes to villagers perceiving former abductees as socially polluting and potentially dangerous. However, some families are able to support their children's return to the family and engage in cleansing rituals to help the child reintegrate into the community.

adding lead for Baha'i faith in Central America

The development of the Baha'i faith in Central America was first proposed in the Tablets of the Divine Plan in 1916. In 1927 Leonora Armstrong was the first Baháʼí to visit and lecture in many Latin American countries. The First Seven Year Plan (1937–44) assigned American Baháʼís the task of establishing the Baháʼí Faith in every country in Latin America; Baháʼí communities and Local Spiritual Assemblies began to form in the region in 1938.

Central American countries with an established Baha'i community include Belize, Costa Rica, and Panama. Caribbean countries with established Baha'i communities include Barbados, Trinidad and Tobago, Dominica, Haiti, and Jamaica.

adding lead for Sack of Santiago de Compostela

The sack (plundering) of Santiago de Compostela occurred in 968 AD, when a Viking fleet led by Gunrod entered and sacked the city of Santiago de Compostela in northern Hispania (now Spain). The attack had been encouraged by duke Richard I of Normandy. Three years later Gunrod attempted to sack the city again; however, this time his fleet was met with a powerful army and the sacking was averted.

adding lead for Fashion in Nigeria

Background The fashion industry in Nigeria plays an important cultural role and contributes significantly to the country's economics. Casual attire is commonly worn but formal and traditional styles are also worn depending on the occasion. Clothing incorporates a variety of colours, fabrics, and embellishments (often beads). Many of the component cultures of Nigeria wear styles that are unique to their tribal society and customs. Nigeria is known not only for its fashionable textiles and garments, but also for its fashion designers who have increasingly gained international recognition.

adding lead for Science Development Foundation (Azerbaijan) - needs removal after Jan. 5

The Science Development Foundation (SDF) of Azerbaijan was established by presidential order on 21 October 2009. The Foundation was designed to implement scientific projects, organize scientific events, and support scientists and scientific organizations, and enhance the role of science in all social-economic fields. Funding for the Foundation is provided by the state budget. Mehriban Imanova was appointed Executive director of the SDF on 20 September 2019.

The SDF interacts with over a dozen science-related organizations in Azerbaijan. The Foundation also participates in international projects with scientific organizations in France, Belarus, South Korea, Georgia, and Russia.

expanding lead for Interplanetary spaceflight - removed lead-too-short template Feb. 12 2021

Interplanetary spaceflight or interplanetary travel is the crewed or uncrewed travel between stars and planets, usually within a single planetary system.[1] In practice, spaceflights of this type are confined to travel between the planets of the Solar System. Uncrewed space probes have flown to all the planets in the Solar System as well as to dwarf planets Pluto and Ceres, and several asteroids. Orbiters and landers return more information than fly-by missions. Crewed flights have landed on the Moon and have been planned, from time to time, for Mars and Venus. While many scientists appreciate the knowledge value that uncrewed flights provide, the value of crewed missions is more controversial. Science fiction writers propose a number of benefits, including the mining of asteroids, access to solar power, and room for colonization in the event of an Earth catastrophe.

A number of techniques have been developed to make interplanetary flights more economical. Advances in computing and theoretical science have already improved some techniques, while new proposals may lead to improvements in speed, fuel economy, and safety. Travel techniques must take into consideration the velocity changes necessary to travel from one body to another in the Solar System. For orbital flights, an additional adjustment must be made to match the orbital speed of the destination body. Other developments are designed to improve rocket launching and propulsion, as well as the use of non-traditional sources of energy. The use of extraterrestrial resources for energy, oxygen, and water is a possibility that would reduce costs and improve life support systems.

Any crewed interplanetary flight must include certain design requirements. Life support systems must be capable of supporting human lives for extended periods of time. Preventative measures are needed to reduce exposure to radiation and ensure optimum reliability.

expand lead for Food sovereignty (template removed)

"Food sovereignty", a term coined in 1996 by members of Via Campesina, an international farmers' organisation, asserts that the people who produce, distribute, and consume food should control the mechanisms and policies of food production and distribution. This stands in contrast to the present corporate food regime, in which corporations and market institutions dominate the global food system. The phrase "culturally appropriate" signifies that the food that is available and accessible for the population should fit with the cultural background of the people consuming it.

Food sovereignty refers to a food system in which the people who produce, distribute, and consume food also control the mechanisms and policies of food production and distribution. This stands in contrast to the present corporate food regime, in which corporations and market institutions dominate the global food system. (Food sovereignty, with its emphasis on local, culturally appropriate and sustainable food, is also contrasted with food security, which emphasises access to adequate nutrition for all, regardless of where the food comes from.) The term "food sovereignty" was first coined in 1996 by members of Via Campesina, an international farmers' organisation. Since then, food sovereignty has been further defined by several international organisations, including the World Bank and United Nations. In 2007, the "Declaration of Nyéléni" provided a definition which was adopted by 80 countries; in 2011 it was further refined by countries in Europe. At least seven countries have integrated food sovereignty into their constitutions or laws.

Indigenous peoples are especially affected by issues of food production and distribution. Climate change, cultural appropriation, and the disruption of foodways have negatively impacted the ability of indigenous peoples to access traditional food sources. Native Americans have been directly impacted in their ability to acquire and prepare their food and this disruption of traditional diets has resulted in health problems including diabetes and heart disease. Indigenous food sovereignty activists in the United States assert that the systematic displacement of indigenous communities has led to mass food insecurity. Activist groups advocate for revitalisation of traditional practices, development of local food economies, and seed saving/seed sovereignty.

Issues about food production, distribution and access are seldom apolitical or without criticism. For example, the Green Revolution has increased world food production but has not "solved" the problem of world hunger: food sovereignty advocates argue this is because the movement did not address access to land or distribution of economic power. Others argue that food sovereignty is based on incorrect baseline assumptions. Agrarian aspects of food sovereignty put the movement in conflict with globalisation, industrialisation, and urbanisation trends.

working on Cuvier's beaked whale

from another whale taxonomy section:

Taxonomy

The species was first described in 1908 by the American scientist Roy Chapman Andrews from a specimen collected at New Brighton Beach, Canterbury Province, New Zealand, in 1904. He named it in honor of George S. Bowdoin, a donor and trustee to the American Museum of Natural History.

adding lead for Botswana and the World Bank

Botswana, a landlocked country in southern Africa, became a member of the World Bank on July 24, 1968. Since shortly after Botswana gained independence in 1966, the World Bank has supported Botswana's economic growth and helped to consolidate the country's economic gains. Botswana continues to be an active participant in World Bank projects, including the Integrated Transport Project and the Emergency Water Security and Efficiency Project, both introduced in March 2017. The World Bank's Country Partnership Framework (CPF) for Botswana supports Botswana’s development goals by promoting private sector jobs, strengthening assets, and supporting effective resource management.

adding lead for Date and Time notation in Sweden

Date and time notation in Sweden mostly follows the ISO 8601 standard: dates are generally written in the form YYYY-MM-DD. Although this format may be abbreviated in a number of ways, almost all Swedish date notations state the month between the year and the day. Months are not capitalised when written. The week number may also be used in writing and in speech. Times are generally written using 24-hour clock notation, with full stops as separators, although 12-hour clock notation is more frequently used in speech.

adding lead for Women and Migration

Almost half of international migrants are women, generally travelling as either migrant workers or refugees. Women migrant workers migrate from developing countries to high-income countries to engage in paid employment, typically in gendered professions such as domestic work. Because their work disproportionately takes place in private homes, they are vulnerable to exploitation and abuse. Wages earned are largely sent home to the originating country to support the cost of living of the family left behind. Refugee women face multiple challenges including limited access to healthcare, discrimination, sexual violence, and risks of human trafficking. Mental and physical health are often affected as a result.

expanding lead for Cathedral of Saint Apostles Peter and Paul in Legnica

The Cathedral of Saint Apostles Peter and Paul in Legnica is located at Cathedral Square in the city of Legnica, Poland. The present building was erected between 1333 and 1380. A chapel was added in the fifteenth century, and in the late nineteenth century the church was converted into the neo-Gothic style. Over the centuries the church has acquired numerous statues and decorative features. Pope John Paul II established the church as a cathedral on March 25, 1992 and visited the cathedral on June 2, 1997. A gallery of photographs is included.

expanding lead for In Vivo

Currently: In Vivo is an EP by Loco Locass. Revised: In Vivo is an extended play (EP) musical recording by Loco Locass. The album, released in 2003, includes 6 tracks. The CD-ROM version of the recording includes 12 audio files and 6 video files. The genre of the music is rap, and the language is (Canadian) French.

expanding lead for Jesuit Church, Mannheim

Currently: The Mannheim Jesuit Church is a church in Mannheim, Germany. Revised: The Mannheim Jesuit Church is a Catholic church of historic and artistic importance in Mannheim, Germany. Church construction was begun in 1733 and completed in 1760. It was consecrated to St. Ignatius of Loyola and St. Francis Xavier. During the Second World War, the church suffered severe damage from air attacks; after the war it was rebuilt in its historical style using original parts. The church presents many Baroque features in its architecture, furniture, and bells. The exterior includes a twin towered facade, statues of the four cardinal virtues, and a 75 m high dome. The interior includes marble pilasters, a dome decorated with scenes from the life of the order's founder, and several organs. The most important sculpture is the 1747 "Crowned Silver Madonna." The Mannheim Baroque bell was cast in 1754, and recast in 1956 into five bells. In 1975 another two bells were cast. The bells are now distributed between the exterior two towers.

condensing lead for E. Kitch Childs

Ellen Kitch Childs (April 11, 1937 – January 10, 1993) was an American clinical psychologist and a lesbian activist known for her participation in the women's liberation movement in North America and for advocating for minority women, prostitutes, gays and lesbians. She was a founding member of the University of Chicago's Gay Liberation and the first African American woman to earn her doctorate degree in Human Development at the University of Chicago.

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move info below to main article ---------

Ellen Kitch Childs was born in 1937 in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, the youngest child in her family. Her older brothers included the jazz musician Kenny Clarke. As a young girl, she experienced racism and lost two of her brothers to racial violence. Childs received her B.S. degree in Chemistry at the University of Pittsburgh and subsequently served in the United States Navy.. She attended graduate school at the University of Chicago where she obtained a Masters degree and a Ph.D in Human Development in 1972. Childs was the first African American woman to earn her doctorate degree in Human Development at the University of Chicago.

Childs opened a private practice in Oakland, California, and was one of the first to conduct therapy sessions in her home and her clients' homes. She used a sliding-scale fee structure and provided free therapy sessions in communities that didn't have access to this service, with priority given to Black people, sex workers, people with AIDS, and people living in poverty. Childs was heavily invested in feminist therapy, and aimed to create a treatment model for therapy where her clients would feel included. In her client-therapist model she treated her clients on an equal level and made them feel comfortable. She was one of several notable women in psychology, including Phyllis Chesler and Dorothy Riddle, who co-founded the Association for Women in Psychology in 1969.

Childs advocated for the decriminalization of prostitution through her involvement the sex worker’s rights group COYOTE (Call Off Your Old Tired Ethics) and anti-racist social movements.. She was a founding member of the University of Chicago's Gay Liberation Chicago Lesbian Liberation. and, along with Vernita Gray and Michal Brody, co-founded the Women's Caucus of Chicago Gay Liberation, later re-named the Chicago Lesbian Liberation.

Childs was inducted into the Chicago LGBT Hall of Fame in 1993. This honor was given in recognition of her efforts to dismantle the American Psychiatric Association's position on homosexuality, which was listed as a psychological disorder in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders until 1973.

added lead for Dance in Malaysia

very short; also started a talk page.

Languages of Iran

Iran's ethnic diversity means that the languages of Iran come from a number of linguistic origins, although the primary language spoken and used is Persian. The Constitution of the Islamic Republic of Iran asserts that the Persian language alone must be used for schooling and for all official government communications. The constitution also recognizes Arabic as the language of Islam, and assigns it formal status as the language of religion. Although multilingualism is not encouraged, the use of minority languages is permitted in the course of teaching minority-language literature. Different publications have reported different statistics for the languages of Iran; however, the top three languages spoken are consistently reported as Persian, Azeri (Azerbaijani), and Kurd (Kurdish).

lead for Manigance

The heavy metal band Manigance was formed in France in 1995, with François Merle, Daniel Pouylau, and Didier Delsaux. Their first production was a six-track mini-album called Signe de vie, released by Brennus Music in 1997. This was followed by a studio album titled Ange ou démon, released by NTS in 2002. Manigance was awarded the honorary title of "Best French group 2003" by Hard Rock Magazine. The band continued to release new albums in 2004, 2006, 2011, 2014 and 2018. In March 2018 the band went on an extended European tour with the band Myrath. The current (2020) members of the band are Carine Pinto, François Merle, Lionel Vizerie, Stéphane Lacoude, and Patrick Soria.

lead for Medical school in Uganda -remove 'lead missing' template ~ mid july

As of 2021, 11 universities in Uganda offer medical schools. Admission to medical school requires the candidate to have attained a Uganda Advanced Certificate of Education (UACE) as well as proficiency in Biology or Zoology, Chemistry and Physics at A-level standards. Training leading to the degree of Bachelor of Medicine and Bachelor of Surgery (MBChB) lasts five years. Major examinations are conducted after the first, second and fifth year, with additional evaluations after each clinical rotation. After successful completion of the fifth year, candidates complete a year of internship under the supervision of specialists. Postgraduate training is available at Makerere University School of Medicine in a number of medical and surgical disciplines. The training takes three years and leads to the Master of Medicine (MMed) degree.

lead for NSW Women's Refuge Movement

suggest separating into 2 sections: Feminist beginnings, then Going Home, Staying Home reforms

The NSW Women's Refuge Movement began in 1974 with the establishment of Elsie Refuge in Glebe, NSW. Other refuges were established throughout the 1970s, operating within a feminist framework and responding to the needs of women and children escaping domestic violence. At first, the refuges were developed through volunteer effort and without government funding. Gradually the government took over funding of the refuges, with the states funding the buildings and the federal government funding the running costs. The NSW Women's Refuge Movement continued to provide services to women with diverse needs and raise awareness about domestic violence.

However, meeting administrative costs continued to be a struggle and the NSW Women's Refuge Movement was effectively dismantled by the NSW Government's 'Going Home, Staying Home' reforms in 2014. The majority of refuges were adapted to accommodate a range of homeless clients, which resulted in them being less suitable for women and children fleeing domestic violence. Existing services were put out to tender and the agencies who then undertook management were often religious charities who did not necessarily share the feminist framework originally established by the NSW Women's Refuge Movement.

adding lead for Apothecaries' Hall of Ireland

• Two guilds: St Mary Magdalene & St Luke
• Both in Dublin
• Origins of guilds
• Current state/physical location/patronage

The Apothecaries' Hall of Ireland was established in 1791 and remains one of only two extant successors of a medieval Dublin guild. Medieval apothecaries in Dublin were first organized as members of Guild of Barbers, Surgeons, Apothecaries and Periwigmakers, with St Mary Magdelene as the patron saint. In 1747, Apothecaries formed their own guild, with St Luke as the patron. In 1791, the Company of Apothecaries’ Hall was formed for the purpose of building a Hall and regulating practitioners. Although the Company ceased licensing doctors in 1971, it continues to exist as a charitable organisation. The Company of Apothecaries’ Hall is now hosted by and shares premises with the Royal College of Physicians of Ireland on Kildare Street, Dublin.

adding lead for Armorial of local councils in Scotland

• armorial is a collection of coats of arms (link)
• 4 kinds of councils: Regional, Island, City District, Other.
• dates mentioned: 1973 - 1995/6
• Heralds for Regional Councils all follow a particular template.
• all include a stylised description (Escutcheon: link to this - like a shield or tabard) in some archaic language
• all also include a Dexter supporter.
• some also include a Motto (generally in Latin)

The Armorial of local councils in Scotland lists 46 heraldic coats of arms organised according to type of council, whether Regional, Island, City District, or Other. Each entry includes the name of the geographic area represented and an Escutcheon (description in highly stylised heraldic language). Many entries include a mention of the shield supporter(s) and an image of the herald; some include a motto.

lead for Church of the Covenant (NYC)

The Church of the Covenant, often referred to as "the church of the United Nations" due to its proximity to the UN Plaza, is an historic century-and-a-half church located on 42nd Street in New York City. The original Church of the Covenant was founded in 1860 by the Rev. Dr. George L. Prentiss. In 1870, the Church established a mission called Covenant Chapel, which grew and eventually become self-supporting and stronger than the founding Church. In 1893 the name "Church of the Covenant" was transferred to Covenant Chapel, while the remaining members of the original church group merged with the Brick Church (another historic New York church). In 1947, the Adams-Parkhurst Presbyterian Church merged into the Church of the Covenant.

lead for Effects of estrogen on schizophrenia

An increase in symptoms of schizophrenia has been observed to correspond with decreasing levels of estrogen in menopausal women. This observation has led researchers to propose a link between estrogen and schizophrenia. While the first onset of schizophrenia generally occurs between the ages of 20-25 for men, first onset occurs approximately 5 years later for women, with a second peak (late onset schizophrenia) between the ages of 40 to 45. Animal studies suggest that estrogen acts as a barrier to dopamine receptors, and so may prevent the increase in dopamine found in patients with schizophrenia. However, in contradictory studies, estrogen either increased or decreased dopamine receptors, depending on the duration of the experiment.

When estrogen levels are low, women are more susceptible and respond poorly to anti-psychotic drugs. Consequently estrogen is often used to treat schizophrenia in women. Studies show that estrogen patches can reduce the positive symptoms of schizophrenia (at least in the short term). Researchers believe that estrogen could also be used to treat this disease in men.

lead for Influence of childhood trauma in psychopathy

The influence of childhood trauma on the development of psychopathology in adulthood remains an active research question. According to Hervey M. Cleckley, a psychopathic person is someone who is able to imitate a normal functioning person, while masking or concealing their lack of internal personality structure. This results in an internal disorder with recurrent deliberate and detrimental conduct. Despite presenting themselves as serious, bright, and charming, psychopathic people are unable to experience true emotions. Robert Hare's two factor model and Christopher Patrick's triarchic model have both been developed to better understand psychopathology; however, whether the root cause is primarily environmental or primarily genetic is still in question.

Although there exists no proven correlation between traumatic childhood experiences and psychopathy, a history of childhood trauma does show some relation with both psychopathic traits and inhibition of altruistic attitudes. Parental behaviors such as rejection, abuse, neglect or over protection show some relationship with the development of detrimental psychopathic traits. Some gender differences have been observed: for example, males may exhibit a stronger association between boldness and childhood neglect, as well as between meanness and childhood maltreatment.

lead for Career Colleges in Ontario

Career Colleges Ontario (CCO) is a non-profit organization providing advocacy, services, and resources for member career colleges in the province of Ontario, Canada. The organization regularly meets with the Ministry of Colleges and Universities to keep members up-to-date on regulatory matters and to highlight the value of career colleges to Ontario's post-secondary education framework. Services provided by the CCO include transcript storage, an annual conference, and workshops on an as-needed basis.

Note that this article does not include a list of specific career colleges in Ontario.

further to-do (missing leads):

State Employment Service (Azerbaijan)

Working with lead sections

Here's a list of pages needing lead section.

Or any of the pages without a lead section: [2], i.e. pages with (2 squiggly brackets)Lead missing|date=December 2020(2 squiggly brackets) at the top in editing view.

Article length	Lead length
Fewer than 15,000 characters	One or two paragraphs
15,000–30,000 characters	Two or three paragraphs
More than 30,000 characters	Three or four paragraphs

Others:

• Nicolas Vincent needs some work, both in French (needs refs) & English (needs more translation). Check the talk pages first. Wikimedia Canada identifies it in facebook post on April 11 2022.
• Korean folk games: [[3]]
• Here's one to try: asparagus virus 1
• The Walrus magazine wants a longer lead
• high- & low-context cultures: one paragraph needs CE work

This one sure needs work (in Wikibooks) [4]