Talk:Tomb Raider: Legend/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: TheJoebro64 (talk · contribs) 19:07, 11 August 2018 (UTC)

Never played a Tomb Raider game before, so I think I'll enjoy this. Expect comments within a few days. JOEBRO64 19:07, 11 August 2018 (UTC)

Infobox/Lead  Done

• The infobox lists four writers. Per the syntax guide, the maximum amount of writers to list is three.
• Tomb Raider: Legend is an action-adventure video game—"video game" in this context is tautological; all action-adventure games are video games.
• I'd link to reboot (fiction) when you mention this is "a franchise reboot that reimagined the origins and character of series protagonist Lara Croft."
• I'd also mention somewhere it was rereleased on the PS3 in 2011 as part of a compilation.
• Reception of the game was generally positive—phrases like this read awkward IMO. Saying something like "The game received generally positive reviews" is much more direct and understandable.
• Link to video game remake when you mention "the remake Anniversary"
• Overall, I feel like the lead is a bit short given the length of the article. Most articles I've seen that are similar size, like Sonic Adventure (a FA) and Halo 4 (a GA), have at least three, maybe even four, paragraphs in the lead. This isn't necessarily a big deal, I just wanted to point it out.

Gameplay  Done

• Why is "action adventure game" piped to leave "game" out of the link?
• where the player controls the protagonist—I think "in which" would make more sense here instead of "where"
• I'd link to level (video gaming) when you mention "levels"
• Different combinations can create more moves such as a roll and swan dive. Combinations of what? Button combinations? Move combinations?
• Link to multiplayer when you mention it in the fourth paragraph
• Link to sprite (computer graphics) when you talk about the DS version's gameplay
• players use the DS's touchscreen and mic functions—"mic" is colloquial (WP:TONE)
• I'd link to side-scrolling video game when you mention that the GBA version "is a 2D side-scroller"

Synopsis  Done

• Lara Croft is already wikilinked in gameplay, linking it here is WP:OVERLINKing.
• The plot is over the recommended 700 word limit, might need a little trimming and/or copyediting.
  • It's now down to 698 words. --ProtoDrake (talk) 13:14, 14 August 2018 (UTC)
• No other comments here, pretty well-written. I don't know anything about Tomb Raider and could understand it.

Development  Done

• The game was a critical failure due to its technical issues—"issue" is a euphemism for "problems"
• and blamed for the commercial failure of The Cradle of Life by the movie's distributors—I'd change "the movie's distributors" to Paramount Pictures
• Legend used a unique game engine—the game still exists; "used" should be changed to "use"
• Also, you mention the game engine is "unique" but is still based on technology from another game, which seems contradictory
• I'd link to reboot (fiction) when you mention "The team decided to reboot the series timeline"

Release and versions  Done

• Legend was officially announced in April 2005. In cases like this "official" is unnecessary, people won't assume it was unofficially announced.
• In the second paragraph, you don't need to say "Microsoft" in "Microsoft Windows". You've already mentioned it before so people will know what Windows you're talking about.

Reception  Done

• According to this discussion, general consensus is not to use the multiple platforms version of {{video game reviews}} because it takes up too much space and looks ugly compared to the normal one.
• Upon its launch, Tomb Raider: Legend received widespread critical acclaim. Two problems here. First, "Upon its launch" is pointless because most, if not all reviews are published when the game is released. Second, "widespread critical acclaim" is hyperbolic—the MC scores don't support this, and most scores are barely above 8/10.
• I feel like most of the claims in the second paragraph should be sourced individually rather than clumped up at the end of the paragraph
• There's another "issues" in the third paragraph
• Link to IGN
• In sales, "bestselling" does not need a hyphen
• Within a month of its release, all versions of the game had sold 2.9 million copies by the end of June 2006. This can read as saying each individual version sold 2.9 million copies. I'm fairly certain this is for all platforms combined, so some clarification is needed.

Legacy  Done

• Link to video game remake when you mention that "Crystal Dynamics remade the original game"
• Legend was remastered by Buzz Monkey Software and re-released—rerelease does not need a hyphen
• Link to spin-off (media) when you mention the "Lara Croft spin-off series"

Referencing

• Looks good

Misc.

• Non-free images have appropriate licensing.
• I'd add ALT text to the images

12:03, 13 August 2018 (UTC)

@ProtoDrake: sorry I took so long on this. Nice work. JOEBRO64 18:49, 15 August 2018 (UTC)

@TheJoebro64: I've done my best to address all the issues above. --ProtoDrake (talk) 19:48, 15 August 2018 (UTC)

Alright looks cool. Passing. JOEBRO64 15:59, 16 August 2018 (UTC)