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@Nidaana: Particles are usually put seperate from the words when romanizing. Since there are no secondary English secondary sources discussing the topic, I used the standard romanization rules since MOS:JPCOM is not detailed on these kind of cases. I have no strong preference over either, though. IanTEB (talk) 16:53, 25 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Is this synthesizer or analog synthesizer? Either way, please wikilink to itself and also change string section to string arrangement per the body.
Done. Hoshino says he envisioned an analog synth but the credits only says synthesizer
"Japanese or Asian sound on an album with heavy influence" → "Japanese sound on an album with heavy influences" per the body
Done
"of Yellow Dancer, with praise towards its" → "of Yellow Dancer by music critics, who praised its" with the pipe
Changed to "album reviewers" if that works; also re-worded a bit
Mention that the certification was in Japan and swap the order of this so the chart position is first, also use "the song" at the start of this sentence instead
Done but is specifying the Recording Industry Association of Japan not enough to indicate region?
"The music video, directed by" → "An accompanying music video was directed by" to make the direction and filming location one sentence, as it is too much of a run-on at the moment and add the wikilink
Done
"features Hoshino dressed as" → "It features Hoshino dressed as"
"the full track listing October 28." → "the full track listing on October 28."
Done
"passing of time and the strength and" → "passing of time, as well as the strength and"
Done
Per MOS:LINKSTYLE, should stringed really be linked here when you provide the link to string arrangement later and there is two links surrounding it here?
WP:NOTBROKEN allows for these types of unpiped links
"he thought unconsciously influenced the lyrics on "Tokiyo";" → "he thought was an unconscious influence," and change the following part to "such as the usage of the word 赤ちゃん (aka-chan, lit. "baby" or "infant") in the second verse" as this is too extensive currently
Trimmed down. Hope this satisfies. I also changed the formating of Japanese words, and shortened the last sentence about "bye-bye"
Unless I am missing something from the translation, the line listed from the third verse is not sourced
Looking at the source, I imagine it's difficult to verify with a translator but I think it satisfies. Hoshino mentions the line when talking about the influence from Dr. Storks (それも自分では凄く面白かった。あと個人的には3番の＜夕立に濡れた君を＞っていう歌詞ができた時に、もらった！と思って). The interviewer remarks the use of kigo and Hoshino clarifies that evening shower (夕立) reprents summer.
[6] should be invoked at the end of each sentence using a direct quote in double speech marks
Done, though I didn't know this applied to lyrics as well
"An ensemble of ten conducted" → "An ensemble of 10 conducted" per MOS:NUM
Wouldn't this be passable under MOS:NUMERAL, which states that "integers greater than nine expressible in one or two words may be expressed either in numerals or in words"?
The upbeat part is not sourced; cite the Tower Records Japan ref here for this
The Barks music video article says "upper tune" which I would interpret as upbeat but I've added your source suggestion as well. I've also reformed the Tower source since it was actually for their magazine Tower Plus
"provided a different taste to" → "provided a different perspective of"
Done
"Tower Plus' Sadahiro noted the lyrics' allusion" → "Sadahiro noted the lyrics' allusion" although the contrasting lyrics themselves don't appear to be sourced
Done
"with focus on synthizer." → "with focus on a synthesizer."
I've kept the section but expanded it to two paragraphs using critic opinions from the Reception section. I hope this suffices for a standalone section now
@Kyle Peake: Sorry for all the issues; I think I've fixed everything up! Truth to be told, I wasn't super happy with this article but I think your comments have really brought some improvement. Thanks, and let me know if there's anything else that needs fixing! IanTEB (talk) 23:08, 4 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]
are unassessed)
Done
On hold until all of the issues are fixed; this was a solid article to review good luck! --K. Peake 20:24, 4 August 2024 (UTC)