Talk:Sunda Straits Crisis/GA1
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I'll take this one. Reviewer: Chiswick Chap (talk · contribs) 18:32, 3 April 2017 (UTC)
Comments
[edit]I'll say at once that this is an impressively well-written article (with a particularly clear summary in the lead), and few signs of anything that needs fixing, so I expect my comments will be few and simple. Chiswick Chap (talk) 18:32, 3 April 2017 (UTC)
I'd suggest additional wikilinks in image captions: Sunda Strait (also in lead), Java, Sumatra, President Sukarno, Konfrontasi (also in text), HMS Victorious, Subandrio.- Done.
A few terms could usefully be wikilinked in the main text, e.g. Lombok Strait.- Done (Imperialist, Carrier Group, etc).
A few glosses would be welcome, e.g. Lord Antony Head is introduced without explanation, and we're not told what role R.A. Butler had at that moment.- I've added the roles of both.
When did Ramsay Macdonald call the project the 'Grand Design', and was it when he was PM?- My sincere apologies, it was supposed to be Malcolm McDonald. Anyhow, it was at some point during the 1950s.
- Aha.
Who was the Tunku of Malaysia at the time? It might also be worth glossing the term, say as "(prince)".- It was Abdul Rahman, in fact, the Prime Minister to whom my source seems to refer to. I've changed this in the text.
I'm unsure about the use of "Confrontation" with a capital. If as it seems it's a translation of Konfrontasi then the latter would seem to be the better, more specific term?- Most of the sources I have read, including primary-source British ones, talk about the Confrontation like such, and seem to use it interchangeably with the policy and also with the conflict. I would prefer to leave it, but I will change it if you feel it is necessary.
- OK.
"too powerful an asset to lose" -> "too valuable an asset to lose".- Done.
"in retaliation to" -> "in retaliation for"- Done.
"equally if not more valid than" doesn't quite work, we can't say "equally valid than". Suggest "equally as valid, if not more than".Done.
"the subsequent Indonesian United Nations defeat" should either be wikilinked or briefly explained and dated.- I was actually referring the near-condemnation of Indonesia in the UN, mentioned in the 1st paragraph of 'Aftermath.'
"the closest point to which the Indonesia-Malaysia confrontation came to total war" -> "the closest the Indonesia-Malaysia confrontation came to total war".- Done.
Images
[edit]The Peter Thorneycroft image is non-free. I rather doubt that's ok here, but if you wish to try your luck you at least need an NFUR under the image on Commons: otherwise, please remove the image.- I have removed the image, after finding no adequate substitute. Anyway, thank you for your thoughtful review, your help is much appreciated. Regards, Herodotus (talk) 00:43, 4 April 2017 (UTC)
Many thanks. Chiswick Chap (talk) 07:30, 4 April 2017 (UTC)
Summary
[edit]This is an elegantly-constructed article well up to the required standard and I'm happy to pass it as a GA. I wish you the best of luck with it at FAC if that's where you're headed. Chiswick Chap (talk) 08:27, 4 April 2017 (UTC)