Talk:Robert Hughes (Royal Navy officer, died 1729)

Robert Hughes (Royal Navy officer, died 1729) has been listed as one of the Warfare good articles under the good article criteria. If you can improve it further, please do so. If it no longer meets these criteria, you can reassess it.
Review: July 16, 2023. (Reviewed version).

Biography: Military

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Military history: Biography / Maritime / British / European / Early Modern

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GA Review

This review is transcluded from Talk:Robert Hughes (Royal Navy officer, died 1729)/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Zawed (talk · contribs) 22:51, 1 July 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Pulling up my seat for this one, comments to follow in due course. Zawed (talk) 22:51, 1 July 2023 (UTC)[reply]

@Zawed: No rush here, just pinging in case this has slipped past you. Pickersgill-Cunliffe (talk) 12:37, 9 July 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Into this now:

Infobox: should England not be added to places of death and burial?

Done.

Hughes also joined the navy, and with the Nine Years' War ongoing was...: I think comma misplaced here, should it be: "Hughes also joined the navy and, with the Nine Years' War ongoing, was..."?

Done.

Is there a link for "second lieutenant" like there is for "first lieutenant"

Not that I'm aware. There should be!

Hughes was at an undefined point after this promoted to commander, before on 28 June 1697 he was advanced to captain.: this may be a consequence trying avoid hewing too closely to the source, but not crazy about the phrasing. Assuming it is sufficiently far away from the source, how about: "Sometime after this, Hughes was promoted to commander before, on 28 June 1697, being advanced in rank to captain."?

Done.

At the same time as his promotion...": because preceding sentence refers to two promotions, suggest "At the same time as his promotion to captain"

Done.

In the following year...: suggest "The following year..." because the "In" doesn't seem to work/flow for me. Note that there are two instances of this usage in the article

Changed.

...also serving in the Channel, the flagship of Rear-Admiral Sir Thomas Hardy.: suggest "also serving in the Channel, but as the flagship of Rear-Admiral Sir Thomas Hardy."

Rejigged.

Add HMS Hampton Court to list of ships commanded in infobox

Done, good catch.

Unfortunately a bit light on detail at times, which I take is a reflection of the sources. Is there nothing to indicate his age at the time of death? Is there a photo of his momument; I found an image of James Sayer's monument which gave an age, perhaps the one for Hughes does as well?

Not that I could find.

Sources a mixture of very old and recent, but look to be published by reputable publishers. I would have been concerned about the Charnock ref if not for the republication by Cambridge University Press.
Image tag OK
No dupe links

That's it for me. Zawed (talk) 03:55, 14 July 2023 (UTC)[reply]

@Zawed: Hi, thanks for taking a look at this! My responses are above. Pickersgill-Cunliffe (talk) 12:34, 15 July 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Looks fine, passing as GA now. Cheers, Zawed (talk) 10:27, 16 July 2023 (UTC)[reply]