Talk:My Body, the Hand Grenade/GA1

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: MarioSoulTruthFan (talk · contribs) 14:51, 6 July 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Infobox

Alternative rock needs to be cited in the body of the article. For the genres, I would rather add them on the composition section or critical reception section.

Done

Lead

"released on October 28, 1997[1]" → should be added to the release section along with the source. Afterward, remove the source from here.
the tracks feature various bassists and drummers from past lineups → give one example for each
Add some critical reception and some parts of the composition section.

Done

Background and recording

My Body, the Hand Grenade is the only compilation album to be released by Hole. → My Body, the Hand Grenade is the first and only compilation album to be released by Hole.
"Phonebill Song," "Johnnie's in the Bathroom," → comma after the parenthesis.
Additionally, numerous singles and their respective b-sides appear on the album, including "Dicknail" and "Beautiful Son." → Additionally, numerous singles, including "Dicknail" and "Beautiful Son", and their respective b-sides appear on the album.
also appears on the album. → also appears on the record. (variety of vocabulary)
live Nirvana is not a reliable source → remove it or replace it with another source, more reliable. Otherwise, remove it along with the information present in there.
One paragraph with one sentence is strange, merge it with the last paragraph.

Done

Composition

by Courtney Love and Eric Erlandson, except "Retard Girl", which was written by Love alone; → Retarded Girl is not on citation given.
Erlandson and Patty Schemel → add a quote saying that the song title needs to be put on the enter text section there.
"It was later revealed that a version of the song was recorded by Nirvana during the Nevermind (1991) recording sessions, but Cobain threw the song out, later giving the melody to Love, who rearranged musical pieces and rewrote the lyrics." → source?
Merge the las two paragraphs.

Done

Release

Fine.

Reception

"Well, I didn't ask for Hole's new album, but I got it anyway. And you? What do you want in your ripped black fishnet stocking this Christmas season? While not answering that question, dear reader, also don't answer me this: Why is it that My Body, the Hand Grenade makes me want to sit down and pick up my knitting ... → use more often your own words, this is quite a big quote.
"Courtney [Love] makes the astonishing leap from singing tipsily to sounding, frankly, completely drunk. Damned sloppy stuff it is, too. Hole may have always had more class than any green-haired rock chick peers such as L7, Babes in Toyland or the Lunachicks ... yet they strived wholeheartedly to undermine any unwanted West Coast sophistication by adopting the brashest of trash aesthetics ... while this experience may well be tremendously cathartic for Courtney (the sleeve, curiously enough, features a Love-patented baby doll dress in a glass cabinet) it gives everyone else a headache → same as previous but with more emphasis this time.
You don't need these many paragraphs, join the last one with the NME review.
In the beginning of the second paragraph, you should have a sentence like "The album was met with positive to mixed reviews from music critics" + link music critics to music journalism.

@MarioSoulTruthFan: unsure of what you mean by the last part ("link music critics to music journalism")

@Drown Soda: music critics. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 11:26, 13 July 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Done

Packaging and artwork

RS source doesn't talk about Anne Boleyn.

Done

Track listing

You have some redirects on track 1,9 and 11 but that's not only minor but also picky on my part.

Done

Personnel

Use {{spaced ndash}} instead of "-".
Forgot this but use the inlay notes to say where did you got the credits from.

Done

Charts

Use charts table.

Done

Notes

Fine.

References

Sources 5 and 7 are dead, replace it with working archives or other sources.

Done

Works cited

Fine

External links

You really don't need this, is just Overlink in my opinion as you have already used it in the critical reception.

Done

Overall GA review

@Drown Soda: Sorry for the delay, all done, very small fixes. Good luck, on hold for seven days.

@MarioSoulTruthFan: I've addressed your comments above and made changes, including replacing some sources and rephrasing, etc. I'm not sure which certification table you are referring to for the Charts section--I based this off of other Wiki pages, but if you could direct me to the proper table for this, that'd be great. Thanks much. --Drown Soda (talk) 23:51, 11 July 2017 (UTC)[reply]

@Drown Soda: [1]. You also missed a couple of things take another look. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 12:03, 12 July 2017 (UTC)[reply]

@MarioSoulTruthFan: I'm about to make the edits I missed the first run-through, but I cannot for the life of me make the Album chart template work properly. I've tried to do so with the manual citation method but the table does not show properly when I do it. Maybe I am missing something? --Drown Soda (talk) 00:49, 13 July 2017 (UTC)[reply]

@Drown Soda: I did it for you, were you using the table? I forgot something in the personnel section, my bad. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 11:22, 13 July 2017 (UTC)[reply]

@MarioSoulTruthFan: thanks, I for whatever reason couldn't get the template to work—looks good. As for the RS source on Anne Boleyn, I had already moved that one to apply to the Marie Antoinette art, and referenced the album liner notes themselves for the Anne Boleyn portrait. --Drown Soda (talk) 05:52, 14 July 2017 (UTC)[reply]

@Drown Soda: well done, just one thing I couldn't get the reference from the UK charts to make a link to the body of the article, no need for two links with the same information as it is right now. Could you please make that? I tried, but I as well for whatever reason was not able to do so. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 13:21, 14 July 2017 (UTC)[reply]

@MarioSoulTruthFan: I tried to do this as well by changing the refname in the table and it doesn't want to connect the two references—is there a bypass for this? --Drown Soda (talk) 14:57, 14 July 2017 (UTC)[reply]

You need to remove the manual part from the table. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 19:00, 15 July 2017 (UTC)[reply]