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Talk:March of the Iron Will

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Citation needed tags on a GA nomination

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G'day, a bunch of "citation needed" tags is going to be a quickfail in a GA review. I suggest interested editors add citations for the uncited material before someone decides to review it and it gets failed. Alternatively, withdraw the GA nom. Cheers, Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 06:22, 9 December 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Unencylopedic tone?

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Generally speaking, this article seems to have a pretty unencyclopedic tone to me. It reads almost like a "historic novelization" throughout much of it, with all sorts of florid adjectives and purple prose and whatnot. Here are some specific instances that especially stood out to me (but it feels this way in general to me, not just with these specifics):

  • While the poorly equipped Ethiopians experienced some success against the more modern weaponry of the Italians, they did not understand the "terrible rain that burned and killed."
  • Except for a pitiful procession of refugees, the road to the capital was clear.
  • Badoglio risked a spectacular advance with a "mechanized column" for propaganda purposes.
  • Thanks to the organizational genius of a Quartermaster-General Fidenzio Dall'Ora,
  • Special vehicles carried 193 horses so that when the column arrived at the gates of Addis Ababa, the Marshal and his staff could leave their cars and ride in triumph on horseback.
  • To the gathering throng, he said, "Ethiopia, will fight until the last soldier and the last inch! Let every man who is not wounded or sick take arms and enough food to last five days and march north to fight the invader!" The crowd roared back to their Emperor: "We will go!"
  • With this, five thousand men, bravest remnant of the old Imperial Guard, shouldered their rifles again and marched away.
  • Forgetting the raw gas burns on his own arm, Haile Selassie retired into his Palace for a final conference with his chieftains.
  • Initially his bearded chiefs said nothing at all.
  • This army was pitted against General Rodolfo Graziani's relentless advance on Harar.
  • After his somber meeting with his chieftains
  • He spoke softly to Sir Sidney but to the point.
  • Haile Selassie drove away, his mouth grim with disappointment.
  • Only the dregs of Ethiopia's soldiery were left behind in the doomed capital.
  • A few loyal employees tried to save the remnant of Emperor's gold with machine guns, but sword-swinging looters rushed them and cut off their hands as they clung to their guns.
  • After the cheering, Badoglio turned to a senior member of the Italian Royal Air Force and said: "We've done it! We've won!"
  • Significantly, the march was completed in only ten days across difficult terrain and in bad weather. It was an achievement that demonstrated the offensive potential of motorized forces in securing bold advances.
  • Alessandri politely explained to each envoy that they would enjoy "every diplomatic privilege until the time of your departure."

I'm not sure if I'm just overreacting, and in any case I don't really know what, if anything, is supposed to be done in cases like this, so I'm just writing this here on the talk page, and will soon add a "tone" template to the article. -- Rwv37 (talk) 03:34, 5 May 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Part of this has to do with the reliance on the old Time magazine articles, which read in this dramatic, sensationalist, and occasionally racist fashion (I read a few of them back in the day). -Indy beetle (talk) 04:28, 5 May 2021 (UTC)[reply]
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