Talk:Malouma/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Jaguar (talk · contribs) 17:45, 22 January 2016 (UTC)

As requested, I'll take this on. Will leave some comments soon. JAGUAR  17:45, 22 January 2016 (UTC)

Initial comments

• "Her fourth album, Knou (2014) once again includes lyrics expressing her views" - why use 'once again' here?

 Done SusunW (talk) 01:46, 23 January 2016 (UTC)

• "Side-by-side with her singing" - maybe try Alongside her singing, but feel free to ignore this

 Done SusunW (talk) 01:46, 23 January 2016 (UTC)

• "she grew up in the little village of Charatt" - I'd remove 'little', sounds informal. Or replace it with 'small'

 Done SusunW (talk) 01:46, 23 January 2016 (UTC)

• "was a celebrated singer, tidinet player and poet" - though I know there's a reason (and I'm probably wrong), but why are instruments italicised here? I don't see them italicised in their articles. Same goes with ardin

@Ipigott, Megalibrarygirl, 1bandsaw, and Rosiestep: can someone answer this one? I don't know and am unsure if the words are italicized as "foreign" words or if that is traditional and if it is, then we need to italicize the words throughout. SusunW (talk) 01:57, 23 January 2016 (UTC)

I thought we italicized them because they were foreign words. Megalibrarygirl (talk) 02:09, 23 January 2016 (UTC)

I'm down with that Megalibrarygirl. I just tried to search both in dictionary.com and get no results. Thus, it seems logical that they are foreign words. Question is then, what is WP's manner of style? And if it is italics, then they should be italicized throughout. SusunW (talk) 03:50, 23 January 2016 (UTC)

Okay Wikipedia:Manual of Style/Text formatting#Foreign terms says italicize if not in Merriam-Webster. Checked there too and they are not. So...going to italicize throughout. SusunW (talk) 03:57, 23 January 2016 (UTC)

Comment: At one point I actually removed the italics on tidinet as it seems to be the accepted term in English. Indeed, there are now Wikipedia articles on both tidinet and ardin and I noticed tidinet was not in italics here. So finally I think this must remain an open question unless we can find advice elsewhere.--Ipigott (talk) 08:02, 23 January 2016 (UTC)

• "is remembered as a talented writer and tidinet virtuoso" - tidinet is not italicised here

 Done corrected so that it is italicized. See above, per MOS words not in Merriam-Webster should be italicized as foreign. SusunW (talk) 04:01, 23 January 2016 (UTC)

• "and worked with her on her second album, Dunya (meaning Life)" - remove 'meaning', translations in brackets usually come without denotations

 Done SusunW (talk) 01:49, 23 January 2016 (UTC)

• "she no longer felt she could keep up her political fight for democracy although she would continue to support cultural and environmental causes" - comma needed before 'democracy' and 'although'

 Done SusunW (talk) 01:52, 23 January 2016 (UTC)

• "the 2012 IUCN World Conservation Congress held on Jeju Island, Republic of Korea" - South Korea

 Done SusunW (talk) 01:52, 23 January 2016 (UTC)

• "which was aimed at eliminating slums in the country" - Mauritania, to be more specific

 Done SusunW (talk) 01:52, 23 January 2016 (UTC)

• "That same year, N'Diaye Cheikh, a Mauritanian filmmaker produced a documentary about her, entitled Malouma" - comma needed in between 'filmmaker' and 'produced'

 Done SusunW (talk) 01:54, 23 January 2016 (UTC)

• "2003, Dunya (meaning Life)" and "2007, Nour (meaning Light)" - could do without the 'meanings', but it's up to you

 Done SusunW (talk) 01:49, 23 January 2016 (UTC)

• No dead links

An excellent article! I enjoyed reading through it. It is comprehensive, well written and well referenced, so I couldn't find many issues with it. She sounds like a very influential person. A GA would surely be another honour to her legacy. JAGUAR  23:02, 22 January 2016 (UTC)

Jaguar Thank you for your review. We will address the items as quickly as possible. SusunW (talk) 01:54, 23 January 2016 (UTC)

Jaguar I think we have answered all of your issues. Please see the discussion on italics. If you have anything else, please let us know. SusunW (talk) 04:01, 23 January 2016 (UTC)

Great job guys, I'm satisifed with the changes that have been made now, virtually all my points seems to have been covered. It's passable.♦ Dr. Blofeld 10:49, 24 January 2016 (UTC)

Thanks for clearing all of that up! With the secondary review moved to the talk page, I think it's safe to say that this article definitely meets the criteria. Well done JAGUAR  13:53, 24 January 2016 (UTC)