Talk:Lachie Hunter
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Lachie Hunter has been listed as one of the Sports and recreation good articles under the good article criteria. If you can improve it further, please do so. If it no longer meets these criteria, you can reassess it. Review: July 26, 2021. (Reviewed version). |
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GA Review
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Reviewing |
- This review is transcluded from Talk:Lachie Hunter/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: Harper J. Cole (talk · contribs) 15:40, 26 July 2021 (UTC)
I'll take on this review, as part of the July 2021 Backlog Drive.
Lead
[edit]- Hunter is described as an outside midfielder or wingman who can also play as a half-forward. His infobox lists his position as "Wingman / Forward". Should the infobox also include midfielder?
- Done - Good pickup there, I've added that in. Doggo375 (talk) 22:30, 26 July 2021 (UTC)
- Wikilink best and fairest.
- Done - And wikilinked to this in other paragraphs where this occurs. Doggo375 (talk) 22:30, 26 July 2021 (UTC)
Early life
[edit]- I think strictly speaking "née" should include the accent above the first e.
- [the team's 96 point demolition against Tasmania] --> "the team's 96-point demolition of Tasmania"
- Mark Hunter is wikilinked twice in one section (once is enough).
2013-2015: Early career
[edit]- Wikilink interchange.
- [the Bulldogs' 4 and 28 point victories] --> "the Bulldogs' 4- and 28-point victories"
- Done
- Wikilink Mark of the Year.
- Done
- [65 point loss] --> "65-point loss" I think this is the conventional way to write it, based on a search of articles online. If you agree, I'd suggest doing ctrl+f and searching for "point", then putting hyphens in for the other instances of point margins being mentioned.
- Done - I think that's the best way to go about it. Doggo375 (talk) 22:49, 26 July 2021 (UTC)
- Wikilink guernsey.
- [Hunter received a club imposed ban] --> "Hunter received a club-imposed ban"
- [he quickly became a ball magnet] A bit informal for Wikipedia. How about "he quickly saw much more of the ball", or "he quickly became central to his team's efforts"?
- Wikilink best on ground.
2016-2019: Breakout
[edit]- [16 point loss loss] Duplicated word.
- [saw Hunter go to hospital after the game] Add, "...with concussion-like symptoms".
- [He also had good games in rounds 11 and 2] For clarity, I think this should be put in chronological order ("2 and 11"). Swap the disposal stats and the citations as well if you agree.
- Done - Definitely agree with you on this one, I'm not quite sure what I was thinking at the time but it is confusing. Switched. Doggo375 (talk) 22:49, 26 July 2021 (UTC)
- Wikilink Brownlow
- [collected 26 disposals took 6 marks and had 4 inside-50s] Comma after "disposals".
- [He also had a similarly good game] You can drop the word "also" (as "similarly" already gives this meaning).
- [The 2018 AFL season saw Hunter had one of his best seasons yet] --> "The 2018 AFL season saw Hunter have one of his best seasons yet"
- [getting named in the Bulldogs best for the game] Possessive apostrophe for Bulldogs'.
- [the Top 10 of the Best and Fairest voting] In other mentions, "best and fairest" has had a small b and a small f.
- Marcus Bontempelli only needs to be wikilinked the first time he appears in this section (he's currently wikilinked all four times).
2020-2021: Struggles and injury
[edit]- [with drink-driving offences and personal issues pushing him out of the team, for a total of just 10 games]. Could cause confusion, as it sort of reads like he's pushed out of the team for 10 games, whereas I think the meaning is that he plays 10 games? How about, "... reducing him to a total of just 10 games..."?
- Done - Another good find there, I didn't realise it could be read the other way when I first wrote that. Doggo375 (talk) 23:01, 26 July 2021 (UTC)
- [Hunter only vice-captained the Bulldogs' for one game] No possessive apostrophe for Bulldogs here.
- [after pulling his jumper to the broadcast of the game when kicking a goal] A little hard to follow (though I understand what you're saying). Also, having taken a look at the video, it looks like the jumper-pulling followed the goal, so how about, "...after grabbing his Bulldogs jumper in celebration at kicking a goal..."?
- [Bulldogs' season-defining 5-goal win win over Fremantle] Duplicate word.
- [He was decided as the second best player] --> "He was named the second best player"
- Worth mentioning that their win vs Fremantle was to get into the playoffs?
Summary
[edit]- That covers it - again, pretty minor fixes here. It's also worth noting that my limited knowledge of Australian Rules football might lead me to make mistakes. I'll await your response to the above.--Harper J. Cole (talk) 18:20, 26 July 2021 (UTC)
- @Harper J. Cole: Thanks very much for the quick review! Everything should be just about done, so let me know if there is anything else to fix up. Doggo375 (talk) 23:04, 26 July 2021 (UTC)
- Looking good! I'll promote the article to GA status. Thanks again for the interesting read,--Harper J. Cole (talk) 23:39, 26 July 2021 (UTC)
- @Harper J. Cole: Thanks very much for the quick review! Everything should be just about done, so let me know if there is anything else to fix up. Doggo375 (talk) 23:04, 26 July 2021 (UTC)
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