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Talk:Lachie Hunter/GA1

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GA Review

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Reviewer: Harper J. Cole (talk · contribs) 15:40, 26 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]


I'll take on this review, as part of the July 2021 Backlog Drive.

Lead

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  • Hunter is described as an outside midfielder or wingman who can also play as a half-forward. His infobox lists his position as "Wingman / Forward". Should the infobox also include midfielder?
 Done - Good pickup there, I've added that in. Doggo375 (talk) 22:30, 26 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]
 Done - And wikilinked to this in other paragraphs where this occurs. Doggo375 (talk) 22:30, 26 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Early life

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  • I think strictly speaking "née" should include the accent above the first e.
 Done Doggo375 (talk) 22:30, 26 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • [the team's 96 point demolition against Tasmania] --> "the team's 96-point demolition of Tasmania"
 Done Doggo375 (talk) 22:30, 26 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • Mark Hunter is wikilinked twice in one section (once is enough).
 Done Doggo375 (talk) 22:30, 26 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]

2013-2015: Early career

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  • [the Bulldogs' 4 and 28 point victories] --> "the Bulldogs' 4- and 28-point victories"
 Done
 Done
  • [65 point loss] --> "65-point loss" I think this is the conventional way to write it, based on a search of articles online. If you agree, I'd suggest doing ctrl+f and searching for "point", then putting hyphens in for the other instances of point margins being mentioned.
 Done - I think that's the best way to go about it. Doggo375 (talk) 22:49, 26 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]
 Done Doggo375 (talk) 22:49, 26 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • [Hunter received a club imposed ban] --> "Hunter received a club-imposed ban"
 Done Doggo375 (talk) 22:49, 26 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • [he quickly became a ball magnet] A bit informal for Wikipedia. How about "he quickly saw much more of the ball", or "he quickly became central to his team's efforts"?
 Done Doggo375 (talk) 22:49, 26 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]
 Done Doggo375 (talk) 22:49, 26 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]

2016-2019: Breakout

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  • [16 point loss loss] Duplicated word.
 Done Doggo375 (talk) 22:49, 26 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • [saw Hunter go to hospital after the game] Add, "...with concussion-like symptoms".
 Done Doggo375 (talk) 22:49, 26 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • [He also had good games in rounds 11 and 2] For clarity, I think this should be put in chronological order ("2 and 11"). Swap the disposal stats and the citations as well if you agree.
 Done - Definitely agree with you on this one, I'm not quite sure what I was thinking at the time but it is confusing. Switched. Doggo375 (talk) 22:49, 26 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]
 Done Doggo375 (talk) 22:49, 26 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • [collected 26 disposals took 6 marks and had 4 inside-50s] Comma after "disposals".
 Done Doggo375 (talk) 22:49, 26 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • [He also had a similarly good game] You can drop the word "also" (as "similarly" already gives this meaning).
 Done Doggo375 (talk) 22:56, 26 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • [The 2018 AFL season saw Hunter had one of his best seasons yet] --> "The 2018 AFL season saw Hunter have one of his best seasons yet"
 Done Doggo375 (talk) 22:56, 26 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • [getting named in the Bulldogs best for the game] Possessive apostrophe for Bulldogs'.
 Done Doggo375 (talk) 22:56, 26 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • [the Top 10 of the Best and Fairest voting] In other mentions, "best and fairest" has had a small b and a small f.
 Done Doggo375 (talk) 22:56, 26 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • Marcus Bontempelli only needs to be wikilinked the first time he appears in this section (he's currently wikilinked all four times).
 Done Doggo375 (talk) 22:56, 26 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]

2020-2021: Struggles and injury

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  • [with drink-driving offences and personal issues pushing him out of the team, for a total of just 10 games]. Could cause confusion, as it sort of reads like he's pushed out of the team for 10 games, whereas I think the meaning is that he plays 10 games? How about, "... reducing him to a total of just 10 games..."?
 Done - Another good find there, I didn't realise it could be read the other way when I first wrote that. Doggo375 (talk) 23:01, 26 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • [Hunter only vice-captained the Bulldogs' for one game] No possessive apostrophe for Bulldogs here.
 Done Doggo375 (talk) 23:01, 26 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • [after pulling his jumper to the broadcast of the game when kicking a goal] A little hard to follow (though I understand what you're saying). Also, having taken a look at the video, it looks like the jumper-pulling followed the goal, so how about, "...after grabbing his Bulldogs jumper in celebration at kicking a goal..."?
 Done Doggo375 (talk) 23:01, 26 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • [Bulldogs' season-defining 5-goal win win over Fremantle] Duplicate word.
 Done Doggo375 (talk) 23:01, 26 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • [He was decided as the second best player] --> "He was named the second best player"
 Done Doggo375 (talk) 23:01, 26 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • Worth mentioning that their win vs Fremantle was to get into the playoffs?
 Done Doggo375 (talk) 23:01, 26 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Summary

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