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- See what you mean, probably best to leave this one, unless you want to red-link it. Amitchell125 (talk) 18:04, 9 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]
- I'm a bit reluctant to red link it, only because whatever it was (in the Kingdom of Italy) it is likely defunct. Did it only apply to Turin? Was it part of a judicial system, etc. I am not remotely sure how one would go about figuring out if the specific procurator general in Turin was a notable office. SusunW (talk) 19:54, 9 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]
Amend He continued to ‘Giolitti continued’, for the sake of clarity.
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- Understood. AM
Her mother – I would amend to ‘Enrichetta’s mother’ or ‘Rosa’, to avoid readers becoming slightly confused.
I would start a new paragraph from Giolitti was the second child, to help separate information about her adult relatives/ancestors from her siblings and their childhood.
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- Understood. AM
a liberal environment – imparts little information (see MOS:PUFFERY), and I think could easily be omitted.
- Disagree, liberalism provided the context, if you will, the learning environment for her be become who she was. Had she been raised in a traditional environment, women would not have been educated (other than in domestic/motherly duties). She would not have participated in political discussions (or any other discussion that did not revolve around the domestic sphere), and would have been taught that she was subordinate to her father, her husband, etc. In women's history, it imparts context and is definitely not puffery. I've linked liberalism.
- Linking the word goes some way towards resolving the issue that I had in mind, although the topic of liberalism is so wide-ranging that it might be worth adding more details, if these are available, of some of the liberal idea that her parents believed in. Amitchell125 (talk) 19:08, 9 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]
- Added a sentence. Better? SusunW (talk) 19:54, 9 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]
- Better. AM
Thanks to her acute understanding of politics and human nature – this and the text that follows seems misplaced, as readers could assume here that a child is being discussed. At the least, it should form part of a separate paragraph.
- I disagree, but moved the paragraph. (Sorry, I feel as if you may be beginning to think I am being argumentative, but I honestly am not. I appreciate your comments very much and am weighing each one. I am truly willing to make changes that I feel improve the article.) I don't think there is another section that logically would discuss her interactions with her father. Were she 100, she would still be his child, so to avoid the implication that her thoughts were a child's thoughts I have added "Throughout their lives" does that help? SusunW (talk) 16:10, 9 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]
- There's no hard-and-fast rule, but generally speaking, biographies are easier to read if the chronology is maintained. To help with this you could perhaps produce a new paragraph at the end of this section, starting from Throughout their lives.... and pop the text preceding it (The children were raised...) into the preceding paragraph. Amitchell125 (talk) 18:26, 9 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]
- That works. Thanks SusunW (talk) 19:40, 9 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]
- Good catch, thank you. Changed first instance to Giolitti and appended her father. SusunW (talk)
He was more pragmatic - ‘He was more pragmatic than his daughter’?
(l-r) Rosa (née Sobrero) and Giovanni Giolitti, 1895 – I would simplify the caption to something like ‘Rosa and Giovanni Giolitti in 1895’.
Link Giovanni Giolitti in the caption.
where their eldest son Curio was born on 25 June 1897. Three children followed, Tito (born 1902), Sergio, and Marcella – as the children are not notable in their own right, I would consider amending this to something like ‘where the first of their four children were born’.
- My research indicates that they were all probably notable. The business that the boys operated in Argentina is still operational and Marcella seems to have been an activist. I found a lot of sources that indicated articles about them could be written and linked to her article. SusunW (talk) 16:10, 9 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]
- To make this clear to others, I would be bold and red-link any of the children that you think are notable enough. Amitchell125 (talk) 19:01, 9 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]
- done SusunW (talk) 19:58, 9 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]
This section covers 40 years of the life of Giolitti, and is not, therefore, just about her early life. I would split the section, the second one perhaps covering her early adult life.
- I find sections with only one paragraph choppy to the flow of an article, although I admit many people seem to like that form (as well as one sentence paragraphs). Articles about women before the mid-20th century often reflect that their careers or public works did not start until after their children were in school, so it's kind of a conundrum how to segment an article logically. I have renamed the section early life and family. If you think that works, then done. If you think it necessary, I will chop it into early life and early adult life. SusunW (talk) 16:10, 9 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]
- See above; the amended title is an improvement. Amitchell125 (talk) 19:14, 9 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]
- Thanks! SusunW (talk) 19:58, 9 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]
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