Talk:Aderemi Kuku/GA1
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[edit]The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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Nominator: Vanderwaalforces (talk · contribs) 17:59, 21 May 2024 (UTC)
Reviewer: SafariScribe (talk · contribs) 10:20, 2 June 2024 (UTC) I love seeing articles like this. I'll look at this today. Safari ScribeEdits! Talk! 10:20, 2 June 2024 (UTC)
- My review sometimes may require discussion. Feel free to propose an alternative good suggestion. Safari ScribeEdits! Talk! 19:48, 3 June 2024 (UTC)
Lede
[edit]Early life
[edit]- Source 1 doesn't seem to say the date of birth. You may cite this as {{cite web|url=https://bulletin.ui.edu.ng/sites/default/files/ONLINE%2520Obituary%2520of%2520Prof%2520Kuku.pdf|last=Faluyi|first=Olubunmi O.|website=bulletin.ui.edu.ng|publisher=[[University of Ibadan]]|date=2022}}</ref> Reserve The Nation for awards section.
- Can we just use "Kuku" as it is more like used in source I and the nation obit.
- We can use "...as the third out of four brothers in Ijebu Ode, Ogun State, Nigeria." This should follow after "20 March 1941".
His parents, Busari Adeoye Kuku, a photographer, and Abusatu Oriaran Baruwa, a trader, ensured that their children attended school. Aderemi was the third of four brothers, all of whom pursued professional careers.
I would reduce some unnecessary words and use the key ones. You may want to rephrase perhaps "His father Busari Adeoye Kuku was a photographer, and the mother Abusatu Oriaran Baruwa, a trader." In the pretext, we may not know who the father is or the mother since those names aren't differentiated by a typical gendered name. It isn't necessary adding"..ensured their children went to school.
: It is not necessary.- Done --Vanderwaalforces (talk) 15:39, 12 June 2024 (UTC)
- Add "to the Kuku family" before 'in Ijebu-Ode, Ogun state.'
- After his parents, add "Kuku is a descendant of Oba Ofiran. His paternal great-grandmother, Barikisu Kuku, was the great-granddaughter of Oba Ofiran, and Otunba Kuku, a professor and member of the Adetuyo Ruling House of Owa in Okun-Owa." Cite to Houston, p. 278.
- Note: Okun-Owa seems to be historically notable and may need a Wikipedia article following The history of Okun-Owa, Ijebu, Ogun State, which can be a rich source. Same applicable to the Oba which I can't find good sources but hopefully will. It can be a redirect to the 'Obas' as the case may be.
- Add "Kuku's parents were passionate about educating those children that Kuku's older brothers were experts in telecommunications and electrical technology, re-
spectively, while his younger brother, a professor of Electronics." Cite per se. It's important knowing the rich-educated family he came from.
- After Agege, Lagos State should be linked; I don't think it has appeared before in the section so far. It will help differentiate Lagos (City), and the state.
- In
Kuku began his education at Bishop Oluwole Memorial School in Agege, Lagos State, and continued at St James School Anglican primary school in Oke-Odan, Ogun State.
E F Robertson and O'Connor says "he had his first education at Bishop Oluwole." They never said he continued or not, so we don't know whether he left or withdraw or started from the beginning. Use "He then attended St James School Anglican primary school in Oke-Odan, Ogun State, where he came first in the first school leaving certificate.- @SafariScribe: See what MacTutor says
Aderemi Kuku's first school was Bishop Oluwole Memorial School, Agege, Lagos State. He then attended St James School Anglican primary school, Oke-Odan, Ogun State coming first in the first school leaving certificate.
This clearly and exactly verifies that claim. --Vanderwaalforces (talk) 16:10, 12 June 2024 (UTC)
- @SafariScribe: See what MacTutor says
- "admission to Eko Boys' High School in Lagos, Nigeria, where he served as Head Boy in his final year, 1959." We also don't know whether having the distinction got him admitted. Rather use "He enrolled into Eko Boys' High School, Lagos."
- Sequel to above,
He then moved to the Eko Boys High School, Lagos, Nigeria which he attended from 1955 to 1959.
clearly and also exactly verifies that claim. --Vanderwaalforces (talk) 16:10, 12 June 2024 (UTC)
- Sequel to above,
- Academic career
- "led to his promotion" to which promotion?
He was appointed as a Lecturer II at the University of Ife, where he began his teaching career
This is the statement the preceeds the one you're pointing out. mentioning Lecturer II here again is tautology. --Vanderwaalforces (talk) 22:27, 13 June 2024 (UTC)- I didn't say you should add it but find a way of joining words to avoid confusion. So many readers would want to know it immediately than reading the next line with same or different citation. Safari ScribeEdits! Talk! 22:41, 13 June 2024 (UTC)
- @SafariScribe I do not see a problem with this prose at all. I do not know what to reply based on this again as because of my knowledge of English language, this sentence is literally clear enough. Vanderwaalforces (talk) 22:44, 13 June 2024 (UTC)
- I didn't say you should add it but find a way of joining words to avoid confusion. So many readers would want to know it immediately than reading the next line with same or different citation. Safari ScribeEdits! Talk! 22:41, 13 June 2024 (UTC)
- After the Colombia University, pipe New York over the New York City
- @SafariScribe: Colombia University is clearly in New York City and not New York (state?), "New York" in itself is a disambiguation page by the way. --Vanderwaalforces (talk) 22:30, 13 June 2024 (UTC)
- I said piping. Its usually piped to New York. It's optional which I had failed to say earlier. Safari ScribeEdits! Talk! 22:39, 13 June 2024 (UTC)
- Piping to a disambiguation page? I clearly do not understand because one should not be linking a disambiguation page if there's a better target. Vanderwaalforces (talk) 22:42, 13 June 2024 (UTC)
- I said piping. Its usually piped to New York. It's optional which I had failed to say earlier. Safari ScribeEdits! Talk! 22:39, 13 June 2024 (UTC)
- @SafariScribe: Colombia University is clearly in New York City and not New York (state?), "New York" in itself is a disambiguation page by the way. --Vanderwaalforces (talk) 22:30, 13 June 2024 (UTC)
- Find a way of releasing "This opportunity allowed him to spend the year 1970–71 at Columbia University, where he worked with Bass and submitted his thesis On the Whitehead group of p-adic integral group-rings of finite p-groups, earning his Ph.D. in 1971." No need if knowing it's a opportunity, the dates can be specific i.e like went to Colombia University in 1970, where he worked .....in 1971." (Ask me if you don't understand)
- The opportunity of
conduct[ing a] research at Columbia University
allowed himworked with Bass and submitted his thesis
... This is a logical flow of what the source says and I am sure I am clearly interpreting it. Maybe you have better explanations. --Vanderwaalforces (talk) 22:35, 13 June 2024 (UTC)
- The opportunity of
- Upon his return to Nigeria should bear Kuku not "Kuku's"
- The promotions should not bear "to" except at the first mention.
- I don't think so, we all have different perception of English language, and the preposition "to" being repeated here does not render the grammar wrong at all. --Vanderwaalforces (talk) 22:40, 13 June 2024 (UTC)
- He organized the "Fourth" should be "fourth". It doesn't seem the fourth is among the title
- Link Banach algebras, C*-algebras, group C*-algebras, Hopf algebras, and quantum groups
- Is M. Mahdavi-Hezavehi likely to get a Wikipedia page, if not delink or find in the sister wikis
- Adding redlinks to articles encourages content creation. Please see WP:REDLINKS. "Only remove red links if you are certain that Wikipedia should not have an article on that subject." Which is not the case here. --Vanderwaalforces (talk) 22:51, 13 June 2024 (UTC)
- "His work with D.N. Diep and N.Q. Tho"; I would first list N.Q. Tho to avoid confusion of 'on'.
- This is not a problem too, but I have Done it. --Vanderwaalforces (talk) 22:53, 13 June 2024 (UTC)
- In the last paragraph
Kuku has authored research articles, books, and monographs throughout his career.[10] He has mentored M.Sc., M.Phil., and Ph.D. candidates, and guided postdoctoral researchers and mathematicians globally.
Remove the first source since the second.of same is supporting that. I mean source 10.
- Safari ScribeEdits! Talk! 21:58, 13 June 2024 (UTC)
- Also be careful of WP:OVERKILL where one source which has every statement is repeatedly added in same paragraph. Remove all the source 9 and add them at the end of each paragraph. I will do this one. Safari ScribeEdits! Talk! 22:01, 13 June 2024 (UTC)
- Source analysis Safari ScribeEdits! Talk! 22:13, 13 June 2024 (UTC)
- Source 1 is good but I dnt seem to find his death. Add somewhere that he died on 13 February 2022 at age 80 (cited to source 1)
- Source 2 said nothing about his background. It will be useful anyways. You may cite it at "he was promoted to a professor in 1982, and headed the Post graduate college, University of Ibadan from 1986 to 1990.
- I removed it entirely, since Punch says something more concise. --Vanderwaalforces (talk) 16:41, 14 June 2024 (UTC)
- Additionally, maybe in legacy cited to The Nations, he was given the chieftain title of Otunba Ofiran of Ijebuland.
- I did not do this one. --Vanderwaalforces (talk) 16:41, 14 June 2024 (UTC)
- Safari ScribeEdits! Talk! 22:36, 13 June 2024 (UTC)
- @SafariScribe: Everything checks out for me. --Vanderwaalforces (talk) 16:41, 14 June 2024 (UTC)
- I am convinced that the article meets the GA criteria. I also will want to see images illustrated in the article. Kudos! Safari ScribeEdits! Talk! 22:00, 20 June 2024 (UTC)
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.