Jump to content

Talk:1948 Bermuda–Newfoundland hurricane

Page contents not supported in other languages.
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

GA Review

[edit]
GA toolbox
Reviewing
This review is transcluded from Talk:1948 Bermuda–Newfoundland hurricane/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Yellow Evan (talk · contribs) 12:33, 14 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]

  • " The storm was the eighth named storm and third hurricane of the annual hurricane season, the cyclone originated off the coast of Africa from a tropical wave on September 4, and tracked a general westward path for much of its initial stages as it gradually intensified, reaching tropical storm intensity shortly after development and then hurricane intensity a day later." this sentence just does not seem right. I call for it to be divided into two separate sentences. YE Pacific Hurricane 12:33, 14 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]
 Done – I feel like this wasn't intentional; nonetheless I divided the specified passage and changed the wording such that the flow would be better. TheAustinMan(Talk·Works) 19:03, 14 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "a parabolic track," I'd link that. The average American doesn't feel like remembering Algebra 1 :P YE Pacific Hurricane
 Done – 'parabolic track' was linked to parabola. TheAustinMan(Talk·Works) 19:03, 14 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]
 Done – 'Resulting' was deleted and 'the' was replaced with 'these'. TheAustinMan(Talk·Works) 19:03, 14 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]
 Done – Power lines was delinked. TheAustinMan(Talk·Works) 19:03, 14 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Beginning on September 15, the hurricane tracked east of Newfoundland, bringing with it heavy rain." try to re-write the last part of the sentence. It does not really imply that rain fell over Newfoundland, it hints that it fell east of Newfoundland. YE Pacific Hurricane 12:33, 14 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]
 Done – Replaced with 'producing heavy rainfall across the Canadian province'. TheAustinMan(Talk·Works) 19:03, 14 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]
 Done – Reworded and replaced with suggested wording. TheAustinMan(Talk·Works) 19:03, 14 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]
 Done – Specified SSHWS.
 Done – Removed information.
  • "With winds equivalent to that of a Category 1 hurricane, the cyclone brushed east of the island, bringing strong winds and extensive flooding." you mention it brought winds twice in the same sentence, I proposal that you eliminate one of the two instances. YE Pacific Hurricane 12:33, 14 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]
 Done'You proposal' is grammatically incorrect. TheAustinMan(Talk·Works) 19:03, 14 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]
 Done – Such a note was added. TheAustinMan(Talk·Works) 19:03, 14 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Otherwise, life is good. Not too much bloat here TAM. YE Pacific Hurricane 12:33, 14 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]