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Autumn 2024 Educational Project Page

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This page is part of an Educational Project by students of LIUC, Italy, with a course page at: [1]https://outreachdashboard.wmflabs.org/courses/LIUC_-_Universit%C3%A0_Cattaneo/Digital_Technology_(October_-_December,_2024) . The users of the group are new to the Wikipedia platform, have completed mandatory Training for Students, and are learning to edit following Wikipedia rules. They are open to any advice on improvements of the page in conformity to Wikipedia requirements and guidelines, and any help useful for the enhancement of the page will be gladly accepted. The student Usernames are:

  • LIUCGaia03
  • LiucMichela3
  • LIUCstefano03
  • LIUCSouad03
  • LIUCLorenzo10
  • LIUCFederico3
  • DataExplorer4

Issues or questions can be referred direct to the users or to their tutor @Limelightangel

Limelightangel Limelightangel (talk) 14:06, 28 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Feedback on draft 1/11/24

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@LIUCGaia03, LiucMichela3, LIUCstefano03, LIUCSouad03, LIUCLorenzo10, LIUCFederico3, and DataExplorer4:

Limelightangel (talk) 13:44, 1 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]

I've tried to correct my errors. Now I think that the reference for Maddalena, Roberta... is placed in the right section. In addition I've corrected the grammar error in the first line of history paragraph and I've added the source of the other 2 paragraphs of history. LIUCSouad03 (talk) 17:29, 5 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]
note guidelines on Talk pages:
    • they are not to state what has been done, which is available in the Page History
    • avoid the personal tense
    • see Wikipedia:talk
Limelightangel (talk) 21:19, 6 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]
  • ref.3 is incorrect
  • the External link is formated incorrectly. See Wikipedia:External links and how it is done better on other pages
  • style/grammar: not 'a luxurious chain'
  • do not link out to external sites from the text - use correct referencing. See Wikipedia:linking
  • repetitive/duplicate content

Limelightangel (talk) 21:17, 6 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Feedback on draft 12/11/24

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@LIUCGaia03, LiucMichela3, LIUCstefano03, LIUCSouad03, LIUCLorenzo10, LIUCFederico3, and DataExplorer4:

  • given the extensive issues listed here and in the earlier post it is advised to discuss & correctly 'check off' issues where they are listed when completed to manage these tasks. See Help:Talk
  • the External link is formated incorrectly. See Wikipedia:External links and how it is done better on other pages
  • referencing:
    • inconsistencies in reference format related to use of upper case characters
    • non-English rsources are acceptable but need to be complimented and balanced with English sources accessible to the platform's audience. See Wikipedia:Verifiability#Non-English_sources. There are acceptable english sources via Google in news and books, and in Scholar.
    • ref. 8 incorrectly displays a page URL
    • there are several incorrect in-line citations in the text on the resorts. See Help:referencing for beginners and do not link out from text to external websites
    • several sections, including whole paragraphs, have no sources
  • Needs an Infobox. See Help:Infobox. Understand what the Infobox is, find a relevant Infobox template from Wikipedia:List of infoboxes, or similar pages, and probably use Template:Infobox company. Use this template correctly. Note that these are templates with rules on how they are used and for acceptable field content/format
  • note and use the guidelines and good practice on lead sections and look at good practice on other pages. Much of the current lead section content is in the wrong place or promotional in style. See: Wikipedia:Manual of Style/Lead section. See also Wikipedia:Writing_better_articles#Lead_section.
  • grammar issues e.g. 'the original plan was to transport thermal water by tank, since it was too complicated they opted to use the local water supply.'; 'that ,according to the "forest bathing",give energy to the human body. '; etc.
  • duplicate content e.g. number of centers, treatments, etc.
  • style: remove unnecessary and vague words e.g. 'Today,'; 'more precisely '; 'However'; etc. See Wikipedia:Manual_of_Style#Vocabulary
  • topics on commercial entities. Note the guidance on this type of topic at: Wikipedia:Why can't I advertise my company or product on Wikipedia?. There are fundamental issues with addressing the policy and guidelines on this type of topic:
    • style needs to be objective, unbiased and non-promotional. Examples failing this include: 'new era'; 'offer different comforts'; 'direct access to'; 'free Wi-Fi connection'; 'host exclusive business and private events'; 'panoramic gardens'; 'as well as discounts/benefits'; 'success draws heavily from its heritage.'; 'boasts features like'; 'offering views of Manhattan's skyline and the Statue of Liberty. '; 'not more than 1km away the ski slopes'; 'immersed among majestic marble staircases and frescoes'; '144 hectares of greenery'; 'situated at the foot of Mont Blanc.'; 'immersed in a Renaissance park'; 'gives a relaxing massage. '; 'a 5-minute ferry ride from downtown Manhattan.'; 'developed in synergy with local institutions:'; 'unique mountain landscapes in the famous french ski resort.'; etc. See Manual_of_Style#Vocabulary
    • much of the tabulated information on the specific resorts is promotional and needs a critical review offactual relevance, subjectivity and acceptability, including but not limited to extensive inappropriate style e.g. 'A secret garden'; 'A purifying experience'; 'A pool with the view of the Brembana valley. '; etc.
    • as an example of more objective factual content, authorative English sources and an acceptable source on resorts, see ref. 6 and the added text to the Chamonix resort sub-section
  • content: look at good pages on commercial entities for indicative sections, content and acceptable sources. For example, an objective section on Finances is appropriate, as is data on corporate structure.
  • there are no See Also links. See Wikipedia:Manual_of_Style/Layout#"See_also"_section
  • needs adding to relevant Categories. See Help:Category
  • the page needs relevant and acceptable images to support the relevant section text
  • there is overlinking of several terms e.g. Zen, Orangery, etc. See Help:Linking and similar. Look at good practice on other pages.

Limelightangel (talk) 15:15, 12 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]

deleted commercial phrases, corrected punctuation and grammar mistakes, fixed overlinked words and rephrased a couple paragraphs. LIUCGaia03 (talk) 12:48, 14 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]

LIUCFederico3 (talk)Added the infobox with information taken from the chamber of commerce

Suggestions for QC Terme San Pellegrino

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@LIUCGaia03, LiucMichela3, LIUCstefano03, LIUCLorenzo10, LIUCFederico3, and DataExplorer4:

  • it's better to add some photos
  • the table contains commercial/promotional contents, so we need to make it more objective by listing only the services available
  • missing sources citations for the wellness services table

LIUCSouad03 19:00, 13 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Finances

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@LIUCGaia03, LiucMichela3, LIUCstefano03, LIUCLorenzo10, LIUCFederico3, and LIUCSouad03:

  • Content must be added to the new section created

I have added more informations in that section, let me know if you like them. @LIUCstefano03:

Tables

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@LIUCGaia03, LiucMichela3, LIUCstefano03, LIUCLorenzo10, LIUCFederico3, and DataExplorer4: probably it's better to replace long tables with a bullet point list of the main services provided by QC Terme, eliminating the description if it's promotional and non-objective. What to you think about it? LIUCSouad03 12:11, 14 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]

@LIUCSouad03 we started with a bullet point structure for the services provided by QC Terme in each location but it was suggested to use a table structure instead. Maybe we can keep the main services and delete the least important ones. LIUCGaia03 (talk) 12:51, 14 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]
yes, that sounds good. The most important thing is to eliminate commercial/promotional content from the description of the services provided LIUCSouad03 (talk) 20:38, 14 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]

@LIUCGaia03, LiucMichela3, LIUCstefano03, LIUCLorenzo10, LIUCFederico3, and DataExplorer4: Many information in the tables are still promotional, such as the descriptions regarding the City Sauna and the Panoramic Spa Pool (QC Terme NY) and the part about "Bain de la contemplation" in QC Terme Prè Saint Didier. Maybe it's better to remove the part that says "panoramic view on New York's skyscrapers" as well as "views on the Mont Blanc" because they aren't objective at all. If you agree with me, I'll remove them. LIUCSouad03 18:58, 15 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]

@LIUCGaia03, LiucMichela3, LIUCstefano03, LIUCSouad03, and LIUCLorenzo10: Overall table created, tell me what do you think and let's work on it to make it better.LIUCFederico3 (talk) 16:55, 22 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Just saw the overall table, I think it can work. Let's add the right information and try to delete any commercial/promotional sentence. LIUCGaia03 (talk) 16:59, 22 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]
I think the table is good,should we delete all the others? LiucMichela3 (talk) 17:22, 22 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Suggestions

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@LiucMichela3, @LIUCstefano03, @LIUCLorenzo10, @LIUCFederico3, @DataExplorer4 and @LIUCSouad03: I think before our next workshop we can add information in the new section that was recently created ("Finance"), I fixed a couple punctuation mistakes and formatted the tables so they all present the same structure. I think we should focus on the main wellness services provided and remove a few ones so we still follow our tutor's advice about removing the bullet points. I also think there are a few sentences we can rephrase since they're too commercial/promotional because the style must be unbiased and objective if we want it to be accepted. I agree with the previous feedbacks about adding more pictures. Do you have any suggestion about new categories/topics we can add? LIUCGaia03 (talk) 13:01, 14 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]

I have added more informations in that section, let me know if you like them. LIUCstefano03 (talk) 16:35, 21 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]
yes, I think they're good LIUCSouad03 (talk) 14:38, 22 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Feedback on draft 22/11/24

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@LIUCGaia03, LiucMichela3, LIUCstefano03, LIUCSouad03, LIUCLorenzo10, LIUCFederico3, and DataExplorer4:

  • there are still incorrect in-line citations in the text on the resorts. See Help:referencing for beginners and do not link out from text to external websites
    • several sections, including whole paragraphs, have no sources
  • note and use the guidelines and good practice on lead sections and look at good practice on other pages. Much of the current lead section content is in the wrong place or promotional in style. See: Wikipedia:Manual of Style/Lead section. See also Wikipedia:Writing_better_articles#Lead_section.
  • Enrich the opening paragraph: take inspiration from other Wikipedia pages dealing with the same topic.
  • Organize images appropriately and find the right balance between images and tables. Many tables are inappropriate: assess which of these can be turned into text

Greentree97 (talk) 11:17, 12 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]

I looked at other wikipedia pages that deal with the same kind of topic and I enriched the opening paragraph. LIUCGaia03 (talk) 14:21, 22 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Probably, we should read the paragraphs again and remove promotional content, starting from reducing the list of facilities LIUCSouad03 (talk) 14:41, 22 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]
I read half of the paragraphs yesterday and they didn't seem that promotional for me, but I agree with revising again the whole page and correct mistakes in case we find them. LIUCstefano03 (talk) 15:18, 22 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]

@LIUCGaia03, LiucMichela3, LIUCstefano03, LIUCLorenzo10, LIUCFederico3, and DataExplorer4: The paragraph Spa & wellness centers should be changed because it only lists facilities and services provided by QC Terme and this is a bit promotional. We need to make an introduction to this topic before listing and describing the locations, so we can simply provide the number of wellness centers and where they are located . LIUCSouad03 15:58, 22 November 2024 (UTC)[reply]

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