Wikipedia:WikiProject Video games/Peer review/Anarchy Online

Anarchy Online

This article recieved a peer review a year ago, and thanks to input from other editors we were able to get it from C-class to GA-class. I would like to submit as a FAN sometime in the future, but I'm not sure exactly what needs to be worked on. The gameplay section was recently updated for better organization and broader explaination. To any potential reviewers, do you feel like you understand the gameplay after reading it? Is it too detailed in places? Any input on the whole article would be appreciated. Sebquantic (talk) 16:22, 8 August 2009 (UTC)[reply]

For starters I'd shrink the image in gameplay to ~200px wide, and fix the citation errors. Other than that it looks great to me. --Teancum (talk) 03:26, 30 August 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Done, thanks your your help. I hadn't noticed those weird {cite web} errors with archived urls.Sebquantic (talk) 15:15, 30 August 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Comments by gakon5

Synopsis

Its desert-like landscape is sparsely populated with futuristic cities, outposts, and transportation infrastructure. I hate to use the cop-out term "awkward" to describe this sentence, but it sorta reads that way for me. Maybe re-word this to something along the lines of "sparsely populated, containing futuristic cities, outposts, and transportation infrastructure." Also, "futuristic" seems to modify both "cities" and "outposts."
Controlling and occupying much of the planet's territory are the hyper-corporation Omni-Tek, rebel Clans, and the neutral observers which make up the three playable factions. Do the neutral observers make up the three playable factions?
Factions there fight for its control much like those on Rubi-Ka. Maybe "control of it" or "control of the planet" instead.
~~The way the Shadowlands are introduced mid-paragraph was a bit confusing to me. Maybe first note that there are two main areas, Rubi-Ka and the Shadowlands, and then explain what each of those are.~~

Fixed and expanded synopsis section. I was afraid to put so much info there because the gameplay and development sections are so big. The game's story is ridiculously complicated. Sebquantic (talk) 04:03, 1 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I understand; the setup should be all you need, considering the story has been going on for a while, probably has a lot of sides to it, and is somewhat procedurally-generated. --gakon5 (talk)

Gameplay

Interaction with Anarchy Online happens using a keyboard and mouse to control a series of windows, menus, and on-screen buttons overlaying the game world. The word "happens" appears a lot in this article. There's probably a better way to say it, like "Players interact with Anarchy Online via...". Also, clarify that the "series of windows, menus, and on-screen buttons" do not overlay the "physical" game world, but rather occupy a heads-up display.

Fixed Sebquantic (talk) 02:05, 1 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Skill System

The game's skill and equipment mechanics have been described as "very complex". Seems out-of-place, considering every other section is devoid of opinion. Leave it in the Reception section.

went ahead and removed this for now. Sebquantic (talk) 02:05, 1 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Characters skills are central as most other gameplay elements are based on them. Central to what?

Fixed Sebquantic (talk) 02:05, 1 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]

"83 visible skills" If by "visible" you mean "available," write that. As opposed to "invisible" skills?

there are "invisible" skills that appear in some items' description, but aren't controlled by the player. They're rare so I went ahead and removed that adjective. Fixed Sebquantic (talk) 02:05, 1 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]

At each new level, until the maximum level of 220, the character increases skills of their choosing. Do you not gain skill points at level 220? Also, "increases skills" is pretty vague. Does that mean you put points into Strength, Intellect, etc., or do you put points into skills to improve them?

Fixed Sebquantic (talk) 02:05, 1 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Perks are chosen from a menu both when specific levels are reached, and when the player kills enough of a specific enemy called "aliens". The use of quotes seems unnecessary. I've never played this game; are there mobs called "Alien," or is there a larger group of mob types called "Aliens"?

they're a type of mob. It's actually three systems that branch out, I was trying to over-simplify it. Hopefully it is explained better now. Sebquantic (talk) 02:05, 1 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Further adding to skills is the characters "equipment". Use of quotes again seems unnecessary.

Fixed Sebquantic (talk) 02:05, 1 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]

There are a lot of quotes around game terms. I'd have to check to see if there's a rule, but in my mind, if it's not some super game-y, arcane-sounding term, leave the quotes off. Terms like equipment, skills, or even level don't need quotes. "Perks" and "research" are more game-specific terms, which would merit the quote marks.

Combat

Combat is controlled by the amount of "suppression gas" in any given area that dictates whether a player can start combat unprovoked with other computer- or player-controlled characters. Generally, this arbitrary percentage approaches 100% in major cities and decreases while moving to more remote areas. You should clarify what this system is for: restricting PvP in certain areas like cities, to create the safe havens. I get it, but a non-gamer may not.

Moved to next paragraph and elaborated. Sebquantic (talk) 03:35, 2 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]

After targeting another character and initiating combat, each character continuously damages the other automatically with their weapons and nano programs. Meanwhile players use, via the interface, any abilities or "special attacks" they have access to for additional damage. Clarify how auto-attacks work, and what the heck "nano programs" are. Also, don't write "for additional damage," write something like "to cause additional damage." Finally, expand on what abilities are, things like buffs/debuffs and healing abilities.

Hope this is clearer. Sebquantic (talk) 03:35, 2 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Once the target is dead a corpse or other reward is given. Rewarded with a corpse? If the player loots the body for money/items, write that.

This made me laugh, it does sounds pretty funny like that. Fixed. Sebquantic (talk) 03:35, 2 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]

When a player's character dies it is "resurrected" at its last saved location, and skills are temporarily reduced. No quotes needed around "resurrection". How do you save to a location? What are the implications of skills being reduced?

fixed Sebquantic (talk) 03:35, 2 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Combat with these is meant for use in specific situations, and is not based on the characters skills. Clarify that vehicles, I assume, have their own skills, and players do not use their own character's skills while piloting them.

fixed Sebquantic (talk) 03:35, 2 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Combat between two or more players, colloquially known as "player vs player", is encouraged by both rewards to characters and the social nature of the game. Expand "player vs player" to "player vs player combat." "Encouraged by rewards to characters" sounds vague. Clarify that PvP is combat between human players, as opposed to the definition of PvE.

fixed Sebquantic (talk) 03:35, 2 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Dynamic Missions

* After accepting the mission a new indoor area is generated containing a random network of hallways and rooms filled with computer-controlled enemies. Players are to go to its location and finish some task inside for their reward. Expand on this, as it even confuses me. Is it an instance the player enters? Does "go to its location" mean it appears somewhere else and you go to where that is?

There are several visual templates such as "abandoned subway" or "alien mothership", and nearly every expansion pack has added a new one. Explain what a visual template is; I can only assume its the textures in the hallways.

fixed Sebquantic (talk) 03:35, 2 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Development

The company at that time had not yet released its first major title The Longest Journey. "At the time, the company..." Also, instead of saying "not yet released," say it was still in development.

This sentence doesn't make much sense now that I think about it. I dont know if Longest Journey was even in development then, and its sort of irrelevant anyway. Changed it to describe how they only did console games to that point. Sebquantic (talk) 00:41, 3 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]

~~I notice that you reference The Longest Journey in the first paragraph, but in the second paragraph, give it a wikilink and a description ("series of adventure games").~~
the game can stop, fade, layer, and modify its tempo "modify the tempo of"

Fixed Sebquantic (talk) 00:41, 3 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Free programs

Anarchy Online was the first online role playing game to offer free trial subscriptions in 2001. This reads like AO was the first MMO to be released in 2001 that offered free trials.

The sources I've read seem to back this up. The company claims they were the first, and the two third-party sources given describe the idea of free trials in mmos as if it was a new concept, instead of just saying "Anarchy Online now offers free trials." There's also a statement from mygamer.com that says "they were the first", but i doubt that site is wp:rs. Will this claim get shot down at the FAN as it is? Sebquantic (talk) 00:41, 3 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]

My issue is with the way it's worded. The first game to do this-and-that... in 2001. Not ever, just 2001. --gakon5 (talk)

Changed this to "Anarchy Online was the first online role playing game to offer free trial subscriptions, now common practice for other games in its genre." Sebquantic (talk) 21:36, 3 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Engine upgrade

The current engine, based on DirectX 7, would have been upgraded to a modified version of the open source OGRE engine. This statement is sort of left hanging, as you don't get into what replaced OGRE until the next paragraph.

rearranged this section Sebquantic (talk) 00:41, 3 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Other notes

Distinguish between character attributes (Strength, Intellect, Agility) and character skills. What I've read leads me to believe this game has both, but they're both referred to as "skills" or "skill points."

fixed Sebquantic (talk) 00:41, 3 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]

~~I believe the Citations section should be called "References." You may just want to link to that PDF in the citation template, the first time the reference is used.~~

fixed based on Johannes Kepler Sebquantic (talk) 00:41, 3 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]

~~As I wrote earlier, try and cut down on the use of the word "happens," and take the quote marks off of some game terms.~~
~~You'll need alt text on your images too, per WP:ALT. It'll be the first thing you see in your FAN if you forget.~~

fixed Sebquantic (talk) 00:41, 3 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I didn't look over the last few sections. The whole article also needs a thorough copyedit, something I'm inclined to do myself. Just punctuation, sentence structure and such. That turned out pretty long, but I hope it helps. --gakon5 (talk) 21:08, 31 August 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for taking the time to review. I've worked on the skill system section some, and hopefully I'll get to the rest in the next few days. If you have the time for a copy edit please feel free! I'm obviously not a very experienced writer, so having a fresh set of eyes that knows what they're doing would be great. Sebquantic (talk) 02:05, 1 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I went through the introduction and the first three sections... then I got tired of it, haha. I picked up on a few more things, mostly clarifications for my sake, and the sake of the reader:

Fighting for military and political power on Rubi-Ka are the Omni-Tek corporation, owners of the planet's one thousand-year lease, the separatist Clans, terrorist groups, aliens, ancient civilizations, and other interested parties. What are they interested in?

military and political power. I guess that was kinda redundant, removed that last bit Sebquantic (talk) 03:35, 2 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I believe I've written this already, but: the word "skill" seems to encompass multiple things in this article: skills used in combat, "skill" as in proficiency in battle, and attributes (Strength, Magic, etc.), assuming this game has those. Try and clarify every use of the word "skill."

Hopefully this is a little clearer now. The process goes, according to the manual, "xp"->"levels"->"improvement points"->"skills points". I went ahead and merged the last two into just "skill points" since they basically are the same thing. There are "ability skills" (str, stam, int, etc.), but they are only marginally different than the others. Any one skill could be used in 3-4 different game mechanics, so its a little tricky so explain. I looked at The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind's similar section for ideas. Sebquantic (talk) 03:35, 2 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]

My question is if you dump points into individual abilities (active, passive, whatever) to make them better. That's what I get when I read that leveling up allows you to improve "skills." --gakon5 (talk)

Yes, that's how it works. Leveling gives you "skill points" that are placed into one of the 83 "skills". Sebquantic (talk) 04:45, 3 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]

According to the game's back story, the Source I was wondering at first if "Source" is a proper noun, but it would seem that's the case. Possibly clarify what the Source is, unless the game is intentionally vague about it.

It is pretty vague, I put "the Source" in quotes. Sebquantic (talk) 03:35, 2 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]

They probed deeper in an attempt to fix the problem, Deeper into what? How would such digging fix the problem?

This was also vague, fixed. Sebquantic (talk) 03:35, 2 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]

The survivors left in search of other habitable planets, including Earth, to plant human species in the hope that one would eventually return. I assume these guys were planting members of their own species on other planets, in hopes that one would prosper, and return to Rubi-Ka to... reinvigorate the planet? I don't know. Expand on this.

Expanded a little. I'm not sure if its explained exactly why they wanted humans to come, or if that's part of the ongoing story. Sebquantic (talk) 03:35, 2 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]

It was a seemingly useless, arid landscape far from civilization, until the discovery of the mineral notum Is notum capitalized or not? Minerals typically aren't I think, but maybe this game writes it out as a proper noun.

The synopsis on their website doesn't capitalize it. Sebquantic (talk) 03:35, 2 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]

The mineral's properties led to major leaps forward in nanotechnology Clarify that research of the mineral and its properties are what lead to leaps in technology.

Fixed Sebquantic (talk) 03:35, 2 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]

the company began importing colonists under contract. To do what?

Fixed Sebquantic (talk) 03:35, 2 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]

It was then that a significant number of workers rebelled, This "then" doesn't point to anything other than the creation of a totalitarian environment, which would be a broader span of time and not a specific event. Instead, write that this hostile environment caused the rebel.

Fixed Sebquantic (talk) 03:35, 2 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Anarchy Online's in-game timeline, as experienced by the players, began after the most recent peace treaty had been signed in 29,475. Between who?

Fixed Sebquantic (talk) 03:35, 2 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]

The game's current story revolves around the fight by all sides for control. Of what? Or maybe you already wrote that elsewhere...

Fixed Sebquantic (talk) 03:35, 2 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]

There are three game servers: two for native English speakers and one for native German speakers, each holding an identical copy of the game's 3D computer graphics|3D virtual world. I can't imagine it's a rule that you have to be a native speaker; instead, write "for English-speaking players."

Fixed Sebquantic (talk) 03:35, 2 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]

The final choice is that of the character's profession, similar to the character classes of other role-playing games Remember that you're writing for a non-gaming audience; it's not enough to explain a game term as being similar to another game term. You do write that some classes are better with some skills, but are there any other differences between them? Only the most broad things, of course.

Expanded on this some. Sebquantic (talk) 03:35, 2 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]

The game's multi-player nature and "free-form" gameplay encourage social networking, cooperation and conflict with others to do so. I wouldn't call social networking a "goal" that players achieve, by cooperating/competing with each other. I'm not sure how to re-phrase this; maybe drop the term social networking.

I was going for the idea that players end up making a network of friends to get things done. That should be backed up by the research paper in the reference. Not sure how to better word it though. Sebquantic (talk) 03:35, 2 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]

The leveling system also branches into three parallel systems named "perks", "alien perks" and "research" that each increase skills farther. If these are capitalized terms in-game, then capitalize them. Also, clarify what these are systems of. Systems of skills, I assume. And, once again, clarify what you mean by "skill."

not capitalized in game manual. Sebquantic (talk) 03:35, 2 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]

This has become quite the nitpick, but none of it is really grammar-related. I'll copyedit some more later. Don't worry about article length just yet; you have room to elaborate on gameplay concepts, to explain them in more plain terms. --gakon5 (talk) 21:24, 1 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]

The nitpicking is welcomed, as there hasn't been much outside input on it since last year. Let me know if some things still don't make sense. I'll start working on the rest soon. Sebquantic (talk) 03:35, 2 September 2009 (UTC)[reply]