Wikipedia:WikiProject Military history/Assessment/Charles Duke

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

Article promoted by CPA-5 (talk) via MilHistBot (talk) 11:20, 14 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Charles Duke

Instructions for nominators and reviewers

Nominator(s): Hawkeye7 (talk)

Featured article candidates/Charles Duke/archive1

Introducing Charles Duke. In April 1972, he became the tenth and youngest person to walk on the Moon, and the only one with an identical twin brother, distinctions he holds to this day. A 1957 graduate of the United States Naval Academy, he was a fighter pilot and test pilot before becoming an astronaut. In later life he sold a lot of beer. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 23:15, 27 December 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Comments Support by Zawed

Nicely constructed article, not much to really comment on here:

Lead: ...was promoted to Brigadier General in 1979 The rank isn't being used as part of his title so should be lower case.
Y Downcased. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 01:59, 19 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Air Force: Duke considered that his best career option to further his education,... this seems like a word or two is missing here. Should it be "career option was to further"
Y Add "was". Hawkeye7 (discuss) 01:59, 19 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Air Force: His first child, Charles Moss Duke III... The placement of this sentence, while I understand it is in chronological sequence with the surrounding content, impacts the flow of the narrative IMHO. I wonder if it would be better placed at the end of the paragraph in the context of "While Duke was stationed at Edwards, his first, Charles Moss Duke III was born."
Y Moved to the end of the paragraph. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 01:59, 19 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Apollo 16: ...saw what he thought was Duke around the pool suggest "saw who he thought was Duke around the pool".
Y Changed to "someone" Hawkeye7 (discuss) 01:59, 19 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Apollo 16: The launch was nominal" suggest "The launch was normal;" Also normally in the following sentence.
Y Corrected. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 01:59, 19 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Apollo 16: Duke became the tenth person to walk upon the surface of the Moon Maybe mention Young's status as moon walker (9th)?
Y Added. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 01:59, 19 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Apollo 16: ...concluded with a splashdown Pacific Ocean suggest "splashdown in the Pacific Ocean"
Y Added. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 01:59, 19 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]

I'm going to have a quick scan of my copy of Chaikin to see if there is anything significant that could be added. Otherwise the issues I picked up are minor as outlined in the comments above. Cheers, Zawed (talk) 01:33, 19 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for your review. I have addressed all your converns. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 01:59, 19 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]

All good, happy to support. Zawed (talk) 06:32, 27 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from AustralianRupert

Support: G'day, Hawkeye, nice work. I have the following comments/suggestions: AustralianRupert (talk) 06:26, 27 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]

in the lead, "promoted to Brigadier General in 1979": lower case brigadier general here per MOS:MILTERMS
Y Downcased. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 18:29, 27 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]
the following terms are overlinked: Apollo Lunar Module; Apollo 16; Colonel (United States); Boy Scouts of America;
YUnlinked. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 18:29, 27 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]
in the References, Colin Burgess is probably overlinked
YUnlinked. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 18:29, 27 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]
do we know his father's occupation before and after World War II?
Y He was an insurance salesman. Added, along with his mother's occupation as well. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 18:29, 27 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Duke considered that his best career option to further his education --> "Duke considered that his best career option was to further his education"?
Y Added. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 18:29, 27 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]
"enrol" --> "enroll" (in US English)?
Y Really? Okay. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 18:29, 27 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]
announced the names of the of 19 men --> "announced the names of the of 19 men"
Y Corrected. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 18:29, 27 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]
The Nineteen were divided into --> "The nineteen men were divided into"?
Y In Astronaut Group 5 I consistently refered to them as the Nineteen, but changed here. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 18:29, 27 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]
and asked Astronaut Office to send someone --> "and asked the Astronaut Office to send someone"?
Y Added. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 18:29, 27 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]
As a result of the delay... and then Because of the delay...: is there someway to vary the language here?
Y Replaced with concatenation. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 18:29, 27 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]
They went into training again in June 1972, just two months after Duke and Young had returned from the Moon. Suggest adding a short sentence here stating that the backup crew wasn't required and that Duke did not go into space again
Y Added. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 18:29, 27 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks Rupert. I think everything is covered. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 18:29, 27 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks, Hawkeye, nice work. Regards, AustralianRupert (talk) 03:41, 16 February 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Support Comments by JennyOz

Hello Hawkeye, my suggestions, questions and comments are...

Duke retired from NASA in December 1975, ibox and prose has January 1, 1976
Y Corrected. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 09:27, 1 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]
his local Congressman, James P. Richards, - no cap C?
Y Corrected. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 09:27, 1 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]
and had been accepted into the class of 1957 - this is graduation year? Would intake year look better?
It is the graduation year, and no; everyone is referred to be the graduation year, even while . Hawkeye7 (discuss) 09:27, 1 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Spence Air Force Base in Moultrie, Georgia for primary - geocomma
Y Added. Actually the geocomma is just a parenthetical comma. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 09:27, 1 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]
this was the height of the Cold War - 'at' the height?
Y Added. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 09:27, 1 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]
As part of his work, they got - change "his" to 'this' or 'their'?
Y Okay. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 09:27, 1 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]
over a week at the Rice Hotel - add in Houston?
Y Added. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 09:27, 1 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]
"Astronaut training included four months of studies" and "Some 30 hours of briefings" - I get confused re time apostrophes. Per "two weeks' orientation" and "six months' advanced training", but we don't use if 'of' appears? What about "He has logged 4,147 hours flying time" and "had logged 4,147 hours of flying time" (Sorry to ask but I can't find in MoS)
Y That's right. Added an apostrophe. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 09:27, 1 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]
C.C. Williams v C. C. Williams (space)
Y I think the former is correct. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 09:27, 1 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Remove space in latter?
Ooops. Removed. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 07:14, 2 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]
They frequently travelled to - one L
Y Deleted. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 09:27, 1 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]
which was a critical component of the mission that had to work for the astronauts to survive the mission - tweak to avoid 2 x mission
Y Deleted. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 09:27, 1 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]
practising and mastering them - US spelling 'practicing'
Y Corrected. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 09:27, 1 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]
It was unusual for someone to serve as CAPCOM on back-to-back missions, but for the same reason, Neil Armstrong - is that "same reason" the "familiarity" in prev para? If so, maybe insert 'familiarity' after "same"?
Y Added. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 09:27, 1 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]
When Apollo 16 was launched at 12:54 Eastern Standard Time (03:54 UTC) on April 14, 1972, - times iffy, only minus 5hrs diff EST to UTC? And date should be 16th. From Orloff, "The terminal countdown was picked up at T-28 hours at 03:54:00 GMT" and "Apollo 16 launched from Kennedy Space Center Launch Complex 39, Pad A, at a Range Zero time of 17:54:00 GMT (12:54:00 p.m. EST) on 16 April 1972."
Y Thanks for that. Corrected. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 09:27, 1 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]
environmental control system - wlink
Y Thanks for that. Linked. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 09:27, 1 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Cayley Plains - wlink Cayley Formation?
Y Thanks for that. Linked. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 09:27, 1 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Pacific Ocean at 19:45:05 UST on April 27 - UTC? "The parachute system effected splashdown of the CM in the Pacific Ocean at 19:45:05 GMT (02:45:05 p.m. EST) on 27 April." (same orloff link as above)
Y Corrected. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 09:27, 1 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]
during which Casper had travelled - one L
Y Corrected. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 09:27, 1 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Duke's family and bore this message: "This is the family... - this has different quote wording?
Y Corrected. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 09:27, 1 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]
in 2019,[103] In December 2019 - swap comma to full stop
Y Swapped. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 09:27, 1 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]
The Astronaut Monument - mention in Awards and honors? (It's in his Category.)
Y Phooey. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 09:27, 1 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]
and rendezvous on Apollo 10.[47][42] - ref order
Y Swapped. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 09:27, 1 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]
spacecraft flew on in formation.[72][68] - ref order
Y Swapped. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 09:27, 1 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]
and Floyd Cramer.[109][108][110] - ref order
Y Swapped. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 09:27, 1 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Inside Robert Earl Keen, Randy Rogers’ Fictional - straighten curly apostrophe
Y Straightened. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 09:27, 1 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Rolling Stone ref name=":1" - change ref name style?
Y Bot generated reference. Changed to match. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 09:27, 1 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]

I think that's all from me. JennyOz (talk) 07:02, 26 February 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the review. Astronauts are popular with the readers, bit not so much with the reviewers. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 09:27, 1 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]

One tweak above. Adding support and noting I have enjoyed reviewing them - looking forward to any more. JennyOz (talk) 05:08, 2 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]

G'day Nikkimaria, would you mind looking over the image licensing of this one please? Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 01:48, 6 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Image review

File:Charlie_Duke.jpg presents a problem wrt WP:WATERMARK
No problem with WP:WATERMARK which says "should" not "must". Commons and WMF have accepted it as a free image. See meta:Wikilegal/Removal of watermarks from Commons images for details. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 03:11, 6 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]
File:Apollo-16-LOGO.png: the source link provided claims "It has been authorized only for use by the astronauts. Its reproduction in any form other than in news, information and education media is not authorized without approval". Nikkimaria (talk) 02:02, 6 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]
I have removed the image. Kees08 mayy have some comment. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 03:11, 6 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Looks like the statement comes copied from the image page. I would think NASA's merchandising guidelines would trump that (an excerpt and link to it are lower on the page). I think we would be able to remove the information from the Permission field and put it back in the article. That's what we have done in similar reviews at least. Kees08 (Talk) 03:45, 6 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Okay, I've put it back. Could you do whatever needs doing on Commons? Hawkeye7 (discuss) 04:15, 6 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Source review The sources appear reliable and of high quality. The autobiography is used extensively, but for uncontroversial matters such as family life and not for anything that could be expected to be challenged. Good to go. Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 02:17, 6 March 2020 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.