Wikipedia:WikiProject Military history/Assessment/Arthur Phillip

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

No consensus to promote at this time - Hawkeye7 (talk) via MilHistBot (talk) 02:20, 16 August 2022 (UTC) « Return to A-Class review list[reply]

Arthur Phillip

Instructions for nominators and reviewers

Nominator(s): Knightmare 3112 (talk)

I am nominating this article for A-Class review because I'd like to get it to FA and at the peer review it was recommended nominating here first Knightmare 3112 (talk) 02:42, 25 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Nick-D

I'm surprised this review hasn't attracted more interest - you might want to advertise it at WT:AUSTRALIA. I'd like to offer the following comments:

"Serving under Captain Michael Everitt, Phillip also served" - bit repeditive
- Re-worded those couple sentences to not use serve so much
The second para of the lead should make some note of Phillip's policy towards and relationships with Indigenous Australians
- Noted the initial policy and relationships with the Indigenous Peoples
"Like his predecessor, Lord Germain, he turned to Phillip for advice" - the original advice doesn't seem to have been noted in the article?
- Re-worded that whole section hopefully makes better sense now
"Phillip, with Lieutenant Philip Gidley King, took charge of the 64-gun HMS Europa" - this is confusing. Stating what King's role was will clarify it.
- As above
" employed him to spy on the French naval arsenals at Toulon and other ports" - what did this involve?
Why was Phillip selected as the first governor of NSW?
"whose preference, it was to be supposed, would be requisite at all times" - over complex
- Re-worded, that was a direct quote from Hunter's book
The second para in the 'Voyage to Colony of New South Wales' section is currently unreferenced
There's a 'clarification needed' tag
"An annual service of remembrance is held at the church around Phillip's birthdate by the Britain–Australia Society." - needs a reference
The first two paras of the 'Legacy' section are unreferenced
There needs to be a broader discussion of the historiography covering Philip than just his ADB entry.
"Sam Neill in the 2005 film The Incredible Journey of Mary Bryant and David Wenham in the 2015 mini-series Banished" - needs a reference
- Added references for both

Nick-D (talk) 08:09, 17 April 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Knightmare 3112 ? Gog the Mild (talk) 20:23, 1 May 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Gog the Mild what? Knightmare 3112 (talk) 13:22, 2 May 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Have you responded to Nick-D's comments? Thanks. Gog the Mild (talk) 13:30, 2 May 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Not all of them as I don't currently have access to offline sources Knightmare 3112 (talk) 14:16, 2 May 2022 (UTC)[reply]

CPA

Can you merge the first paragraph with the second one?
"receive medical treatment for kidney stones" --> "receive medical treatment for his kidney stones"?
Maybe add his role in the Portuguese Navy in the lead?
"apprentice aboard Fortune, a 210-ton whaling vessel" Which kind of tons?
"ground for the erection of tents.[52][51][53]" Re-order the refs.
"receive replies to his dispatches from his superiors in London.[56][clarification needed]" There's a "clarification needed" template here?
"through gift-giving, hilarity, and dancing, but also by showing them what their guns could do.[72][38]" Re-order the refs here.

That's anything from me. Cheers. CPA-5 (talk) 11:39, 16 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.