Wikipedia:WikiProject Figure Skating/Assessment/Yuna Kim
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- Nominator(s): Figureskatingfan (talk)
Yuna Kim (edit | talk | history | links | watch | logs)
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I am nominating this article for A-Class review because the subject is important to figure skating and because I think it's ready to go through the very first A-Class review in the Figure Skating WikiProject. Christine (Figureskatingfan) (talk) 17:01, 8 May 2024 (UTC)
- Everyone, I would like to close this nomination, since no reviewers have touched it for several months. Perhaps we can try again later. Someone else will have to archive the closed nomination. Christine (Figureskatingfan) (talk) 19:09, 16 November 2024 (UTC)
Comments by Henni147
[edit]Review part I (May 2024)
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I'm happy to join this A-class review from Sunday onward. First notes:
My focus in this review will be on:
I will also take a look at the content and writing, but I recommend to have another reviewer with deeper knowledge about Yuna's career as well as a copy-editor for articles written in British English (as English is only my third language and I am more familiar with American English). Henni147 (talk) 17:24, 15 May 2024 (UTC) Quick update: I want to finish the revamp of our project page and the assessment guidelines first before starting this review, so it may take another day. I hope that is okay. Henni147 (talk) 14:29, 19 May 2024 (UTC) Review start: Finally, I got the time to start my A-class review! First of all, I want to express my appreciation for your fantastic work! I crossread the article, and it is some really fine work. I decided to tackle the structure issue first because that may come with the most work to fix:
These are my first main perceptions. I will take a more detailed look on the other aspects tomorrow. Henni147 (talk) 20:16, 20 May 2024 (UTC) @Artemisialufkin: Thank you very much for the quick changes! I will go through them later one-by-one. Here are some more comments on the article structure:
That's it for today. I will tackle the other points of the review tomorrow afternoon. Henni147 (talk) 17:38, 21 May 2024 (UTC)
Response to the "retirement" issue: If Kim has not officially announced her retirement from professional skating yet, we should skip the term "retirement" entirely from her article for the time being and use the format on the right for the infobox. Figure skating journalists labelling professional skaters as "retired" has been a very harmful practice for decades. Pro skaters have a hard time marketing their works because many people misinterpret "retirement" as complete retirement from figure skating and longer follow their careers by mistake. Since Wikipedia is one of the first websites that most people use for quick information about a public person, it is our responsibility to work in favor of the skaters and not make their lives harder. This may not be a big issue in the case of Kim, but we should be consistent in our practice. Note: I finally completed the work on our project page, so I will be able to fully tackle this A-class review from tomorrow onward. Henni147 (talk) 19:57, 23 May 2024 (UTC)
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First of all, I apologize for the long delay with this review. I had a very tough time with many hardships in my family, so I was forced to take a break from Wiki and other commitments.
I continue this review with the prose parts and use of images. The most important issues that need to be fixed are highlighted in red. Especially the comments in red boxes are must-do tasks that are mandatory for the promotion to A-class. Same goes for a brush-up of the lead section to the highest quality standard (FA-class), since it is the most-read part of the article together with the infobox. Comments in red and grey boxes should be checked for the full article. I can only give my support for A-class if the lead improvement and red tasks are fully completed.
Review part II: Lead section
- Note: I've implemented most of the changes in the rewritten lead below, with minor differences, which I've described after each suggestion.
- FS terminology note: "is a South Korean retired
competitivefigure skater". Stressing "competitive" here gives the wrong impression that Yuna was not a professional figure skater. You either say "competitive and professional" or skip both.
- As we've discussed before, the words "competitive" and "professional" are both unclear and misleading. Consequently, I think we should remove both. Christine (Figureskatingfan) (talk) 22:27, 4 September 2024 (UTC)
- Agree with skipping "competitive" here. That was my preferred change as well. Henni147 (talk) 15:20, 8 September 2024 (UTC)
- As we've discussed before, the words "competitive" and "professional" are both unclear and misleading. Consequently, I think we should remove both. Christine (Figureskatingfan) (talk) 22:27, 4 September 2024 (UTC)
- Link
two-time [[World Figure Skating Championships|World]] champion
in the first paragraph. - I suggest to bundle consecutive years to time spans, especially "2003–2006" for the national championship titles to keep the content in parentheses more compact.
- I suggest to place the sentence about the non-podium finishes at the top of the second paragraph, since it's also about competition placements, resulting in a more logical order of information. Also de-link "podium", which is a commonly known term.
- "Kim is the first South Korean figure skater
to medal at the [[Figure skating at the Olympic Games|Olympic Games]], World Championships, [[ISU Grand Prix of Figure Skating]], and [[ISU Junior Grand Prix]]
." In the case of records and firsts, it makes more sense to sort the competitions by notability, not in chronological order. Also de-link "World Figure Skating Championships" and shorten it to "World Championships", which is fully sufficient here. - "first skater
ever": remove "ever" to make the wording more neutral and professional in style.
- Also removed the word "also". Christine (Figureskatingfan) (talk) 22:27, 4 September 2024 (UTC)
- If you use the term "Super Slam", then also use and link "Golden Slam" for winning all major intl. senior competitions. Do not list up all competitions one-by-one here, it makes the paragraph very repetitive in wording.
- I have to disagree with this. The term "Golden Slam" is original research. It's not used by any of the sources in the article, and in general, I've never seen it used outside of Wikipedia. Artemisia (talk) 14:49, 5 September 2024 (UTC)
- @Artemisialufkin, @Henni147: Actually, ref78 refers to the Golden Slam, but only in its blurb and nowhere in the body of the source. I wasn't sure that this was the place to bring this up, but I've never liked the term. Artemisia is correct; I've never seen it anywhere outside of WP, except for that one obscure source, even if it is from the IOC. Personally, I think we shouldn't use it in WP articles and bios and delete the article about it. That's a WikiProject-wide discussion, though, but for this situation, I'd support removing the term from Kim's bio. I will go with what you two say about it, since you're this bio's reviewers. Christine (Figureskatingfan) (talk) 02:29, 6 September 2024 (UTC)
- I noticed that the ISU has used the term "Golden Slam" in some articles on their official website [see https://www.isu.org/search?q=Golden+Slam]. But I'm fine with skipping this semi-official term altogether. Henni147 (talk) 15:20, 8 September 2024 (UTC)
- I looked at about half of the search results of "Golden Slam" on the ISU website. Two of the results use the term, but only in the titles of the reports/articles, not in the body's content. The other results show up on the right navigation bar, linking the top two results. That might support our position, that the term isn't a common one. Removed all references to the term here. Christine (Figureskatingfan) (talk) 22:53, 8 September 2024 (UTC)
- I noticed that the ISU has used the term "Golden Slam" in some articles on their official website [see https://www.isu.org/search?q=Golden+Slam]. But I'm fine with skipping this semi-official term altogether. Henni147 (talk) 15:20, 8 September 2024 (UTC)
- "She is the former record holder for ..." → "Kim is a former record holder in all three competition segments in women's singles under the ISU Judging System. She has broken world records 11 times and became the first woman to score above 150 points in the free skating and 200 points in the combined total score."
- Added the words "segment in figure skating" after "free skating" to make it more clear. Christine (Figureskatingfan) (talk) 22:27, 4 September 2024 (UTC)
- FS TERMINOLOGY WARNING: The points that skaters receive for the short program, free skating, and combined total are called "scores", NOT "marks". A mark is only awarded by a single judge like +3 for an element or 8.00 for a component. Everything that is averaged across the full panel or calculated by the computer system is a score. This mistake needs to be fixed in the "Records and achievements" section as well.
- "She is also noted for her rivalry with three-time World champion Mao Asada from Japan, which headlined women's skating for two Olympic cycles until 2014." This addition explains and underlines the encyclopedic notability of their rivalry.
- I would've thought the link was enough to establish notability, but I'm okay with this change. I used the more grammatically correct "who" and removed the redundant "also". Christine (Figureskatingfan) (talk) 22:27, 4 September 2024 (UTC)
- I suggest to combine these sentences to one: "Known for her well-rounded skills, achievements, popularity, and impact on the sport, she is one of the most highly recognized athletes in South Korea and regarded as one of the greatest figure skaters in history, being commonly referred to as "Queen Yuna"." I also suggest to move this sentence either to the first paragraph after the first sentence or place it at the end of the third one after listing up all records, firsts, etc. It feels odd to place this information in the middle of various achievements.
- FS TERMINOLOGY WARNING: The term "artistry" is not an official term used by the ISU and should not be used in the lead section. In the prose part of the article, it is recommended to replace "artistry" by specific performing art skills, such as "choreography/composition skills", "carriage/dancing skills", "music interpretation", "acting skills" or "narration skills", in which the skater is notably strong (it hardly ever happens that a skater is skilled in all of them). "Artistry" is one of the most lightly used and abused terms by FS journalists. Hence, it is strongly recommended to only use it in direct quotes if at all.
- I see that you removed the word from the lead, which I don't hate. ;) I think we've dealt sufficiently with the issue in the article's body. Christine (Figureskatingfan) (talk) 22:27, 4 September 2024 (UTC)
- FS terminology note: Replace "skating shows" by the official term "ice shows" and link to the respective article. I also suggest to add a prominent example with All That Skate.
- For better readability, I recommend to change the wording and linking to
the ''[[Time (magazine)|Time]]'' magazine's annual list of the [[Time 100|World's 100 Most Influential People]] in 2010
.
Update: here is the full adjusted lead, including all suggestions from above, which may give a bit more clarity:
Full lead section with all suggestions implemented
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Yuna Kim (Korean: 김연아; born September 5, 1990), also credited in eastern name order as Kim Yuna or Kim Yeon-a, is a South Korean retired figure skater. Known for her well-rounded skills, achievements, popularity, and impact on the sport, she is one of the most highly recognized athletes in South Korea and regarded as one of the greatest figure skaters in history, being commonly referred to as "Queen Yuna".[1][2] Kim started skating at five years old and competed in women's singles from 2001 to 2014. She is the 2010 Olympic champion, the 2014 Olympic silver medalist, a two-time World champion (2009, 2013) the 2009 Four Continents champion, a three-time Grand Prix Final champion (2006, 2007, 2009), the 2006 World Junior champion, the 2005 Junior Grand Prix Final champion, and a six-time South Korean national champion (2003–2006, 2013, 2014). Kim never finished off the podium in her competitive career, becoming the first South Korean figure skater to medal at the Olympic Games, World Championships, ISU Grand Prix, and ISU Junior Grand Prix. She is also the first female single skater to complete the Golden Slam (senior level) and the first skater across all disciplines to complete the Super Slam (senior and junior level), having won every major international competition in the course of her career. She is a former record holder in all three competition segments in women's singles under the ISU Judging System, having broken world records 11 times and becoming the first woman to score above 150 points in the free skating and 200 points in the combined total score. Kim is also noted for her rivalry with three-time World champion Mao Asada from Japan, which headlined women's skating for two Olympic cycles until the 2014 Winter Olympics in Sochi. After her retirement from competitive figure skating in 2014, Kim was instrumental in the successful bid to bring the 2018 Winter Olympics to her home country in Pyeongchang. She also had a successful professional skating career, producing and appearing in several ice shows like All That Skate. Due to her sponsorships, Kim was one of highest-paid athletes in South Korea, well into her retirement. She was included in the Time magazine's annual list of the World's 100 Most Influential People in 2010 and in several Forbes lists. |
I must say: I think I don't hate, perhaps bordering on loving) the way you've rewritten your suggestions. One of my pet peeves about peer reviews on WP is how reviewers waste time (theirs and mine) making suggestions when they could just add them themselves. Christine (Figureskatingfan) (talk) 23:01, 4 September 2024 (UTC)
Review part III: Prose parts of article body
- Early life:
- I suggest to move the paragraph about Yuna's name to the top of the section, placing it before or after the date/place of birth. Its current position feels very out-of-context.
- Style note: Make sure to use the {{lang}} template for text with Korean characters as shown in the draft below.
- "... born to father Kim Hyeon-seok, a business owner, and mother Park Mi-hee." It's always helpful to clarify who is who.
- I disagree with this suggestion. WP bios don't tend to mention nationalities, unless the subject's ethic origin is different. For example, you wouldn't say something like, "Christine [last name] was born in the U.S., she is American." However, you would say that I was born in the U.S. and that my ethnicity is Irish and German. (See 1st paragraph of Johnny Weir.
- Is the name of the sister known? If yes, it may be added at first mention as well.
- I also disagree with this. I don't think that her sister's name is known, but see WP:BLPNAME. I did break this policy in Weir's bio, but his brother is also a public figure and has appeared on TV shows with Johnny. Christine (Figureskatingfan) (talk) 04:34, 5 September 2024 (UTC)
- If the sister was not introduced to the public or mentioned by mainstream media by name, then yes, I fully agree not to add it. Henni147 (talk) 15:20, 8 September 2024 (UTC)
- I also disagree with this. I don't think that her sister's name is known, but see WP:BLPNAME. I did break this policy in Weir's bio, but his brother is also a public figure and has appeared on TV shows with Johnny. Christine (Figureskatingfan) (talk) 04:34, 5 September 2024 (UTC)
- "Kim began skating at the age of five, at a neighborhood rink with her sister." Move this sentence to the beginning of the section's last paragraph before talking about the coaches, and remove the line break between the first two paragraphs. This gives a more clear structure: "Name/birth - Parents/influences - Started skating/coaches".
- Influences: I suggest to bundle them in one sentence "She named American figure skaters Michelle Kwan and Sasha Cohen as well as Brian Joubert, Stéphane Lambiel, and Tomáš Verner as her influences." I see little value in separating them by the year of mentioning.
- FS terminology note: Unless very repetitive within a paragraph, it is recommended to add "Summer/Winter" for competitions at the Olympics. In this case, "2010 Vancouver Olympics" should be changed to "2010 Winter Olympics in Vancouver" and "1980 Olympics" to "1980 Winter Olympics".
- "Her muscles and body structure are perfect for skating." I would definitely add this as a direct quote from the Time article to make clear that the word "perfect" was explicitely used by the coaches and is not a paraphrasation. Especially when it comes to sensitive topics like body shape, we need to be very careful with wording.
- FS terminology note: At first mention, technical elements should be fully spelled out and linked, in this case "toe loop jump" instead of "toe loop". Casual readers may not know that the toe loop is a jump element. Since the Axel is mentioned in the same context, it is sufficient to write "triple Axel" only.
- I also made some adjustments in wording, but it's too tiring to list them here one-by-one. If needed, I can mark the changes in the draft below.
- I agree with doing things this way, as per my comment above. I would've been fine with (since it's how I handle my reviews) you making copyedits in the article and then writing a detailed edit summary. Christine (Figureskatingfan) (talk) 04:47, 5 September 2024 (UTC)
Early life section with all suggestions implemented
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Kim was born on September 5, 1990,[3] in Gyeonggi Province, South Korea, in the northern part of the country.[4] The correct transliteration of her name is "Kim Yeon-a" (김연아).[5] However, when Kim applied for a passport, the official misspelled her given name as "Yu-na" (유나) instead of "Yeon-a" (연아).[6] Since her competitive days, she asked international media to refer to her as "Yuna Kim" instead of "Kim Yu-na".[7] Kim was born to Korean father Kim Hyeon-seok, a business owner, and mother Park Mi-hee. She also has an older sister [named X].[8] Her mother, whom The Korea Times called "indisputably the No. 1 contributor to Kim's phenomenal success",[8] took an active role in her daughter's skating career from the beginning, driving her to the ice rink each day, attending all of her practices, and acting as her coach, manager, spokesperson, and mentor. She played English cassette tapes in the car to help Kim improve her English skills. Kim's family often struggled to fund her skating expenses; when her father's business was not doing well enough to pay for her lessons, they put up their house as collateral for a bank loan.[8][9] Kim's father chose to remain out of media attention, choosing to watch her skate on television along with her sister instead of accompanying Kim to international competitions. Both parents, however, attended the 2010 Winter Olympics in Vancouver.[8][9] Kim credited both of them with her success as a figure skater. She also named American figure skaters Michelle Kwan and Sasha Cohen as well as Brian Joubert, Stéphane Lambiel, and Tomáš Verner as her influences.[10][11][12] Kim began skating at the age of five at a local rink with her sister.[13][14] Former ice dancer Ryu Jong-hyun coached Kim between the ages of seven and ten, and former single skater Shin Hea-sook, who competed for South Korea at the 1980 Winter Olympics, guided her between 10 and 12 years old. Kim later said that Ryu and Shin both helped her, from the start of her skating career, to become who she was both technically and spiritually.[15] Ryu suggested to Kim's mother, who noticed early on that there was something special about her daughter's skating, that Kim may receive formal training in figure skating.[8][16][13] In an interview from 2011, she gave credit to her coaches for noticing and developing her aptitude for skating, who also told her that "her muscles and body structure are perfect for skating". Kim herself added, "I was born with a good instrument, maybe more so than the talent".[9] Ryu cited Kim's work ethic, especially her hard work, dedication, and commitment to practice for her success.[16] She landed her first triple toe loop jump at the age of 10 and, except for the triple Axel, she was able to perform all types of triple jumps cleanly two years later.[4] During her middle school years, her boots often did not fit her as she matured, suffering many injuries, including a period when she had to rest for a month after a pelvic-muscle injury.[17] References
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- Early career:
- Change "She also won the 2003 Golden Bear" to "She also placed first at the 2003 Golden Bear" to reduce the number of sentences with "won" and make the wording less repetitive.
- 2004–05 season:
- Since Mao Asada is nowhere mentioned in this section, I suggest to move or remove the image on the right.
- "In the 2004–05 season, Kim competed ..." → "In the 2004–05 season, Kim attended her first international competition in the ISU Junior Grand Prix, having won a gold medal at the 2004 JGP Hungary. It was the first time for a Korean skater to win a Junior Grand Prix event."
- I think it's better to continue using the word "competed" because, well, you could say this about me: "Christine attended her first U.S. Nationals in 2007 in Spokane, Washington." Yes, that's true, but I attended Nationals and Kim attended the Junior GP for very different reasons. The sentence with the word "having" is ambiguous and grammatically incorrect because it improperly uses a participial phrase. It implies that she competed at the GP because she won the gold medal in Hungary, which she did not. I'd like to keep those sentences as is, please. Christine (Figureskatingfan) (talk) 05:50, 5 September 2024 (UTC)
- Yes, I agree with your points. Henni147 (talk) 15:20, 8 September 2024 (UTC)
- I think it's better to continue using the word "competed" because, well, you could say this about me: "Christine attended her first U.S. Nationals in 2007 in Spokane, Washington." Yes, that's true, but I attended Nationals and Kim attended the Junior GP for very different reasons. The sentence with the word "having" is ambiguous and grammatically incorrect because it improperly uses a participial phrase. It implies that she competed at the GP because she won the gold medal in Hungary, which she did not. I'd like to keep those sentences as is, please. Christine (Figureskatingfan) (talk) 05:50, 5 September 2024 (UTC)
- "She earned an overall score ..." → "She placed first in both competition segments, the short program and the free skating, scoring a combined total of 148.55 points." It is recommended to use the official term "combined total" at first mention.
- Followed suggestion, although I added the word "program" after "free skating" because "the free skating" is ungrammatical. Christine (Figureskatingfan) (talk) 05:50, 5 September 2024 (UTC)
- "The free skating" is correct if it refers to the full competition segment, which is the case here. "Free skate program" makes no sense here because you cannot place first in a single program. Henni147 (talk) 15:20, 8 September 2024 (UTC)
- Oh now I see the point you were making. Placements in SP and FS are listed in every ISU results of every competition; for example, see here. [1] They're also reported on in this way by most news outlets. Christine (Figureskatingfan) (talk) 23:06, 8 September 2024 (UTC)
- "The free skating" is correct if it refers to the full competition segment, which is the case here. "Free skate program" makes no sense here because you cannot place first in a single program. Henni147 (talk) 15:20, 8 September 2024 (UTC)
- Followed suggestion, although I added the word "program" after "free skating" because "the free skating" is ungrammatical. Christine (Figureskatingfan) (talk) 05:50, 5 September 2024 (UTC)
- I suggest to replace the word "error" by "mistake", but it's not a must.
- I'd like to keep "error", please, because in sports, one makes errors, but the rest of us normal humans make mistakes.
- FS terminology note: Replace "triple-triple combination" by "combination of two triple jumps". Especially at first mention, it is important for casual readers to know that "combination" refers to jumps here, not spins or other types of elements.
- Thanks for catching this. I've realized that I need to be more specific in describing elements (i.e., using the term "jumps" in this instance) and have tried to repair my mistakes (har-har), but I missed it here. Christine (Figureskatingfan) (talk) 05:50, 5 September 2024 (UTC)
- "... because she was under the age of 15." → "because she didn't meet the required age minimum of 15 [years]."
- Nice clarification. I added the word "old" at the end of the sentence to make it that much clearer. Watch your contractions! ;) Christine (Figureskatingfan) (talk) 05:50, 5 September 2024 (UTC)
- FS terminology note: "after her short program" → "after the short program". We are talking about the full competition segment here, not an individual program.
- FS TERMINOLOGY WARNING: The element "triple combination jump" does not exist. It has to be "triple-triple jump combination", but it's better to specify here the type of triples, using either "[jump] combination of two triple toe loops" or spell out the exact name of the combination: "triple toe loop-triple toe loop [jump] combination".
- Okay. I went with your first suggestion because the source doesn't specify the combination's exact name. Christine (Figureskatingfan) (talk) 05:50, 5 September 2024 (UTC)
- FS terminology note: "Junior World Championships" is incorrect. It has to be "World Junior Championships".
- Content note: Apparently, Yuna placed second three times that season, but it's nowhere mentioned in the section who defeated her. To make the content and wording less repetitive and more interesting to read, I recommend to name the skaters who finished ahead of her and focus on notable results like personal bests, season's bests, world records, large victory margins or unusually weak performances to Yuna's standards. Especially SP/FS scores should be mentioned sparsely.
- This brings up a conundrum we editors face, and not just with figure skating articles. We follow the sources, right? When the sources cite SP and FS scores, it's because they consider it important enough to mention, so we should also cite them in our bios. The sources often mention her competitors, but they don't compare their scores with hers; if we did, that's using conjecture, something we shouldn't do. I agree that this way is often repetitive, but it follows what editors in other sports do. I mean, there's only so many times you can say, "Babe Ruth hit homeruns in this game."
- Yes, this is a huge issue, indeed. Sports journalists can make very weird content choices at times, skipping so many important information. I got so mad about the amount of time that media wasted on the "Pooh-rain" instead of focussing on Hanyu's actual skating, but that's how it is. Henni147 (talk) 15:20, 8 September 2024 (UTC)
- I agree, but that's just so darn cute. One of my Facebook friends asked why people threw stuffed animals and gifts on the ice after a performance, and although I couldn't answer the question because I didn't know, I did post a YouTube clip of it happening and she was pretty impressed. Part of me wishes people in the U.S. went as nuts about skaters as they do in Asia. But that's a digression for another time. Christine (Figureskatingfan) (talk) 23:10, 8 September 2024 (UTC)
- This brings up a conundrum we editors face, and not just with figure skating articles. We follow the sources, right? When the sources cite SP and FS scores, it's because they consider it important enough to mention, so we should also cite them in our bios. The sources often mention her competitors, but they don't compare their scores with hers; if we did, that's using conjecture, something we shouldn't do. I agree that this way is often repetitive, but it follows what editors in other sports do. I mean, there's only so many times you can say, "Babe Ruth hit homeruns in this game."
- 2005–06 season:
- Section title: "Junior World champion" is incorrect. Change it either to "World Junior champion" (recommended) or use lowercase for "World".
- FS terminology note: "Kim was first in the junior-level rankings" → which rankings? ISU World Standings or ISU Season's World Ranking or ISU Season's Best Ranking? This needs to be specified and linked to the respective article. Also, what does "For the 2005–06 season" mean? Was Yuna first at the start or end of the 2005–06 season? If it's the end of the season, then I suggest to move this information to the end of this sub-section.
- The source is there, ref28, which doesn't say which ranking, just that she was ranked first by the time of the competition discussed, the GP Final. You're right, though, so I moved the ranking info to the end of the paragraph and removed that first phrase. Christine (Figureskatingfan) (talk) 05:50, 5 September 2024 (UTC)
- "She lacked the corporate sponsorship to pay for her training and participation costs, so she experienced financial difficulties;" → "[However], she experienced financial difficulties due to lack of sponsorship, struggling to pay the costs for training and competitions;" This sentence structure improves the connection with the previous one.
- Since I changed the previous sentence, is this change necessary anymore? Christine (Figureskatingfan) (talk) 05:50, 5 September 2024 (UTC)
- Right. In this case, the change is not needed.
- Since I changed the previous sentence, is this change necessary anymore? Christine (Figureskatingfan) (talk) 05:50, 5 September 2024 (UTC)
- "competed at the 2005–06 Junior Grand Prix" → "participated in the 2005–06 Junior Grand Prix [series]". This change makes the wording of the paragraph less repetitive.
- Link "2005–06 Junior Grand Prix Final" to 2005–06 Grand Prix of Figure Skating Final.
Review part IV: Layout and style
- IMAGE WARNING: Make sure to add an alternative text for all images as per MOS:ALT to make screenreaders and similar tools work properly. This is mandatory for articles to be promoted to FA/A/GA class. If the image caption sufficiently describes the content displayed in the image, set
|alt=Refer to caption
without a full stop. Here are two examples for correct usage:[[File:2008 World Championships Banquet21.jpg|thumb|upright|alt=Refer to caption|Kim with [[Mao Asada]] (right), 2008]]
[[File:Opening_ceremony_DVo-tC7U0AAPyz3.jpg|thumb|left|alt=Distant night shot of the Olympic cauldron at Pyeongchang Olympic Stadium|[[2018 Winter Olympics opening ceremony]], after Kim lit the Olympic cauldron]]
- IMAGE WARNING: Remove images with watermarks from the article as per WP:WATERMARK. One of them is in the section about the 2013–14 season.
- CAPTION WARNING: Make sure to be consistent with the format of image captions, using either full sentences with a full stop or sentence fragments without a full stop. The latter is recommended and also more used in this article.
Example: "Kim performing her free skate to Les Misérables at the 2013 World Championships." ← remove the full stop here as it is not a full sentence (only a fragment) - I suggest to add the parameter
|upright
for vertical images to make them less bulky. Example:[[File:2008 World Championships Banquet21.jpg|thumb|upright|alt=Refer to caption|Kim with [[Mao Asada]] (right), 2008]]
- Caption note: For images with multiple people, place "(left)", "(right)" or "(center)" after the respective person's name in the caption. Yuna herself does not need to be marked.
Example for correct usage: "Yuna Kim, Mao Asada (left), and Joannie Rochette (right) at the 2010 Winter Olympics podium" (no full stop at the end)
That's it for now. I will continue the review later. Henni147 (talk) 09:33, 3 September 2024 (UTC)
- @Henni147, I have now completed addressing your feedback. Waiting to hear about more. Thanks for your thoroughness! Christine (Figureskatingfan) (talk) 03:00, 6 September 2024 (UTC)
- @Henni147LOL, Henni, I just want to say you're amazingly methodical with your reviews! Editor120918756 (talk) 11:29, 8 September 2024 (UTC)
- Thank you very much! Generally, I prefer not to do copy-edits in the article itself (English is only my third language and I don't want to mess up your good work). If you like my solution with the collapsed drafts, I can add them for the following sections as well.
- I'm very pleased with the lead section now. Just two small comments:
- "first woman to score above 150 points in the free skating segment in figure skating and 200 points in the combined total score." → I would skip "in figure skating" here. The wording makes it sound as if only the free skating score was a figure skating score and the combined total wasn't. Since Kim is a former figure skater, it's natural that we are talking about figure skating scores here.
- "Kim is noted for her rivalry with three-time World champion Mao Asada from Japan, who headlined women's skating" → I would prefer to use "which" or "that" here. "Who" can be misunderstood in a way that only Asada headlined those two cycles, but it's the rivalry of the two that headlined this period.
- The reviewed prose sections until the 2005–06 season look perfect now. Only thing that should be changed: Remove "program" after "free skating" in the 2004–05 section. The offical name of the full competition segment is "the free skating" or "the free skating segment". "The free skate program" only refers to a single program within that competition segment. We must be careful with correct terminology there.
- @Henni147LOL, Henni, I just want to say you're amazingly methodical with your reviews! Editor120918756 (talk) 11:29, 8 September 2024 (UTC)
I will check the remaining prose sections next week. The last days have been very tough with my father's stomach surgery. And I witnessed a man being hit full force by an arriving tube at my local subway station on Friday (turned out that it was a 33-year old shoplifter who tried to escape the police; I'm still a bit in shock). Henni147 (talk) 15:20, 8 September 2024 (UTC)
- Yes I agree, so thorough! My response to your language concerns: Pshaw! Non-native speakers of English say that kind of thing a lot, but the facts don't bear you out. I mean, you make just as many grammar errors as I, a native English speaker do, and you've been kind enough to point them out when you see them. And you should, and I should point them out in your writing when I see them, too. That's one of the things we do for each other as reviewers. I've already tried to include what's in your collapsed drafts, but feel free to add anything I've missed. I'm sorry about your recent traumas, but grateful that your father went ahead with his surgery and that you're generous with your time here. We all go through sh*t, including yours truly. I made the two changes you've requested. Thanks again. Christine (Figureskatingfan) (talk) 23:29, 8 September 2024 (UTC)
- Hi @Henni147, pinging you because we're still waiting for you to complete this assessment, as you promised. Hope all is well. Christine (Figureskatingfan) (talk) 20:38, 6 October 2024 (UTC)
Comments by Apqaria
[edit]I am glad to join this project. While I am very familiar with Yuna's career, I want to focus in my review on the article's contents. I will try to go through it in detail starting this weekend to see how the info matches the references included in the article. Hope this will help even if a little for this project. Apqaria (talk) 23:10, 24 May 2024 (UTC)
Review part I
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I have started my review and here are some points I found till now:
She is the first female skater ever to win every major international competition, namely, the Olympic Games, the World Championships, the Four Continents Championships, and the Grand Prix Final. She is also the first figure skater ever to complete a Super Slam, having won every major senior and junior competition.
In 2010, Philip Hersh reported that when Kim was 7 years old, her family struggled to pay for her skating lessons.
https://www.ifsmagazine.com/yuna-kim-riding-a-golden-wave/
Apqaria (talk) 22:59, 26 May 2024 (UTC)
More review points
Apqaria (talk) 22:37, 2 June 2024 (UTC)
More review points Before I mention my points, I am again mentioning that I am only focusing in my review on the content of the article not much about any policy or structure issues since I am not that experienced to be fully aware of those. Also please note that like I mentioned when I received the invitation to join this project, I may not be quick in my responses as my time is limited to times on weekends to do this review. Now, here are my points:
Apqaria (talk) 00:29, 8 June 2024 (UTC) Everyone, I'm thinking about what to do to cut the word count. What do you think about removing Kim's scores, since they can be accessed in both the results table and in the sources? If acceptable, I'll go ahead and do it. More to come. Christine (Figureskatingfan) (talk) 18:28, 11 June 2024 (UTC)
More review points Sorry that I couldn't do much review in the last couple of weeks but please find my latest comments
http://www.koreatimes.co.kr/www/news/nation/2010/04/136_61499.html
https://www.nytimes.com/2011/04/30/sports/30iht-skating30.html
Apqaria (talk) 20:44, 1 July 2024 (UTC)
Need for third reviewer
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Final review points
I am finally done with my review. Sorry that it took longer than I anticipated but please find below my final comments
- These articles should be marked as live
- https://sports.news.naver.com/news.nhn?oid=003&aid=0000474378
- https://www.japantimes.co.jp/sports/2018/08/21/figure-skating/choreography-legend-david-wilson-man-demand/
- https://www.reuters.com/article/us-olympics-korea-reaction/pyeongchang-pick-themselves-up-after-2014-loss-idUSSP27080820070705/
- https://www.koreatimes.co.kr/www/sports/2010/05/600_66079.html
- https://www.chicagotribune.com/sports/ct-xpm-2011-07-06-chi-vote-for-2018-winter-games-over-in-one-round-20110706-story.html
- http://www.espn.com/olympics/winter/2014/figureskating/story/_/id/10490435/2014-sochi-olympics-russian-adelina-sotnikova-wins-gold-yu-na-kim-2nd-gracie-gold-4th/
- The link to Super Slam in the Records and achievements section should go directly to the Super Slam section ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grand_Slam_(figure_skating)#Super_Slam ) instead of the overall Grand Slam page
Apqaria (talk) 17:05, 19 July 2024 (UTC)
- All done. Um, I have a question 'cause I'm just curious. Why did you have me change the URL status of those links? It's my understanding that when a link is live (i.e., when it's not dead), you don't have to include that its status is live. Like I said, just curious. Now it looks like we're waiting for Henni to chime in to finish her review. Christine (Figureskatingfan) (talk) 05:19, 21 July 2024 (UTC)
- If you add archive URL, you have to specify the status of the link. Otherwise if you clicked on the reference it leads to the archive version not the original one. Apqaria (talk) 01:18, 22 July 2024 (UTC)