Wikipedia:Requests for feedback/2010 June 1

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Beijing Capital Airlines

need help with this article. thank you. —Preceding unsigned comment added by 129.78.64.101 (talk) 02:57, 1 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I think you should try and add a bit more information to the infobox, if you can. Perhaps some brief details about the destinations (Europe, North America, etc) but please make sure you have references for it. I think the tone of the article is OK, there doesn't seem to be any problems there and I don't think it sounds like an advertisement anywhere in the article. I do think you need a few more references for some details, such as in the second paragraph and for the infobox. If you already have references for these sections and they're after the 'Capital Airlines', I think that you should space them out a little more through the article. Hope this helps and if you have any more questions feel free to ask. Thanks! Chevy monte carlo 06:50, 1 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Note → This user has only made one edit and might be looking for someone to expand the article instead of feedback.

Hello! I saw that your IP address has only made one edit and linked Chinese government I linked it like this: [[Government of the People's Republic of China|Chinese Government]] so that it still says "Chinese Government" but it goes to Government of the People's Republic of China. I hope that helped a little bit. If you forgot to log in, then feel Chevymontecarlo made some good suggestions. Regards, Captain n00dle \^Talk 08:34, 1 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Oops, sorry. I gave some points to any other users who want to improve the article though - I haven't got the time at the moment to work on the article, I'm afraid. Sorry. Chevy monte carlo 10:10, 1 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Drug Addicts Anonymous

Artcile: Drug Addicts Anonymous Requesting user: 101Bullets (talk · contribs)

User requests on talkpage and on user talk that we provide him with some feedback! ^_^ Captain n00dle \^Talk 12:28, 1 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Feedback from Captain n00dle \^Talk: Hello!

At the moment not very many other pages link to this one, you could add links from other pages to Drug Addicts Anonymous
Your article still may be deleted because it doesn't show its notability, you can't just link to the DAA website, you have to reference third party sources like news articles that mention the association, one bad example might be this: www.patient.co.uk/... These might be others: [1] [2] [3] [4]

Your external links should be formatted like this: * [http://drugaddictsanonymous.org.uk/ DAA UK Website]
The tone of the article lead sounds okay, but the rest sounds like an advertisement.
You need to reference this different version of "The Twelve Steps of Drug Addicts Anonymous"
You should avoid words like "probably" see WP:WEASEL
You've put this article into a category that doesn't exist, find better categories here: Portal:Contents/Categorical index

I hope these are some useful comments! Regards, Captain n00dle \^Talk 12:57, 1 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

REPLY

Thank you that provides very clear points for action. I will attend to these suggestions in the coming days and weeks 101Bullets (talk) 14:19, 1 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Construction Imaging Systems

Construction Imaging Systems user:Sunset99/Construction Imaging Systems

Informational article about Construction Imaging Systems. I would appreciate any comments/suggestions you may have to improve this aricle.

Sunset99 (talk) 14:57, 1 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

As the template note, "This article is written like an advertisement." Also see Peacock. I'm sorry I haven't provided specific suggestions, and my apologies if this is harsh, but I see almost nothing worth saving. It is a PR release masquerading as an encyclopedia article --SPhilbrick T 15:45, 1 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

"This article is written like an advertisement." - I agree. AlanDewey (talk) 18:15, 1 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Switchboard of Miami

Hello, I have recently completed a wiki article on Switchboard of Miami, Inc., a nonprofit organization in Miami, FL that is near to my heart. I would like to seek some further advice on any corrections I might need to make or changes that are necessary to comply with Wikipedia's standards. In the article, I discuss the organization's credentials, history, background and body of work. I hope my sources, formatting and adherence to site policy are appropriate.

Thank you.

GiancarloRusso (talk) 17:58, 1 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Any criticisms? They should be included to correspond with WP:NPOV. --Chemicalinterest (talk) 12:15, 2 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

California Institute of Social Business (CISB)

Greetings. I just wrote a basic entry for the California Institute of Social Business (CISB). http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/California_Institute_of_Social_Business_(CISB)

This is a new research center at the California State University, Channel Islands. This entry is currently a brief outline of the institute and will be updated as things unfold in the coming months.

I appreciate your review.

Thanks —Preceding unsigned comment added by Ifoundglory (talk • contribs) 00:30, 2 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I think this article is OK, but there are a few problems...

Try and add a few more references if you can, preferably not to sites that are affiliated with the article's subject as they can cause tone problems in the article, i.e. it can make it sound like an advertisement. However, links like this can go in an "External links" section instead.
There are a few tone problems in the article in places. Articles on Wikipedia are supposed to be neutral in tone, otherwise they sound like an advertisement and therefore are less useful to the reader. Please try and improve the tone of the article - things like 'actively promote' and 'encouraging business' are not really ideal. Chevy monte carlo 17:04, 2 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]

You can find more information about how your article should sound by looking at WP:SPAM. Chevy monte carlo 17:05, 2 June 2010 (UTC)[reply]