Wikipedia:Requests for feedback/2010 July 10

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Jonah Kumalae

Looking for anyone with additional information on Jonah Kumalae, ukulele maker in the 1920s. Also, any feedback on how to upload photos, and general opinions of article layout.

~~NoOneGrandSon (talk) 01:15, 10 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Pretty good. Have you read Wikipedia:Manual of Style (layout) and Wikipedia:Manual of Style (biographies)? I can't see much wrong myself... minor comment - the section names should all be in lower case, except the very first letter and the first letter of proper nouns. i.e "Ukulele maker" not "Ukulele Maker".

As a new user, you can't upload images to Wikipedia. I think you can upload them at commons though and then still use them here.

Yaris678 (talk) 18:17, 10 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I would also consider using an infobox - that way you'd be able to summarise all the key information about this guy and embed the picture directly in there as well. Take a look at Template:Infobox person. Chevy monte carlo 05:00, 11 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

On the subject of additional information, you could try asking at Wikipedia talk:WikiProject Hawaii. Yaris678 (talk) 19:04, 11 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

How do I imbed the image in the infobox? Does not seem to work. Is this because I am still too new of a user? NoOneGrandSon (talk)

Have you uploaded it? What is it called? Yaris678 (talk) 23:56, 12 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

User:Pirtak/FutureSkills High School

This is my first article in Wikipedia about FutureSkills High School. Your feedback is highly appreciated.

~~Pirtak (talk) 03:20, 10 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I have made some basic changes but is still needs more work. I think you need to learn more about how to cite sources in Wikipedia. Also, take a look at The Abbey School for an example of how you can structure an article on a school. Yaris678 (talk) 18:44, 10 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Please also consider adding an infobox to the article at the top, such as Template:Infobox school. Chevy monte carlo 04:57, 11 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

You might also check out Wikipedia:Referencing for beginners--SPhilbrick T 17:13, 11 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barend_van_Niekerk

General comments welcome - my first Wikipedia article

~~Jonpost1 (talk) 09:13, 10 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Make the language a lot more neutral. I am sure he was a great guy, but if you stick to the facts this will shine through. For example, you don't need to say he was a brilliant jurist or a gifted linguist. Yaris678 (talk) 18:53, 10 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I think you should also consider adding sections and perhaps an infobox to the article - try taking a look at Template:Infobox person or something like that. Chevy monte carlo 04:55, 11 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Wikipedia articles have a specific structure to them, specified in a guideline called Layout (Click on the link to see the details). --SPhilbrick T 17:15, 11 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bob_Mader

This is a new page I have created. Everything has come from sources which I believe are reliable but I'd be interested in a review to check that all is OK! Thanks.

~~Juliet tree (talk) 10:13, 10 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Nice article! Well-written, and I can see you've put a lot of work into it. The only thing I might suggest is a few more independent references to help in the notability and referencing areas to make sure the article is square with Wikipedia's guidelines on each. See wp:Reliable references and wp:GNG for more information about both subjects. Other than that, though, very well done! :) Pianotech (talk) 11:56, 10 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Do you - Pianotech - or anyone else know how I go about getting the "unreviewed article" box at the top of the page? Thanks Juliet tree (talk) 01:56, 14 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Removed it for you. :) Piano tech 11:31, 14 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Shadi A. Karam

does this article meet wiki standards for notable people

Nickbiddlenoe (talk) 12:21, 10 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I have edited your post, above, because the title was unhelpful and some of the text was hidden.

In answer to your question, I think the article does meet the WP:Notability standards because it has several sources that seem to be independent. I notice that User:Christopher Connor is questioning the reliability of the sources. Can you think why this might be? I don't know anything about those sources myself. Are any of them from companies owned by Karem? Are any of them known for writing puff pieces about whoever pays them?

To me, the biggest issue with the article is how it is written. It is too much like a like a résumé. Take a look at Wikipedia:Manual of Style (biographies).

Yaris678 (talk) 17:41, 10 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Davis_Barnett

Hi there. I just finished my first article--JD Barnett--and I am trying to do this well. I am looking for feedback. I used the Create Article Wizard, but must have been confused about one of the options, because I wanted feedback before it was published and not after. However, that having been said, I have added links, internal and external, as suggested, but would like to have the article reviewed. Can you help with the correct procedure to do this. Thanks so much

~~CJ_WeißSchäfer 15:15, 10 July 2010 (UTC)

Very good article! You've put a lot of work in it and it shows. It's well-referenced too, which is always good. You might want to consider an infobox as a finishing touch, but you've done very good work. :) Pianotech (talk) 15:33, 10 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Yeah, a very good article. I made a couple of minor changes. You could ask at Wikipedia talk:WikiProject History of Canada to see if anyone wants to give a hand. I don't know how active that WikiProject is but if you don't get any response, you could try Wikipedia talk:WikiProject Canada. Yaris678 (talk) 19:14, 10 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

John Rinne

I am posting this request 'on behalf' of a new Wikipedian, Kybihetz21 (talk · contribs), who wrote this via the AFC process.

I believe the subject to be notable, so I accepted the AFC, but the user explained they do not know how to format it; I hope that someone reading this will be able to improve the article directly, a little. Thanks,

~~ Chzz ► 18:49, 10 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Well, I corrected a few things, although I'm not sure whether that's what the user wants. Chevy monte carlo 04:46, 11 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]