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July 16

Bond girls

Have there been any Bond girls who rejected James Bond's sexual advances completely? I don't mean characters like Kissy Suzuki, Anya Amasova or Wai Lin, who kept their distance during the mission but got in bed with him afterward, but someone who rebuffed him altogether, mission or no mission. (Also, I don't include Miss Moneypenny, with whom he never really tried to go all the way, or M, who's too old for that in any case.) 24.5.122.13 (talk) 08:23, 16 July 2014 (UTC)[reply]

I think more than a few women over 70 are still sexually active. There's no reason to think that M didn't just sleep when in bed with her husband. Dismas|^(talk) 09:22, 16 July 2014 (UTC)[reply]

You'd think Bond would have run into a lesbian or two, over the years, but maybe he's just so charming he can make them switch teams. StuRat (talk) 23:54, 16 July 2014 (UTC)[reply]

He did. See Pussy Galore. --Jayron32 23:57, 16 July 2014 (UTC)[reply]

I'm thinking more along the lines of him running into a woman who's very physically attractive, but completely unavailable (happily married/otherwise with someone else/physically unable to have sex/under a vow of chastity/just plain unattracted to him/etc.) Has this ever happened in any books or movies about James Bond? 24.5.122.13 (talk) 06:17, 17 July 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Miss Moneypenny complained at least once that "you never do anything with me," suggesting that the aloofness there is mostly on 007's side. —Tamfang (talk) 22:12, 18 July 2014 (UTC)[reply]

I remember that at the end of the novel Moonraker (not the film), Bond makes an advance on a beautiful woman he met during his mission, and she says that she's already married and thus not interested. Bond just shrugs this off and walks away without her. JIP | Talk 07:33, 17 July 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Not Gala Brand, is it? 24.5.122.13 (talk) 07:47, 17 July 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Yes, that should be who I was thinking about. JIP | Talk 08:39, 17 July 2014 (UTC)[reply]

She's not married - she's getting married "tomorrow afternoon". ( Bond has spent the novel lusting after her, and though he outwardly "shrugs it off", the narrator makes it clear Bond is actually quite upset... )

90.244.131.120 (talk) 10:35, 17 July 2014 (UTC)[reply]

In any case, I think it meets the OP's criterion, in that Bond displayed interest in her but she rebuffed him altogether. JIP | Talk 10:44, 17 July 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Diamonds Are Forever (film) featured "Bambi and Thumper", I don't believe Bond is successful in charming them. --Jayron32 21:44, 17 July 2014 (UTC)[reply]

but he does erm... talk them round to his point of view...

90.244.140.6 (talk) 19:49, 23 July 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Mid 1990's large format children's software magazine

While answering Wikipedia:Reference_desk/Computing#Trying_to_find_an_old_pc_program_from_1995.2F1998 I remembered a magazine I received as a child. It was printed in a large format - the pages may have been 11x17, and I remember it being reasonably thick. It was about children's computer software, although I honestly don't remember much of the content of the actual magazine. More important than the magazine were the CDs that shipeed with it. They had dozens of demos and game descriptions on each disc, in a small virtual environment you could explore. Can anyone help me figure out what this magazine was called? Katie R (talk) 16:29, 16 July 2014 (UTC)[reply]

I think we had a lot of those mags in the UK in the 90's, I remember sometimes getting home to discover the disc wasn't there! How devastating was that? I'll have a search for them but you're from the US judging by the '11x17'reference? There was http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Club_Kidsoft off the bat. --87.113.181.226 (talk) 18:04, 16 July 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Have you had a look through this list as well? Might take some time as it's a list rather than an answer to your question. --87.113.181.226 (talk) 18:15, 16 July 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Club Kidsoft was it. Thanks! Katie R (talk) 19:11, 16 July 2014 (UTC)[reply]

The next step is to find a list of the software that came with them. There were a lot of great games that would be good for my kids, and would bring back a lot of memories for me. I'll start looking for some when I get home from work, but if anyone wants to give me a head start I would appreciate it. :-) References with current children's software would be great as well - it just doesn't seem like there are that many high-quality options available compared to the huge amount of software I remember seeing back then. Maybe it's all hiding in app stores now... Katie R (talk) 19:16, 16 July 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Jokes for an emergency/awkward situation

I cracked a joke about my boss to some colleagues today (nothing nasty, he'd just had a late night at his sister's birthday party) and it went down a treat, lots of amusement was had my all until my boss walked in the room. Unfortunately everyone then went quiet straight away and of course my boss asked what the joke was - so some idiot mentioned that they were laughing at MY joke. Having a slight problem with being the centre of attention and not being very quick of mind I could literally only think of 'why did the chicken cross the road'! Mr Boss was not ROFL, no sense of humor I guess... Does anybody have suggestions or links that have REALLY basic, easy to remember jokes that are still funny for people like me to use in an emergency situation? Thanks --87.113.181.226 (talk) 17:46, 16 July 2014 (UTC)[reply]

You might try "What did Buddha say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything." It's mildly clever, if cliched, and it probably won't offend anyone. OldTimeNESter (talk) 18:31, 16 July 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Ha! InedibleHulk (talk) 18:38, 16 July 2014 (UTC)[reply]

I'd have gone with the funny one about the boss. Still fresh in your head, and you know it works. If it was nothing nasty, it may have gone over better than making him think you're unfunny and/or lying.

But here's 50 quick ones off the top of the Google results. At least one of them will fare better than the chicken. InedibleHulk (talk) 18:37, 16 July 2014 (UTC)[reply]

If you want a chicken joke for all occasions (and believe me, I've tried this out on all occasions over a span of 50 years, and it always gets the same result), here goes:

Q. What's the difference between a chicken?

Here you need to deal with objections such as "between a chicken and what?". Never answer this question. Just repeat the opening line, ad nauseam if necessary. When they're ready to hear the answer:

A. One of its legs is both the same.

Now comes that "result" I mentioned above: a group of perplexed faces, belonging to people who now think they're conversing with an idiot. Little do they realise, that's the whole point ... -- Jack of Oz ^{[pleasantries]} 21:46, 16 July 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Just for your multicultural edification, Jack (and that of anyone else who may be interested), the U.S. equivalent is "What's the difference between a duck?" At least, that's what I'm assuming is true, because it's the version I recall from my own youth and the version known to Trovatore (who has yet to hear the Anvil Chorus, apparently). Don't Aussies know that ducks are funnier than chickens? Deor (talk) 22:13, 16 July 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Hmmm ... "There's nobody here but us ducks" - just doesn't do it for me, I'm afraid. Australia has been called The Lucky Country, but we're not much of a Ducky Country, really. -- Jack of Oz ^{[pleasantries]} 22:22, 16 July 2014 (UTC) PS. Oh, I forget myself. Michael Leunig has had a long, long love affair with ducks. -- Jack of Oz ^{[pleasantries]} 06:18, 17 July 2014 (UTC)[reply]

That "nobody here" joke originally had racial connotations. ←Baseball Bugs ^{What's up, Doc?} carrots→ 03:12, 17 July 2014 (UTC)[reply]

So did yo mamma. Seriously. InedibleHulk (talk) 05:00, 20 July 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Not the sort of jokes you'd tell in (all) polite company (I ~~am not let~~ don't get out much for a reason), but dead baby jokes would've been a great way to bring everyone down with you. Ian.thomson (talk) 22:11, 16 July 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Anything G-rated will do. Groucho: "I've had a wonderful [day/evening/whatever]. But this wasn't it." ←Baseball Bugs ^{What's up, Doc?} carrots→ 03:12, 17 July 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Could give No soap radio a try. Speaking of ducks. InedibleHulk (talk) 05:31, 17 July 2014 (UTC)[reply]

"I've just come back from a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. Tell you what, never again." --Viennese Waltz 08:21, 18 July 2014 (UTC)[reply]