Wikipedia:Peer review/Yokohama Kaidashi Kikō/archive1
I would like to continue improving this article, possibly even sending it to GAC, but I'm at a loss for what to do next. Any help apprecitated. —Quasirandom (talk) 06:28, 30 November 2007 (UTC)
- Here's a list of some of the things that jump out at me:
- The introduction writes on how the series is known in Indonesia, South Korea and to the fans. Is that really necessary?
- Some sentences could be written in a more concise manner; like changing The manga was originally published by Kodansha in the magazine Afternoon from June 1994 to February 2006 to The manga was serialized in Kodansha's Afternoon magazine from June 1994 to February 2006.
- There's some facts that need citations.
- The list of prominent mysteries could be changed to prose, maybe even transform into a section on the series "Setting".
- "Unofficial fan translations" are not notable... I think.
- Is there info on the series' origins, author's inspirations, etc?
- There's no need to repeat the voice actresses in the "Anime" section.
- Some info on the plot of the OVA's (and Drama CD's) could be useful. Also, is there any relation between the anime and audio dramas?
- A short explanation of mono no aware could be good, so the reader doesn't have to go to another article to understand what this article is talking about.
- That's what I have for now.--Nohansen 18:44, 30 November 2007 (UTC)
- Thanks. Those are helpful. To respond to a couple of those, the other names are because I've seen the series referred to in discussion by at least the Korean name, and wanted the disambiguation; the Indonesian name can probably go, though. I once tried putting the bulleted mysteries into prose, only to find it read more awkwardly; that was with an older, longer version of the list, and possibly it's time to try again. I'll work on the others over the next *mumble* days. —Quasirandom 20:58, 1 December 2007 (UTC)