Wikipedia:Peer review/Vespertine/archive1

Vespertine

I've listed this article for peer review because I'd love for it to become FA. I've already nominated it as GA with success.

Thank you!, Bleff (talk) 17:04, 13 June 2021 (UTC)

STANDARD NOTE: I have added this PR to the Template:FAC peer review sidebar to get quicker and more responses. When this PR is closed, please remove it from the list. Also, consider adding the sidebar to your userpage to help others discover pre-FAC PRs, and please review other articles in that template. Thanks! Z1720 (talk) 21:36, 13 June 2021 (UTC)

Review by 100cellsman

Hello! I've been on and off Wikipedia so I haven't gotten around reviewing this article like I said I would. I likely won't give a full review at once, but I'll go section by section.

I remarked that the album is too broad, so I also want to mention while its true FAs are expected to be comprehensive, they should also "stay focused without going into unnecessary detail". This tricky to get a grasp of at first, but after experience you'll know what and what not to include. I had the same issue with this article I worked on: [1] 웃OO 06:32, 23 June 2021 (UTC)

Background and development

• The "Techno Prayer" mention might be trivial, it could also be in the wrong section too.

• This article can do without the critical acclaim mention of Homogenic.

• The album being charactarized by her role in Dancer in the Dark can be kept, but it mentions a bit too much like, the director and her describing their issues with each other and her not wanting to act again and receiving the Palme d'Or and best actress awards. I strongly suggest compromising this.

• The mention with Bjork at the academy awards should be removed. The swan dress is should only in the artwork section.

• I'd remove Bjork's shifting musical taste and her growing tired of "Big Beats"

• Marius de Vries talking seems out of the blue. Did he work on Domestika?

• The album recording process should be spun off into its own section.

• The Napster thing should be paraphrased into prose. The quotation makes it harder to read.

• I'm honestly not sure if her lack of recognition for Vespertine has a place in the article. perhaps the quotation could be paraphrased as well.

Composition

• "referring to the times where "the most ideal music situation was in the home, where people would play harps for each other"" I feel like this doesn't belong here. Same with "She argued that with the popularity of festivals like Woodstock, the situation became "the opposite", and that with the advent of Napster, the Internet, music downloading and DVD, "we've come full circle and the most ideal musical situation now, [...] is back to the home"". I don't understand how these belong in the composition section.

• In this section, nearly every critic is genre-labeling the album in quotations. They look chaotic in this manner. Alot of these should be condensed into something like"Vespertine has been catagorised as electronica, art-pop, psychedelic, folk..." and so on. I recommend checking out WP:RECEPTION to help you work around quotations.

• The Nicola Dibben quotation is a bit too out of focus with the article.

Songs

• Instead of "NME called it progressive folk, while Drowned in Sound wrote it was electro.", put them in the beginning sentence like this: "The album opens with "Hidden Place", a progressive folk and electro track."

• "The caressing lyrics" of "Undo" assure that: "It's not meant to be a strife/It's not meant to be a struggle uphill". This should be removed. Pytlik sums it up better.

• I suggest separating the songs and the lyrics into their own sections.

Music videos

• Instead of that lengthy quote from bjork on her videos, sum it up as: "For these videos, Bjork wanted to ensure that "the scenery of the songs is not like a mountain or a city or outside, it's inside, so it's very internal. ""

• Again, the quote from M/M Paris should be shortened into prose: "M/M Paris believed that Bjork 'had never been portrayed as the "real" and beautiful woman she is... Then the idea of the liquid works as a visualization of all possible emotions pulsating and circulating in her very busy brain."

Artwork

• Jason Killingsworth goes into a little too much detail on the cover. I think the article can do without it.

• The caption of the Leda image says that "some people" liken the artwork to Leda of the swan but only Nicola Dibben mentions it in the article.

• This quote by Dibben is also out of focus with the article, as it goes on too much on the mythical story.

• I think the Leda image should be replaced with Bjork in her swan dress.

Other comments

• I'm not much of a source reviewer, but I know About.com is generally considered unreliable per WP:RSP. Also I'm aware that HitParadeItalia is a depricated source for Italian charts.

Final thoughts

This should conclude my review! Once these issues are addressed I'll feel more comfortable with the article being nominated for FA. Please let me know if you have any questions. Thank you! 웃OO 21:10, 30 June 2021 (UTC)

100cellsman Thank you so much for the review! I'll be taking care of th suggestions!🩸 𝗕𝗹𝗲𝗳𝗳 🩸 (talk) 09:33, 13 July 2021 (UTC)

Femke

Not familiar with the FA standards for music in general, so take subject-specific comments with a grain of salt.

• For accessibility, make sure that each image that is not purely decorative has a alt. This is read by screen readers to convey the information the image would normally convey, and as such, shouldn't repeat what the caption says.
• There is this french term dessin dans l'image, which can be placed in the {{lang|fr|dessin dans l'image}} template to make sure it's pronounced in french (if that is the normal way this would be pronounced when talking english, otherwise it's fine as it).
• The album has been certified Gold in Canada, France, Switzerland, and the United Kingdom. cn
• Is FN68 necessary? It's linked to evil Amazon, which isn't considered a RS typically. Drop if the other source covers it? There are similar sources.
• Check for duplicate links with the usual script. FemkeMilene (talk) 10:28, 31 July 2021 (UTC)