Wikipedia:Peer review/Kala (album)/archive2
This peer review discussion has been closed.
This article is an existing GA, and when it got to that level I fully intended to plough on to FAC but for whatever reason never got round to it. I'm going to try and have a go now, but wanted to know what might yet need fixing before I take that step. I thank you in advance for your time.....
Thanks, ChrisTheDude (talk) 12:41, 3 September 2009 (UTC)
- I only have one qualm: the sentence She held recording sessions with the Three 6 Mafia in September 2006[...] she hoped these collaborations would come to fruition in the future is too long. I think four lines is too long for one sentence. I suggest splitting it in two. Love, love, love how you presented both positive AND negative reviews of Kala. Based on the everything written in the article previous to the critical reviews section, I wouldn't think there would be any negative press. This contrast shows neutrality which is important when writing wikipedia articles. Formatting for your references look great. I like all the tables, the infobox is thorough, all images are either CC or fair use, and the lead summarizes the article very well. Good job ;-) // Gbern3 (talk) 19:33, 12 September 2009 (UTC)
Ruhrfisch comments: I agree that this seems pretty well done, but here are some nit-picky suggestions for improvement.
- In the "Composition and recording" section, the first paragraph says ...and meant that she and Timbaland were unable to collaborate. but the second paragraph says The album features guest vocals from Afrikan Boy, The Wilcannia Mob, and Timbaland, ... (and the lead mentions Timbaland working with her too).
- The last phrase in this is awkward "Boyz" and "Bird Flu" use urumee drums from the gaana music of Tamil Nadu, revisiting the old Tamil folk music which M.I.A. knew from having lived in Sri Lanka, and then worked on further in Trinidad in a soca environment.[7][16][17] Could the sentence be split?
- The word territories is odd in The Japanese edition featured three extra tracks not included in other territories.[24] could it be other nations? other versions? other releases?
- Ref 70 appears to be in japanese - I think the language needs to be indicated as a part of the ref in cases like that.
Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article, especially one at Wikipedia:Peer review/backlog (which is how I found this article). I do not watch peer reviews, so if you have questions or comments, please contact me on my talk page. Yours, Ruhrfisch ><>°° 03:54, 15 September 2009 (UTC)
- All done apart from the first one. I think what happened was that she wanted to get Timbaland heavily involved on a number of tracks but in the end his involvement was restricted to one brief vocal performance. I'll double check this and think how best to word it when I have a little more time -- ChrisTheDude (talk) 08:17, 15 September 2009 (UTC)
I'd like to note that the current infobox does not follow WP:Albums standards. Check Wikipedia:Albums#Professional_reviews to see how it follow in suit currently. Andrzejbanas (talk) 13:41, 15 September 2009 (UTC)
- OK, I'll fix that too -- ChrisTheDude (talk) 14:01, 15 September 2009 (UTC)