Wikipedia:Peer review/Imperial Manila/archive1
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I am planning to submit this for GA, possibly FA.
Thanks, Starczamora (talk) 09:17, 28 February 2008 (UTC)
Ruhrfisch comments: If you are going to submit this to WP:GAN, please read the Good Article criteria, especially comprehensiveness. I think this artilce still has some distance to go before it is up to GA standards. Some specific suggestions for improvement:
- I am not sure why this is notable - why should there be an article on a two-word phrase? The article itself needs to make this clearer - just because the phrase exists does not mean it is notable. My shoelaces exist (as do I) but there are not articles on them (or me).
- The lead should summarize the article and not have anything that is solely in the lead (see WP:LEAD).
- Could the section titles be more concise? Perhaps "Political usage" "Business usage" etc.? Or have have an overall section called "Usage" then subsections called "Politics", "Business", etc.?
- The article needs more references and needs to be more specific in attributions. Examples:
- The first quote from President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo does not actually nclude the words "Imperial Manila". If she used them, it should include those words. If she did not use them, why is this quote in this article at all? Same applies to quotes in the other sections.
- In the business section, give specific examples (quotes). Or here Advertising agencies in Metro Manila are also faulted for publishing print advertisements... say who faults them. Specificty is good and this applies to the whole article - attribute criticism to specific sources.
- The article needs a copyedit for grammar and overall clarity:
- What does this sentence mean, for example? It was because of the country's centralized government that provincial governments favor constitutional amendments for a shift to federal government, as well as supporting Arroyo and rejecting calls from Manila-based activist groups demanding for her resignation due to corruption charges particularly the Philippine National Broadband Network controversy.[3][4]
- Couldn't there be pictures of Manila or the president? This needs images.
- References that are there look good and seem to follow WP:MOS
Hope this helps, Ruhrfisch ><>°° 20:26, 13 March 2008 (UTC)