Wikipedia:Peer review/I Knew You Were Trouble/archive1
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I've listed this article for peer review because I want to take this article to FAC. The prose is the main issue, and I would appreciate any and all comments.
Thanks, Ippantekina (talk) 07:28, 30 October 2021 (UTC)
Comments from Laser brain
[edit]- Can you tell me which source covers this statement: "all of which feature an electronic pop production and programmed keyboards"? --Laser brain (talk) 12:32, 30 October 2021 (UTC)
- The Official Charts Company called the three songs "pop confections". USA Today wrote that the songs are "accented with vocal stutters and propulsive programmed keyboards and guitars". Time did say "I Knew You Were Trouble" is an electronic song, but because it is not the same for the two remaining tracks, I removed it. Ippantekina (talk) 02:32, 31 October 2021 (UTC)
- Thanks, I'm trying to get an understanding of how you've interpreted these sources. Can we start with the sample comments I made in the FAC? --Laser brain (talk) 13:04, 1 November 2021 (UTC)
I have revised some parts:
- The two producers infused elements of dubstep ... to the song "The two producers incorporated elements of dubstep"
- she prioritized the lyrics over the production, which she deemed important as a songwriter I agree this is grammatically flawed. It does not relate much to this song specifically, so I removed it.
- instrumented by heavy synthesizers I changed to "The refrain includes... synthesizers"
- musically expands on the ... sound I changed to "followed the country pop production of Swift's previous album". I also removed the "formulaic" word.
- The song begins with a ... production I changed to "Music critics described "I Knew You Were Trouble" as a dance-pop ... song"
I have revised three sections: Background and production, Music and lyrics, and Critical reception. I hope you give them another read through. Ippantekina (talk) 13:13, 1 November 2021 (UTC)
- @Laser brain: Hello, sorry for the ping. Do you have further comments for the article? Cheers, Ippantekina (talk) 03:45, 19 November 2021 (UTC)
Comments from Aoba47
[edit]- I am uncertain about this part,
The dubstep-tinged production divided music critics
, specifically the "dubstep-tinged production" wording. Why not just say the dubstep production as that seems to be more exact and what the critics are discussing in their reviews.
- Revised.
- I would revise this part,
Swift wanted to experiment with styles other than country
, to Swift wanted to experiment with other styles as the previous sentence already makes it clear that it is referring to styles outside of country pop so this part feels a tad repetitive.
- Done.
- I am not sure about the "career base" wording in this part,
beyond her career base of Nashville, Tennessee
. I know what you mean, but it is not necessarily something that I see often and I think a different wording would be preferable.
- Added a note to explain Swift's relationship with Nashville.
- I do not think it is necessary in this part,
According to the liner notes of Red, "I Knew You Were Trouble" was written by Swift, Martin, and Shellback.
, to attribute in the prose that the credits are coming from the liner notes. I have not seen this done for other song articles, and the liner notes citation is there for anyone who wants to see where the information is coming from.
- Done.
- In the first paragraph of the "Release" section, there are a few repetitions of "released" (which is obvious I know given the subject matter), but I would avoid having the same verb used in two sentences in a row.
- Tweaked a bit.
- In this part,
intertwined with flashbacks of her and her love interest (Carney)
, I do not think the Carney bit is necessary as you have already defined this in an earlier sentence.
- Removed.
- I have a few comments about these two parts:
Spin's Chris Martins and Vulture's Amanda Dobbins noted similarities
andChris Martins from Spin was not enthusiastic
. You do not need to specify the publication (i.e. Spin) twice in the same section. I am also uncertain about the last example, as it is the only straight-forward review of the album (versus a discussion of its theme or style). Are there other reviews for the music video? I like that you put a negative review in here as it does provide balance.
- Tweaked; the Spin reference is a review of the music video.
- For this part,
performing the song at the Brit Awards on February 20
, I would change the link to 33rd Brit Awards to be more exact and prevent any unnecessary confusion when the reader clicks on it.
- Done.
- I would be aware that this article likely change in the immediate future as Red (Taylor's Version) will soon be available and I'd imagine there will be discussion around the new version of this song since it was such a popular single from the original album.
- The version is out now, but reviews mostly focus on the unreleased tracks, so unfortunately nothing much has been said about "I Knew You Were Trouble"..
- Thank you for checking. I am not surprised that the newer material would pull focus. I have seen fans criticize the new version of the Max Martin tracks as they felt the originals (which were done with Martin) were superior to the new versions (which were done without him). I was curious if that was reflected in reviews as well, but it might be a thing that is more so contained in fan spaces and discussions. Aoba47 (talk) 04:45, 19 November 2021 (UTC)
I hope these comments are helpful. I will read through the article next week (as I am current on a mini-vacation). If possible, I would greatly appreciate any feedback for my current FAC. I completely understand if you do not have the time or interest. Have a great rest of your week! Aoba47 (talk) 23:10, 11 November 2021 (UTC)
- @Ippantekina: Apologies for the ping. Just wanted to check-in with you about the peer review. Aoba47 (talk) 22:51, 18 November 2021 (UTC)
- @Aoba47: Hello, sorry for the delay. I was occupied with real-life matters but have finally found some spare time for Wikipedia. I appreciate your comments and have responded to them above. Let me know if the article needs more work, and I hope you are having a great weekend ahead. Cheers, Ippantekina (talk) 03:44, 19 November 2021 (UTC)
- No need to apologize. Real-life should take priority over Wikipedia. I will look through the article tomorrow if that is okay with you. Aoba47 (talk) 04:45, 19 November 2021 (UTC)
- The infobox for Taylor's version includes two genres, but I do not see that supported in the prose. It seems like the genres from the original version where just carried down here. While I can understand the assumption that both songs are the same genres, unless critics have clearly identified this in Taylor's version, I would remove them from this infobox as they are not supported by anything.
- For the Taylor's version section, I believe the chart information should also be represented in prose and not only as a table.
- Since Taylor's version has a different producer (i.e. Christopher Rowe), I believe that information should be represented in the prose. Also, since the album is out now, does its liner notes contain more information about the recording of this version (like where it was recorded, etc.)?
That should be the end of my review. My comments are focused on the Taylor's version section. I am ending my review here so that way other editors can hopefully jump in and add their own comments. I hope this is helpful. I still cannot believe it has been so many years since this song first came out. Have a great end of your week! Aoba47 (talk) 18:56, 19 November 2021 (UTC)
- I still remember when she dropped this song and it was the talking point of my whole middle school. Back then we had two go-to topics to start a conversation: football and Swift. It is crazy how time flies for me to think when I used to jam to this song with my homie, who was not Swift's biggest fan. Thank you for the comments which I have addressed in the article. Cheers, Ippantekina (talk) 15:04, 21 November 2021 (UTC)
- I am glad that I could help. Best of luck with this peer review! Aoba47 (talk) 00:03, 22 November 2021 (UTC)
@Ippantekina: Are you still looking for comments for this PR? If so, I suggest posting a message on the Wikiprojects this article is listed in, or asking editors listed at WP:FAMENTOR to also review it. If you think it's ready for FAC, can you close this PR? Thanks. Z1720 (talk) 18:52, 10 December 2021 (UTC)
- Thank you for the ping. I am closing this now because this has stalled-- Ippantekina (talk) 11:36, 11 December 2021 (UTC)