Wikipedia:Peer review/Hotline Miami 2: Wrong Number/archive1

Hotline Miami 2: Wrong Number

I am requesting a review of this article before nominating it for FAC. To summarize the topic, Hotline Miami 2 is a 2015 video game that is a sequel to 2012's Hotline Miami. It is particularly notable for being banned in Australia due to a scene that features sexual assault, and is still refused classification in that country to this day. I recently got the article through GAN, and if all goes well, it will be my first FAC sometime in 2024. Any comments are appreciated.

Thanks, NegativeMP1 20:22, 14 November 2023 (UTC)

• "After the proposed length of it surpassed that of the base game, the project was turned into a standalone sequel after ten days and was confirmed to be in development via Twitter." -- This feels a little off to read. Maybe rephrase.
  • Done.
• I don't think you need to repeat the release year twice in the lead.
  • Removed 2015 from the first sentence.
• Linking the genre in the gameplay is wise.
  • Done.
• "Shortly after the release and success of the first game, which sold 130,000 copies in it's first seven weeks," - "Its", not "it's".
  • Done.
• Some rephrasing to make sure citations aren't just stuck in the middle of sentences might be advisable.
  • Unless you count using some citations at commas, I could only find one reference that was in the middle of a sentence.
• Ref 16 is used twice back to back, when both sentences could just use the same reference.
  • I assume you meant Ref 12 (now 11 since I removed an earlier reference that did nothing) since 16 was only used once in the entire article.
• The release section feels a little plodding due to the recitation of dates/events.
  • Went through and tried to make dates repeat themselves less, though not too much happened in the games marketing and release anyways.
• Reduce quotes in the reception section.
  • I'll have to do this at a different time, but I'll do it eventually before I go to FAC.
• "Referred to as "another powerful thing the game gets right" by Thurster of PC Gamer and as "your partner in flow-state induced crime" by Burns of VideoGamer.[22][6]" - Refs wrong way round.
  • Fixed.

Left some comments for you. Taking up the GANs (FFXVI, TR:Chronicles) I've got not required, but appreciated if you want. --ProtoDrake (talk) 21:15, 8 December 2023 (UTC)

Thanks for the review, I've done all of them right now except lowering quote usage in Reception (which I'll do before FAC, I just can't do it at this exact moment). As for Final Fantasy 16 XVI and TRC, I'll review either one after I review Penn & Teller's Smoke and Mirrors. NegativeMP1 00:03, 9 December 2023 (UTC)