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Wikipedia:Peer review/Degrassi Junior High/archive1

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I've listed this article for peer review because I am looking to get this article of a cult Canadian teen drama series to featured status. At the beginning of this year, the page did little to demonstrate the popularity and legacy the show actually has, such as being named one of the most significant television shows in Canadian history by the Toronto International Film Festival. The article had a total of four sources and consisted mostly of fan cruft, such as a massive paragraph on a character wearing an Australian football sweater. I spent the first half of this year expanding it significantly with hundreds of sources and even getting it successfully assessed for GA. I'd be glad to tweak this article to fit the FA criteria.

Thanks, ToQ100gou (talk) 03:22, 5 December 2021 (UTC)[reply]

STANDARD NOTE: I have added this PR to the Template:FAC peer review sidebar to get quicker and more responses. When this PR is closed, please remove it from the list. Also, consider adding the sidebar to your userpage to help others discover pre-FAC PRs, and please review other articles in that template. Thanks! Z1720 (talk) 16:21, 5 December 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Comments

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  • Wow Degrassi Junior High, that takes me back.
  • I'm making minor copy edits as I go, feel free to revert if you want.
  • "The series did not have a fixed cast but loosely focused on a select group, with minor characters occasionally getting focus, and some extras gaining more prominence in later episodes, as any of the actors in the repertory company could be given bigger roles at any time" - this sentence seems to state the same thing in different ways, can you rephrase?
  • I have to admit I lost interest in the cast section. Need it be so detailed? Seems like at least some of the info here would be better off at List of Degrassi Junior High and High characters
    • The biggest problem with this article is that when I wrote it last year, I was trying to mimic the Degrassi: The Next Generation article, whose cast section is similar in detail. The issue is that because the show didn't have a fixed cast that you can just list, it's hard to write a simple list, so I don't know how to go about shortening it. ToQ100gou (talk) 01:55, 30 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • "The school used in the show was the unused Vincent Massey Public School (then known as Daisy Avenue Public School) in Etobicoke, Ontario" - why was it unused? perhaps in saying that, then you won't need to have two "uses" in the sentence
    • Fixed. The book I sourced that info from, Degrassi Generations: The Official 411 by Kathryn Ellis (a fantastic, informative, and comprehensive book), explains that it was unused by the school board at the time except for a private school on the ground floor, making them have to shoot most of the show upstairs. This is in the article but not explained right away. ToQ100gou (talk) 01:55, 30 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Popular culture" is super interesting but does it need its own subheading?
  • "and sent to them on the back of a school permission letter" - who is them?
  • "It ends with a zooming image of various kids holding up a trophy, before the logo forms on a notebook background with a pencil below. In season three, scenes are replaced to account for the departure, introduction, and rise to prominence of various characters.[note 1]" - this is not cited, and neither is the note
  • "The theme song that accompanies the opening sequence is an upbeat track sung by co-composer Wendy Watson, in the key of C major and driven by synthesizers and guitars, that begins pessimistically with the narrator feeling uncertain about going to school.[76] " - please rephrase, "that begins" reads weird, as does the comma after Watson, as does narrator - should that be vocalist?
  • "Degrassi Between Takes was a half-hour documentary special that aired on 30 October 1989" but "Degrassi Junior High is a Canadian television series and the second series in the Degrassi franchise"? This seems inconsistent to me but I'm not sure what is best
    • I thought "was" felt right, but the documentary still exists; it's a special feature on the DVDs, so I changed it to "is".
  • I'd say each line in the episodes table needs a ref
  • % should be percent (except in the table) per MOS:%
  • "due to a budget squeeze, it was then moved to Monday nights at 7:30 p.m,[96] and then later by then-new CBC" - too many thens
  • "After its move to prime time, critics felt it had been well deserved." this sentence doesn't read well and also you can't really reference a big claim like that to the Alberni Valley Times
  • "remolding the pat-a-cake image of what the industry, with at least some sense of paradox, likes to call children's television.[5] - need to check the speech marks on this one
  • "However, speaking of the series finale, Kennedy felt that the seeming omission of Joey Jeremiah from a scene of the school burning was a "a colossally poor bit of directing and/or editing".[14]" - this is a very niche critique, i have no idea why that would be bad for Joey not to feature
  • no review from UK?
    • I can't seem to find a proper one. I'm not sure if it's because the BBC stopped airing it after they banned half of season one already, but I can't find much. Does the Den Of Geek review count? It's a partly UK-based site, the DVD cover is the British release, and the author mentions Grange Hill, a show that I'm not sure many people outside of the UK know about. ToQ100gou (talk) 01:55, 30 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Comments2

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  • Ottawa Citizen, Miami Herald need italicizing, I did a few others
  • "Comparisons have been made with Degrassi Junior High and later teen dramas. most often favourably." - needs editing
  • pausing here Mujinga (talk) 19:02, 28 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • in "print media" i think you can cut the table, since it's already at Degrassi Classic novels Mujinga (talk) 09:51, 29 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • User:ToQ100gou i salute your "one-man Degrassi WikiProject". This article is great but probably too long. I think you can break off bits into other articles. Overall, I very much enjoyed reading. I also have a peer review open for Olive Morris if you'd like to look at it, but there's no obligation of course. Cheers! Mujinga (talk) 09:52, 29 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]
    • Thanks a lot! I'm a newer fan (discovered this show in 2020) and have dug up so much coverage and sources about this show that completely contradicts the current consensus that seems to treat it as an incredibly obscure, niche footnote of Next Generation, and the article before last year was not good, so I had to improve this and other pages related to it. I guess the only downside is that it is a "one-man" project, but it doesn't matter too much. As for splitting, that was definitely not lost on me: I have the draft article Cultural impact of Degrassi that I've split content from this article into, but have yet to really add content on Next Generation's impact. ToQ100gou (talk) 03:20, 2 February 2022 (UTC)[reply]