Wikipedia:Peer review/Benjamin Jackson (sailor)/archive1

Benjamin Jackson (sailor)

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch • Watch peer review

This peer review discussion is closed.

I'm looking for a peer review from a native speaker of Canadian English. I just overhauled this article on a Canadian topic and did my best to stick to Canadian English principles, but being a speaker of American English myself, I am concerned that I may have missed a few things. All comments are nevertheless welcome.

Thanks, Dugan Murphy (talk) 17:06, 16 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Hi, I am interested in this PR and will be adding my comments soon. Cheers Matarisvan (talk) 07:52, 22 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Matarisvan

Hi Dugan Murphy, I'm not a native speaker of Canadian English but I hope my comments, which follow, help.

Link to bronchitis?

Sure. Some people might not know what that is. Dugan Murphy (talk) 02:04, 25 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Link to Horton Township (Wolfville) in infobox, lead and body?

I see that Horton Township, Nova Scotia redirects to Wolfville, but that article doesn't seem to mention anything about the area where Jackson lived, which is now called Lockhartville. The article is focused on communities further west. Dugan Murphy (talk) 02:04, 25 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Ref #1 in note a: Change "p. 264n88" to "p. 264, n. 88"?

I've seen multiple articles through FAC with citations to footnotes written out this way, so I'm going to leave that be. Dugan Murphy (talk) 02:04, 25 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]

"They had daughters": Change to "They had two daughters,"?

I prefer how it currently reads. Dugan Murphy (talk) 02:04, 25 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Link to Saint John, New Brunswick?

Sure! Dugan Murphy (talk) 02:04, 25 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]

"of Gulf of Mexico coastline": add a "the" prefix before "Gulf of Mexico"?

That's probably better; done. Dugan Murphy (talk) 02:04, 25 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]

"engaged Confederate military": add a "the" prefix?

That probably reads better; done. Dugan Murphy (talk) 02:04, 25 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]

"throughout day and night": "throughout the day and night"?

Rewritten. Dugan Murphy (talk) 02:04, 25 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]

"surrendered August": add an "on" in between?

Done. Dugan Murphy (talk) 02:04, 25 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Ref #15 in note c: Change "p. 265n99" to "p. 265, n. 99"?

See above about citing footnotes. Dugan Murphy (talk) 02:04, 25 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]

"Black British North American Civil War Union Navy veterans": Isn't this too confusing? Consider changing to "Black British North American veterans who served in the Union Navy during the Civil War" in both the body and note d?

Reworded in both places to move "veteran" as suggested, though I decided to just remove "Civil War" since the use of Union Navy/Army indicates the conflict. Dugan Murphy (talk) 02:04, 25 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Ref #24: Change "p. 265n102" to "p. 265, n. 102"?

See above about citing footnotes. Dugan Murphy (talk) 02:04, 25 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]

In the first paragraph of the Legacy section, haven't we added too much about the reenactment regiment? We should just retain the services performed at Jackson's headstone and remove the rest.

I can see that. I tightened that up. Dugan Murphy (talk) 02:04, 25 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]

That's all from me. Cheers Matarisvan (talk) 10:34, 24 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for looking over the article! It's better as a result. Dugan Murphy (talk) 02:04, 25 June 2024 (UTC)[reply]