Wikipedia:Peer review/Battle of Chunj/archive1
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Created this article and was assessed as B-class recently and would like to bring it to Good article status.
Thanks, Rahim231 (talk) 19:02, 28 October 2024 (UTC)
Airship
[edit]As requested, will review this article with the GA criteria and the military MOS in mind.
- A map with the sites mentioned, not just Chunj, would be very helpful. You can make it yourself with {{location map}}
- The main issue that I see is prose quality. There are many incidents of miscapitalisations, incorrect punctuation or grammar, or other mistakes in the article. The best remedy for this is a visit to WP:GOCE. In the meantime, here is a non-exhaustive selection of issues you could fix, and maybe will help you get on the right track.
- "Colonel Nausherwan and his Battalion acquainted their routes and their aims" "acquainted" has to be used with a "with", and normally a pronoun. here you would say "... acquainted themselves with their routes and their aims"}}
- "The Plan was made, the capture of Chunj feature general area (Point 9444)" firstly, plan should not be capitalised as it is in the middle of a sentence. Secondly, there should be no comma. Lastly, I don't know what "Chunj feature general area" means.
- "3 Madras was new unit on the Indian side which was inducted, it unaware of the movement of the Pakistani troops who had reached their Forming up Place" Again, there shouldn't be capital letters after the start of the sentence unless proper nouns — "forming up place". Then, there are missing verbs and articles. The sentence should read something like "3 Madras was a new, recently-inducted (?) Indian unit, unaware of the movement of the Pakistani troops who had reached their forming-up place."
- Sourcing looks alright. I am somewhat concerned by the Major Sloan narrative, but it looks fine enough. However, he is mentioned twice in the body without any indication of who he was or what he did.
- Pay attention to the infobox guidelines! The "result" parameter should have no more then "Pakistani victory". There is also no need for the flag icons in the infobox, as everyone had the same flag and per MOS:MILFLAGS any purely decorative flags should be removed.
So as above, take a visit to the copyeditors at WP:GOCE, maybe request a look-over from someone at WT:MILHIST, and then this should be good for a GA nom. Good luck! ~~ AirshipJungleman29 (talk) 23:56, 31 October 2024 (UTC)
- Hi @AirshipJungleman29, I have edited the article as per review given by you and also submitted a request for copy edit.
- I have done some further additions like i added a Military honor section in Aftermath which is about Major sloan and his role in the Battle and the war.
- For the map, i can also make it by citing this map from https://web.archive.org/web/20240718082819/https://www.aimh.gov.pk/winter-2022/ on Page number 29. Rahim231 (talk) 13:53, 2 November 2024 (UTC)