Wikipedia:Peer review/Already Gone (Kelly Clarkson song)/archive1

Already Gone (Kelly Clarkson song)

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I'd like to know if anyone has any suggestions on how to improve the article before I take it to FAC. I feel it's pretty complete and well written, but others might be able to spot errors or think of something that's missing. It is already a GA.

Thanks, Matthewedwards :  Chat  07:59, 13 April 2010 (UTC)

Comments by--shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 22:21, 26 April 2010 (UTC)

• Note: unless otherwise indicated, maintain current formatting and wikilinks.

Infobox

1. Canadian Gold? See here.<ref name=cc>{{cite web|url=http://www.cria.ca/cert_db_search.php?page=2&wclause=WHERE+artist_name+like+%27%25Kelly+Clarkson%25%27+ORDER+BY+cert_date%2C+cert_award+&rcnt=24&csearch=0&nextprev=1|title=CRIA - Kelly Clarkson releases|publisher=[[Canadian Recording Industry Association]]|date=2010-01-05|accessdate=2010-04-26}}</ref>
2. Check "Long Shot" as next single (recent change). Not mentioned elsewhere in article.

Lead

1. "The song was released as the album's third in August 2009." The song was released as the album's third single in August.
2. "It was one of six songs Clarkson and Tedder wrote together in early 2008 during one of Tedder's first song writing collaborations with another artist." It was one of six songs Clarkson and Tedder wrote together in early 2008, during one of Tedder's first song writing collaborations with another artist.
3. "Clarkson claimed that Tedder had already used the musical arrangement on "Halo", a song featured on Beyoncé Knowles's album I Am... Sasha Fierce, which was released in November 2008." Clarkson claimed that Tedder had used the same musical arrangement on "Halo", a song featured on Beyoncé Knowles's album I Am... Sasha Fierce, which was released in November.
4. "She publicly criticized Tedder for providing the arrangement to Knowles without informing her, stating that the public would assume that she had stolen it;" Some personal pronoun confusion over she/her: Clarkson or Knowles? Try She publicly criticized Tedder for providing his arrangement—without informing her—to Knowles so that the public would assume she [Clarkson] had stolen it.
5. "and the album had begun to be pressed." and it was being pressed.
6. ""Cry" to be released as the third single instead" "Cry" to be released in its place
7. "It was used as the "exit song" on the fifth season of So You Think You Can Dance.[1]" Not mentioned in main text, move ref there when it is included or delete from Lead if not used.
8. "In September 2009 she performed the song" In September she performed the song
9. "on the The View the following month," Too many 'the'? on The View in October,
10. "On the Billboard Hot 100, the song peaked at number 13, being her 11th top twenty hit at the time on the U.S..[2]" On the Billboard Hot 100, the song peaked at number 13, becoming her 11th top twenty hit. End phrase is redundant: its still her 11th hit regardless if others have followed since. Also put a nbsp; between number and numeral. Move ref to appropriate place in main text if needed—I think its the same ref as [49]?

Background and release

1. ""Already Gone" is one of five songs co-written by Kelly Clarkson and Ryan Tedder, lead singer of OneRepublic, to appear on Clarkson's fourth studio album All I Ever Wanted.[3][4]" Currently reads as if five Clarkson-Tedder songs are on the album. Checking the standard release of the album I only detect three: "Already Gone", "If I Can't Have You" and "Impossible". What are the other two?
2. "for which Tedder received co-writer and producer credits,[6]" which Tedder co-wrote and co-produced,[6] Note: this ref does not cover co-producer nor producer credit.
3. "with anyone else ... We wrote about" with anyone else [...] We wrote about Brackets indicate that its your ellision and not in original. Check other quotes for similar.
4. Link MTV first time in text. De-link second time (in next paragraph/section) and any subsequent in main text.
5. "it was unfortunate that the two songs sound exactly the same, but that her's and Knowles' melodies on the two songs are different.[10] that although the two songs unfortunately sounded the same, they had different melodies.[10] Paraphrase her discussion.
6. What does Knowles say?

Composition

1. Check sound sample description, "A 39-second sample of the" If true this breaches the 30s or 10% guideline. Album version is 4:41 so 10% is 28.1 s. Sample appears to be 26 s, so adjust description.

Music video

1. "Clarkson's official website announced July 22, 2009 that the video was almost completed and would premiere the following week.[20]" Trivial statement: cut to the chase. Combine with next sentence to produce... The video was uploaded to Clarkson's official website on July 27.[21]
2. Who did Kahn battle with? Currently this could by interpreted that he battled with Clarkson! The Lead claims he had problems with RCA but this section gives no such mention. Fix one or the other.

Live performances

1. What is meant by a "diva-esque" version? Her performance is later described as "the simpler acoustic setup". Some further paraphrasing of her meaning is needed.
2. Some re-ordering and re-wording is needed in this section. Where possible information should be chronological and only notable 'first performances' should be described. Paragraph two is particularly overloaded with: she sang it here and it was broadcast and she sang it there and it was broadcast...

Critical reception

1. Wikilink first About.com not second, give Bill Lamb second time as Lamb.

Chart performance

1. Check recent changes here. Change peaked at #3 to peaked at number three. Note:contains a nbsp; in between number and three. Trim redundant statements & repetitions.
2. Update Australian year end pos: see here. Information incorrectly added to the Austrian chart and gives incorrect position.
3. Only gold in Canada not platinum? See here
4. Standardise chart entry alignments: all centred or all left?

Release history

1. Citation still needed.

References

All bare urls need full wikifying. Note: numbers below refer to the current ref numbers and may be changed subsequently.

1. Insert | work = Reality Rocks
2. Same as [49]?
3. ASCAP in full & linked with (ASCAP), not linked, after it.
4. Fix publisher = [[Digital Spy|Digital Spy Ltd]]
5. Add | publisher = Paul Carlucci ([[News Corporation]])
6. De-link second (& subsequent) appearance of any previously linked articles.
7. Replace current publisher with publisher = [[Canadian Broadcasting Centre]] (CBC) | work = [[CBC News]]
8. Check accessdate: same as date of the article. Since this article was created on 31 October 2009, by you, this seems to be an error. Check other accessdate values.
9. Not sure about this ref: could be a blog site? Use another ref to verify that "Cry" was preferred as album's third single.
10. Needs publisher.
11. De-link MTV here.
13. Who published the Sheet Music? The copyright owners are to be acknowledged.
14. According to OttoBib, here, wikipedia should use {{cite book | last = Clarkson | first = Kelly | title = Kelly Clarkson - All I Ever Wanted | publisher = Twayne Publishers | location = Boston | year = 2009 | isbn = 1423481321 }} Wikilink as needed.
15. publisher is The New York Times Company?
16. publisher is William Casey?
19. Don't like the scrolling display. In any case one of her works, "Walk Away", is not cited by Kahn at this site. Need a better ref.
20. Not needed: see above.
22. Fix { into |
25. De-link The Hartford Courant and Tribune Company. Previously linked in refs.
28. De-link Rolling Stone.
31. Use pipe to Us Weekly.
32. Expand ABC add (ABC) afterwards.
33. ABC again? To Good Morning America again. I can't see why one of these is not enough.
38. Insert | publisher = Eddy Hartenstein ([[Tribune Company]])
40. See [5] above but de=link any previously linked.
41. accessdate for transcript?
42. Title duplicated? Publisher needed.
43. Italics for album titles. Publisher.
45. A note near the bottom of site states (Editing by Sheri Linden at Reuters). It does not indicate that Linden is the author of the review nor whether she's at Billboard. Is she editing her own article previously published by Billboard?
49. Currently (week ending May 1, 2010) charting at Number Three on Adult Contemporary but its not easy to see any other charting here. The use of the visualizer is problematic. Accessdate may need to be updated for the recent charting. Aside: perhaps the Allmusic display of Billboard's charts could be used? Try here. See also refs [2], [52], [53], [54].
50. Does not give charting nor release date of this single. What is it referencing?
51. Different title. Different date.
52. Also [53]&[54]: see [49] above.
55. "|format=PDF |pages=2, 4" |format = [[Personal Document Format]] (PDF) |pages=2, 4, 11
56. del extraneous "and was". Add in | work = Australian charts portal. Differentiates from other similar chart portals published by Hung Medien.
57. Add (ARIA) in appropriate place.
58. Add New Zealand charts portal (see [56] for rationale).
60. Add Austrian charts portal (as before).
61. Fix bare url.
62. Actually goes to Dutch charts portal see [64] and not to Belgian charts portal (Ultrapop 50), try here.
63. Fix bare url.
69. Doesn't go where I expected: just general charts list. No direct information on Clarkson. See also [49]
70. Fix bare url.
71. Does not deliver.
72. Fix bare url.
73. Wikify. Add | language = German. Only one of this or [74] is needed.

Done.--shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 11:52, 27 April 2010 (UTC)