Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Sanctuary (season 1)/archive1

The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was not promoted by Laser brain 23:24, 8 February 2011 [1].

Sanctuary (season 1)

Featured article candidates/Sanctuary (season 1)/archive1

Nominator(s): Matthew RD 18:14, 25 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]

I am nominating this for featured article because I believe it is up to FA standards. It has been peer reveiwed so hopefully there won't be as many problems that would need to be sorted out. This is my first FAN so, be nice :) -- Matthew RD 18:14, 25 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Comment - From a glance it looks good. I like the level of detail given to the season page. Quick question, but has a request from the League of Copy Editors been placed? Just doing a glance at the article I noticed some grammar issues and just poor choice of words/wordiness. A thorough copy edit could tighten the prose up. The League can sometimes be really quick with those requests, so I would put in a request as soon as possible to see about getting a neutral eye to review the page for readability enhancements. BIGNOLE (Contact me) 19:58, 25 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Sorry, that just slipped my mind completely, but yes, I have just put up a request to Wikipedia:WikiProject Guild of Copy Editors/Requests. -- Matthew RD

Dab/EL check - No dead links in the article, but there are 7 redirects in the page. GamerPro64 (talk) 20:21, 25 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Comments - beginning a look-over now. I'll make straightforward copyedits as I go and jot queries below: Casliber (talk · contribs) 13:09, 27 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]

~~Series creator and head writer Damian Kindler hired Sam Egan, and together wrote all the episodes as well as establish a season-long storyline.~~ - something is wrong with the grammar in this sentence. How about " Series creator and head writer Damian Kindler hired Sam Egan, and the two wrote all the episodes as well as established the season-long storyline." maybe replace "established" with "composed"

Done. -- Matthew RD 19:59, 29 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]

~~they reacted strongly towards~~ ~~- eeww, you mean...erm, they liked them?~~

Done. -- Matthew RD 19:59, 29 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]

I really think the Episodes section would benefit from one or a few sentences describing the overall story arc - how many are stand-alone and how many arc episodes, which episode cabal introduced etc.

I don't understand, I thought I was pretty clear (the episode that mention "cabal" indicates their cabal-centred episodes, while those that don't mention cabal means they're not involved). -- Matthew RD 19:59, 29 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]

The producers cast Robbins, and were receptive towards his performance - huh? If they cast him, how can they be "receptive" here? Why not just say they were pleased?

Done. -- Matthew RD 19:59, 29 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]

When Adrien Dorval auditioned for his part on "Kush", Kindler did not like his performance, but Wood did, as he believed Dorval's performance was perfect for a character who was stranded on a plane. - shouldn't need to use 'Dorval' twice in the one sentence - disjointed. needs rewording

Reworded to "the actor". -- Matthew RD 19:59, 29 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]

~~Principle photography started in May 2008..~~ ~~-I assume you mean "Principal" (but I think "Initial" is a better adjective here anyway)~~

Done. -- Matthew RD 19:59, 29 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]

.. ~~the props department had in their possession and put holes in the forehead, and were easier to use than actors~~ ~~- you've changed the subject here. Needs rewording. I'd do it myself but am tired and am going to bed now.~~

Reworded. -- Matthew RD 19:59, 29 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Are there no other comments from critics on especially strong or weak performances from cast, or episodes which stood out or stunk? I feel this article could do with some more flesh on its bones, if it can be sourced. Did anyone note the nubbins takeoff of tribbles or gremlins? Casliber (talk · contribs) 02:42, 28 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Not that I can find. There is a statement where some did not like the first six episodes as much as the rest, but you already knew that and probably wanted it elaborated, but no.

Overall, ~~I've read down to Broadcast and reception and find~~ the prose needs alot of tightening. I'll be back later. Casliber (talk · contribs) 14:07, 27 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Comment: The article looks decent enough, though I am a little concerned that it comes to FAC while the nominator is still seeking help from the League of Copyeditors, and where a reviewer finds the prose needs "a lot of tightening". We don't expect candidates to be perfect, but it is a requirement that within reason nominators should ensure that FA criterion 1a on prose is met before nominating. Thus the nom looks a little premature (though I have seen much worse here). Brianboulton (talk) 13:09, 29 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Here is an image copyright review from Stifle.
- Evidence is required that File:Damian Kindler.jpg is released under the stated license.
Oppose pending resolution of the above. Stifle (talk) 14:27, 3 February 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Removed image, as I feel that is the quickest way to resolve this. Now perhaps we can turn this oppose to support... :) -- Matthew RD 15:05, 3 February 2011 (UTC)[reply]
There are no further copyright issues. I have not reviewed the article under any additional headings. Stifle (talk) 16:12, 3 February 2011 (UTC)[reply]

The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.