Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Sakura Wars (1996 video game)/archive1
- The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.
The article was archived by Ian Rose via FACBot (talk) 6 May 2020 [1].
- Nominator(s): Lord Sjones23 (talk - contributions) 06:01, 25 February 2020 (UTC)
In 1996, Sega and Red Company, now Red Entertainment, released Sakura Wars, a cross-genre video game that included tactical role-playing, dating sim and visual novel elements. It became the highest-selling title for the Sega Saturn and spawned a popular franchise that continues in Japan to this day, with a sixth installment released this past year.
Although this game was localized in Russia and China, American/European role-playing video game fans had to wait until Sakura Wars: So Long, My Love was released in 2010 since Sega released the game into the then-niche Western JRPG field. Since this article was promoted to GA back in 2018, ProtoDrake and I have extensively polished it up; I think it can go all the way to FA.
This is the first part of my efforts to get all of the main Sakura Wars series articles up to GA+. It had an FAC nomination in 2019, but it was closed due to inactivity. Over nine months later, I think it may be worth trying again. Hopefully, the second time is the charm. Thanks for reviewing. Lord Sjones23 (talk - contributions) 06:01, 25 February 2020 (UTC)
Drive-by comment - I noticed that a lot of the refs are missing the "title" parameters. They need to be fixed. Namcokid47 (Contribs) 21:07, 29 February 2020 (UTC)
- I just added some titles (title parameters with actual titles) to the remaining refs as of this writing. It ain't perfect. I think I fixed the issue for now. I'm Aya Syameimaru! I 文々。新聞 22:12, 15 March 2020 (UTC)
- Nice work. Lord Sjones23 (talk - contributions) 23:03, 15 March 2020 (UTC)
- Yes, I've been a busy editing machine as of now. I'm Aya Syameimaru! I 文々。新聞 23:04, 15 March 2020 (UTC)
- Nice work. Lord Sjones23 (talk - contributions) 23:03, 15 March 2020 (UTC)
Comments from Spy-cicle
[edit]Note: I have not verified the sources as I cannot read Japanese, mostly looked prose.
Infobox
- It might be worth mentioning that Askella and Dysin Interactive were the publishers for Microsoft Windows for Russia and China respectively in the main body so you can shift the refs out of the infobox. But that is up to you.
Lead
Unnecessary to wikilink Tokyo per WP:OVERLINKProbably worth mentioning that the game is set in the 1920s
Gameplay
Live & Interactive Picture System (LIPS) The ampersand should just be an and per MOS:AMP.- Use either "Players" or "the player" in one section per Wikipedia:Manual of Style/Video games#Gameplay.
- ...granting statistic increases and improving combat ability Does the statistic increase directly improve the combat ability. If so I would suggest adding "subsequently". If not leave it.
- The game ends when certain conditions are not met or if the health bar on Ogami's Koubu reaches zero... Would the game not also end if the player wins the battle.
Synopsis
Probably worth wikilinking "Sendai" since it is not as well-known as TokyoThe city recovers at the group relaxes I am guessing this is suppose to say: "The city recovers as the group relaxes"
Refs
- As mentioned above, there are 7 refs without the title parameter filled in.
- Refs 1, 5, 85, 101, 118 (possibly missed one or two) need to have the trans-title and language (where applicable) parameters filled in.
Ref 3 seems to be published in 2009 not 2006- When referencing page numbers you use en dashes instead of hyphens per MOS:DASH which needs to changed on refs 8, 9, 11, 44, 51, 65, 66, etc.
- There are a few refs missing archives like 25.
I think that the website parameter would be more precise when filling out sources from RPGFan (as well as it resulting in italics).- The publisher parameter should be consistently wikilinked for example with Enterbrain and the publisher parameter should be present for Kotaku.
I should be able to go over the rest in the coming days. Regards Spy-cicle💥 Talk? 22:18, 3 March 2020 (UTC)
- Comment: I plan to do a review of this myself soon, but I just want to point out that Spy-cicle's
the ampersand should just be an and
is incorrect here, as Live & Interactive Picture System is a proper name - the MOS page they're linking says toretain an ampersand when it is a legitimate part of the style of a proper noun, such as in Up & Down or AT&T
.--AlexandraIDV 05:17, 4 March 2020 (UTC)
- Yeah looking back on it I misinterepted MOS:AMP. I have since striked that part. Regards Spy-cicle💥 Talk? 17:10, 4 March 2020 (UTC)
- @Spy-cicle: Responded below.
- I've addressed the concerns in the lead.
- The problems in the Synopsis section have been corrected.
- I will try to find some titles for the 7 refs that are not filled in.
- The date in Ref 3 has been corrected.
- Corrected publishers in the citations.
- I will get the rest of the problems addressed in the next couple of days. Lord Sjones23 (talk - contributions) 01:58, 7 March 2020 (UTC)
- Okay great, I will review the rest of the article soon. (Side note: I did not receive the ping I think because the ping was not on the same line of it being signed just so you know if you need to ping another user on a different occassion). Spy-cicle💥 Talk? 17:00, 8 March 2020 (UTC)
- I'm Aya Syameimaru! took care of the rest of the problems. Lord Sjones23 (talk - contributions) 23:02, 15 March 2020 (UTC)
- I orignally planned to completely finish my review by now however the coronavirus outbreak in the UK has thrown a spanner in the works. I hope to complete it soon. Regards Spy-cicle💥 Talk? 22:51, 28 March 2020 (UTC)
- Spy-cicle's activities indicate he takes a long time to prepare for reviewing the rest of this article, he's got some stuff to do before the article becomes closer to FA this time around. I'm Aya Syameimaru! I 文々。新聞 21:15, 26 March 2020 (UTC)
- And oh btw, Alexandra IDV is gonna review this article too. I'm Aya Syameimaru! I 文々。新聞 21:19, 26 March 2020 (UTC)
- Got it. I didn't want it to get closed due to possible inactivity like it did in the previous FAC nomination. Thanks, Lord Sjones23 (talk - contributions) 00:51, 27 March 2020 (UTC)
- You're welcome. I'm Aya Syameimaru! I 文々。新聞 00:52, 27 March 2020 (UTC)
- Got it. I didn't want it to get closed due to possible inactivity like it did in the previous FAC nomination. Thanks, Lord Sjones23 (talk - contributions) 00:51, 27 March 2020 (UTC)
- And oh btw, Alexandra IDV is gonna review this article too. I'm Aya Syameimaru! I 文々。新聞 21:19, 26 March 2020 (UTC)
Support from I'm Aya Syameimaru!
[edit]TheJoebro64 Can you try to participate in this FAC review? It's about a Sega video game named Sakura Wars. We need more activity. «“I'm Aya Syameimaru!”I„文々。新聞“I„userbako
”» 07:27, 4 April 2020 (UTC)
- Red Phoenix Do you want to participate in this FAC review of Sakura Wars? More activity is expected. «“I'm Aya Syameimaru!”I„文々。新聞“I„
userbako
”» 07:47, 4 April 2020 (UTC)
I'm also pinging @Tintor2:, one of the previous FAC participants, as well as WT:SEGA for feedback on this version. Also reminding @Alexandra IDV: of this. Lord Sjones23 (talk - contributions) 21:03, 4 April 2020 (UTC)
- Yep. «“I'm Aya Syameimaru!”I„文々。新聞“I„
userbako
”» 22:52, 4 April 2020 (UTC)- I can try later in the week. I'm going to be a bit busy, so my wiki-time will be limited. JOEBRO64 01:43, 6 April 2020 (UTC)
- Okay, now you're in. «“I'm Aya Syameimaru!”I„文々。新聞“I„
userbako
”» 02:10, 6 April 2020 (UTC)
- Okay, now you're in. «“I'm Aya Syameimaru!”I„文々。新聞“I„
- I can try later in the week. I'm going to be a bit busy, so my wiki-time will be limited. JOEBRO64 01:43, 6 April 2020 (UTC)
It's very funny that the first revision of this very article (created by ProtoDrake) is so similar to its current revision as of this writing. I'm surprised that this is not an article created in 2005, because I see here that Sakura Wars (1996 video game) was created in 2017! «I'm Aya Syameimaru!I文々。新聞Iuserbako
» 02:26, 24 April 2020 (UTC)
Image review
[edit]Okay, I'm reviewing the images of the Sakura Wars (1996 video game) article:
- File:SW Sega Saturn cover.jpg has a small file size and comes with a proper non-free use rationale template (filled in) and good licensing information indicating it's cover art. The webpage where the image came from (a Segabits retrospective review of Sakura Wars) had a larger resolution and is still live. Update: It is used only once in the article for the infobox to identify the game (Sakura Wars). It is in only this article because of such good reason. The image does its job easily. «I'm Aya Syameimaru!I文々。新聞I
userbako
» 22:03, 26 April 2020 (UTC) - File:Sakura Wars 1 screenshot A.png and File:Sakura Wars 1 screenshot B.png are sourced from a Hardcore Gaming 101 article about the game (still live). However, the two images are different from each other, because they don't come from the same version of the game, and also because they don't have the same resolution as each other. Screenshot A was taken from Sakura Wars: In Hot Blood, the Dreamcast remake of the original Saturn version of Sakura Wars, which is the source of Screenshot B. They're of reduced size compared to what we see in the HG101 article. Still, like the infobox image, both comply with the non-free image guidelines, having proper non-free use rationale templates and licensing information saying that they're video game screenshots. Update: The first screenshot image is used once in the article for illustrating gameplay, and the same thing applies to the second screenshot. They do well in illustrating the gameplay of Sakura Wars, and for that reason this is the only article to have these two images. «I'm Aya Syameimaru!I文々。新聞I
userbako
» 22:03, 26 April 2020 (UTC) - File:Teikoku Kagekidan Team.jpg is also at a small file size, uses a proper non-free use rationale template (two of them, because the image is also used at List of Sakura Wars characters), and comes with licensing information. It is a Blu-ray menu screenshot like the non-free use rationale template says, but it isn't a screenshot of a television episode. Update: The image is used once here for illustrating how the characters look in the tuxedos, but I feel like the image could be moved to the Casting section (or maybe the last paragraph of the Scenario and characters section), since it talks about characters more. «I'm Aya Syameimaru!I文々。新聞I
userbako
» 22:03, 26 April 2020 (UTC)
I think that's it. «“I'm Aya Syameimaru!”I„文々。新聞“I„userbako
”» 18:45, 19 April 2020 (UTC)
- Simply put it, I found no flaws in the images. I feel like I have an inaccurate assessment here, but even then the article's and its images are in a really good shape. Therefore I give out my vote:
Support Incredible work. «I'm Aya Syameimaru!I文々。新聞Iuserbako
» 21:37, 22 April 2020 (UTC)
- @I'm Aya Syameimaru!: I'd like to ask for a second opinion on the image review, if you don't mind. I've taken a look at the images myself, and they each have a good, descriptive rationale. However, I'd like to see it evaluated for proper compliance of WP:NFCC #3: that minimal use is being properly followed. In particular, the characters image is the one I have the most concern with, and I can't say I feel 100% comfortable evaluating that aspect myself. Red Phoenix talk 15:33, 23 April 2020 (UTC)
- Yes, we should go ahead. «I'm Aya Syameimaru!I文々。新聞I
userbako
» 16:04, 23 April 2020 (UTC)
- Yes, we should go ahead. «I'm Aya Syameimaru!I文々。新聞I
- @I'm Aya Syameimaru!: I'd like to ask for a second opinion on the image review, if you don't mind. I've taken a look at the images myself, and they each have a good, descriptive rationale. However, I'd like to see it evaluated for proper compliance of WP:NFCC #3: that minimal use is being properly followed. In particular, the characters image is the one I have the most concern with, and I can't say I feel 100% comfortable evaluating that aspect myself. Red Phoenix talk 15:33, 23 April 2020 (UTC)
Comments from Red Phoenix talk
[edit]Intriguing - I don't usually see video game articles with this much depth. It's actually pretty exciting and a good read. I'll work on a review for this over the next few days. Usually in these reviews I specialize in sourcing for video game articles, so that will be my main focus, but I'll also look at the prose. When I do sources, I'll do at least a few spot-checks just to be on the safe side. Red Phoenix talk 02:15, 11 April 2020 (UTC)
Sources and spotcheck
[edit]- Zero reliability concerns from my looking over the sources. Ref formatting all looks good too.
- Source 3 is from a gaming website not listed at WP:VG/S, but checks all the right boxes (editing staff and oversight, corporate publisher). Source 4 is a primary source in one of the game's manufacturers. They are both cited faithfully and reliably without close paraphrasing.
- Source 10 is a primary source from an official game tips website. "Motivation", at least in my Google translate, is not mentioned in the source but is cited to it.
- Solved, copied Source 11 to accompany Source 10. «“I'm Aya Syameimaru!”I„文々。新聞“I„
userbako
”» 06:57, 12 April 2020 (UTC)
- Solved, copied Source 11 to accompany Source 10. «“I'm Aya Syameimaru!”I„文々。新聞“I„
- Sources 29 and 30 are both interviews in Japanese. They are used to cite Hiroi and Ito's roles in production of the game, but in neither source can I find a mention of Ito as "general director".
- Solved, replaced "general" with "a". «“I'm Aya Syameimaru!”I„文々。新聞“I„
userbako
”» 06:20, 12 April 2020 (UTC)- I'm Aya Syameimaru! I'm afraid that doesn't quite solve it. I should have been more clear: In neither source can I find a mention of Ito at all. Red Phoenix talk 11:24, 14 April 2020 (UTC)
- Okay. «“I'm Aya Syameimaru!”I„文々。新聞“I„
userbako
”» 11:25, 14 April 2020 (UTC)- I edited article now to make sure Source 28 is at where Sources 29 and 30 used to be. «“I'm Aya Syameimaru!”I„文々。新聞“I„
userbako
”» 11:29, 14 April 2020 (UTC)
- I edited article now to make sure Source 28 is at where Sources 29 and 30 used to be. «“I'm Aya Syameimaru!”I„文々。新聞“I„
- Okay. «“I'm Aya Syameimaru!”I„文々。新聞“I„
- I'm Aya Syameimaru! I'm afraid that doesn't quite solve it. I should have been more clear: In neither source can I find a mention of Ito at all. Red Phoenix talk 11:24, 14 April 2020 (UTC)
- Solved, replaced "general" with "a". «“I'm Aya Syameimaru!”I„文々。新聞“I„
- Source 53 is a Japanese interview with Hiroi. Looks to be cited faithfully without close paraphrasing.
- Source 95 is to a website listed as reliable at VG/S. Faithfully cited, no close paraphrasing.
- Source 100 is a primary source from an official website. Faithfully cited just for dates.
- Source 108 is Siliconera, listed at VG/S. However, the source says nothing about an emulator or a Sega Saturn with a development kit, just a translation patch. Be careful to avoid OR here.
- Solved, removed emulator/development kit text. «“I'm Aya Syameimaru!”I„文々。新聞“I„
userbako
”» 06:20, 12 April 2020 (UTC)
- Solved, removed emulator/development kit text. «“I'm Aya Syameimaru!”I„文々。新聞“I„
- Source 137 is Kotaku, listed at VG/S. Faithfully cited, no close paraphrasing.
Prose
[edit]- Lead: Although the game was only published in Japan, English-speaking players had been able to play Sakura Wars due to an unofficial fan translation released in 2019. Had? Are they no longer able to play?<
- Updated to make more sense. Lord Sjones23 (talk - contributions) 03:48, 11 April 2020 (UTC)
- Synopsis: The Imperial Combat Revue also functions as the Imperial Revue. What does this mean?
- Clarified. Lord Sjones23 (talk - contributions) 03:48, 11 April 2020 (UTC)
- Synopsis: After turning Yoneda's deputy, Ayame Fujieda, into a demon using her suppressed feelings for Ogami, Satan summons a great fortress called the Seima Castle from the sea near Tokyo, intent on releasing the population of Hell to overrun humanity. This runs on a bit, can it be split into two sentences?
- Solved, split into two sentences. «“I'm Aya Syameimaru!”I„文々。新聞“I„
userbako
”» 06:22, 12 April 2020 (UTC)
- Solved, split into two sentences. «“I'm Aya Syameimaru!”I„文々。新聞“I„
- Production - Concept and development: Oji Hiroi created the concept for what would become Sakura Wars in 1990. Wait, didn't we say in the lead that concept work started in 1993? I understand what's meant, but other readers might presume that creating the concept is concept work. Recommend one or the other be reworded - the lead might be the better option.
- Solved, I stuck with the 1990 option. «“I'm Aya Syameimaru!”I„文々。新聞“I„
userbako
”» 06:53, 12 April 2020 (UTC)
- Solved, I stuck with the 1990 option. «“I'm Aya Syameimaru!”I„文々。新聞“I„
- Production - Concept and development: That October, it was given the title Sakura Wars as there were problems trademarking the kanji version of Sakura because it was the native name for cherry blossom. Be careful with verb tense here. I'm presuming it still is the native name for cherry blossom - saying it "was" implies it's not anymore".dzz
- Solved, replaced "was" with "is". «“I'm Aya Syameimaru!”I„文々。新聞“I„
userbako
”» 06:48, 12 April 2020 (UTC)
- Solved, replaced "was" with "is". «“I'm Aya Syameimaru!”I„文々。新聞“I„
- Production - Concept and development: The "LIPS" title was chosen for its sound rather than any special meaning. For what sound? Even I'm not sure. I also wouldn't call it a "title", a name for this interactive system.
- Partially solved, replaced "title" with "name". «“I'm Aya Syameimaru!”I„文々。新聞“I„
userbako
”» 07:01, 12 April 2020 (UTC)- Fully solved, added "distinct". «“I'm Aya Syameimaru!”I„文々。新聞“I„
userbako
”» 08:23, 14 April 2020 (UTC)
- Fully solved, added "distinct". «“I'm Aya Syameimaru!”I„文々。新聞“I„
- Partially solved, replaced "title" with "name". «“I'm Aya Syameimaru!”I„文々。新聞“I„
- Production - Concept and development: Full development of the LIPS system began after running a test. LIPS gameplay was used during a scene where Ogami could choose whether to look inside a shower cubicle. Here you could actually combine these two if that was the test. It feels choppy otherwise.
- Solved, combine the two. «“I'm Aya Syameimaru!”I„文々。新聞“I„
userbako
”» 07:10, 12 April 2020 (UTC)
- Solved, combine the two. «“I'm Aya Syameimaru!”I„文々。新聞“I„
- Production - Concept and development: The battle sequences were inspired by similar scenes found in the Kamen Rider and Ultraman television shows. They were actively referenced during the last battle with the combined final attack of the entire Flower Division. Does "they" mean the battle sequences, or the two shows? Please clarify this ambiguity.
- Solved, reworded "They" to "Their violence". «“I'm Aya Syameimaru!”I„文々。新聞“I„
userbako
”» 07:10, 12 April 2020 (UTC)- Resolved, reworded "Their violence" to "The shows' violence". «“I'm Aya Syameimaru!”I„文々。新聞“I„
userbako
”» 07:17, 12 April 2020 (UTC)- Now I've added "two" before "shows". «“I'm Aya Syameimaru!”I„文々。新聞“I„
userbako
”» 08:02, 12 April 2020 (UTC)
- Now I've added "two" before "shows". «“I'm Aya Syameimaru!”I„文々。新聞“I„
- Resolved, reworded "Their violence" to "The shows' violence". «“I'm Aya Syameimaru!”I„文々。新聞“I„
- Solved, reworded "They" to "Their violence". «“I'm Aya Syameimaru!”I„文々。新聞“I„
- Production - Concept and development: The game's "Motivation" system was a means of incorporating simulation elements without utilizing role-playing elements such as experience points. Two issues here: 1. It "was" a means? The game still exists, so its system does too, right? 2. Up to this point, "Motivation" has not been in quotes. If we're going to use quotation marks, let's use them consistently either in the above sections or remove them throughout the article.
- Solved, I put "Motivation" in quotes. «“I'm Aya Syameimaru!”I„文々。新聞“I„
userbako
”» 06:58, 12 April 2020 (UTC)- Resolved, replaced "was" with "is". «“I'm Aya Syameimaru!”I„文々。新聞“I„
userbako
”» 08:23, 14 April 2020 (UTC)
- Resolved, replaced "was" with "is". «“I'm Aya Syameimaru!”I„文々。新聞“I„
- Solved, I put "Motivation" in quotes. «“I'm Aya Syameimaru!”I„文々。新聞“I„
- Production - Concept and development: According to Tomoyuki Ito, the process of creating "Motivation" and associated systems was based on trial and error, mainly around how best to express it. Who's Tomoyuki Ito? We haven't introduced him yet.
- Solved, I called him a director in the sentence. «“I'm Aya Syameimaru!”I„文々。新聞“I„
userbako
”» 08:23, 14 April 2020 (UTC)
- Solved, I called him a director in the sentence. «“I'm Aya Syameimaru!”I„文々。新聞“I„
- Production - Concept and development: Eager to see the game completed, development was transferred to Sega's CS Research & Development No. 2 division, which would co-develop the game with Red Company. Who was eager? It certainly wasn't Red Company, who the last sentence talked about stopping production. This could be fixed by removing passive voice.
- I removed passive voice. «“I'm Aya Syameimaru!”I„文々。新聞“I„
userbako
”» 08:36, 12 April 2020 (UTC)
- I removed passive voice. «“I'm Aya Syameimaru!”I„文々。新聞“I„
- Production - Concept and development: Sega also commented in an interview that Sakura Wars was their most expensive video game production to date, although no exact budget was given. Who exactly commented? Usually "commented" isn't a word for a statement by a company, and you can't really "interview a company".
- Solved, used "stated". «“I'm Aya Syameimaru!”I„文々。新聞“I„
userbako
”» 08:00, 12 April 2020 (UTC)
- Solved, used "stated". «“I'm Aya Syameimaru!”I„文々。新聞“I„
- Production - Art design: The concept of a diving suit fitted in with the concept for the Koubo being reinforced armor rather than robots. Is "fitted in" correct? I have never heard that particular combination of words for that expression. Also, is it Koubo or Koubu?
- Sjones23 so far has partially solved it by using "Koubu". «“I'm Aya Syameimaru!”I„文々。新聞“I„
userbako
”» 08:00, 12 April 2020 (UTC)- Done, replaced "fitted in with" with "was integrated into". «“I'm Aya Syameimaru!”I„文々。新聞“I„
userbako
”» 08:36, 12 April 2020 (UTC)
- Done, replaced "fitted in with" with "was integrated into". «“I'm Aya Syameimaru!”I„文々。新聞“I„
- Sjones23 so far has partially solved it by using "Koubu". «“I'm Aya Syameimaru!”I„文々。新聞“I„
- Production - Scenario and characters: It was the next step taken by Japan in embracing Western culture and merging it with its own, allowing for political changes and the emancipation of women after a prolonged feudal period. What is the next step? I know it seems obvious but I had to go back and reread it again because I read it the first time as Sakura Wars was some step in changes in Japan. Which is clearly wrong, of course, but it should be simpler the first time.
- Solved. «“I'm Aya Syameimaru!”I„文々。新聞“I„
userbako
”» 08:23, 14 April 2020 (UTC)
- Solved. «“I'm Aya Syameimaru!”I„文々。新聞“I„
- Production - Scenario and characters: When he was first pitched the project, all that had been finalized was that the story would involve young girls and mecha. "Mecha" is sort of a jargon word here. Could it either be linked to an article or reworded to explain it better? It's actually linked further below; moving the link up will fix it.
- Sjones23 provided a link for mecha in the first paragraph of the Production section. «“I'm Aya Syameimaru!”I„文々。新聞“I„
userbako
”» 08:00, 12 April 2020 (UTC)- Solved, I think. «“I'm Aya Syameimaru!”I„文々。新聞“I„
userbako
”» 08:36, 12 April 2020 (UTC)
- Solved, I think. «“I'm Aya Syameimaru!”I„文々。新聞“I„
- Sjones23 provided a link for mecha in the first paragraph of the Production section. «“I'm Aya Syameimaru!”I„文々。新聞“I„
- Production - Scenario and characters: The role of the male protagonist was given initially to a young man named Kusaku Kanuma, a member of the Tokyo Metropolitan Police Department. He inherits a blade forged by the Japanese swordsmith Muramasa and must work with Sakura to pilot a two-person mech. Be mindful of a run-on sentence, but I would actually combine these two. It's odd to start the second sentence with "he inherits" when it wasn't even a character to start and makes me question does this character exist?
- Merged the two sentences. «“I'm Aya Syameimaru!”I„文々。新聞“I„
userbako
”» 08:07, 12 April 2020 (UTC)
- Merged the two sentences. «“I'm Aya Syameimaru!”I„文々。新聞“I„
- Production - Audio - Casting: Hiroi chose Yokoyama, who had appeared in notable anime series, based on his wish to create a compelling final deathblow line. Do we have at least one example of a "notable" anime series she voiced?
- Added example. Lord Sjones23 (talk - contributions) 23:43, 11 April 2020 (UTC)
- Production - Audio - Music: Tanaka was also among the first brought on board for production and was defined as a teacher figure to the rest of the development team. "Defined" is an odd word when there's no implication or statement that someone defined them. Did he serve as a teacher figure? Did someone "define" him?
- Solved, replaced "was defined" with "served". «“I'm Aya Syameimaru!”I„文々。新聞“I„
userbako
”» 08:36, 12 April 2020 (UTC)
- Solved, replaced "was defined" with "served". «“I'm Aya Syameimaru!”I„文々。新聞“I„
- Next couple of sentences after that, we repeat "Sakura Wars" a lot and it's really draining. Can we reword it to freshen up the prose?
- I believe I solved it. «“I'm Aya Syameimaru!”I„文々。新聞“I„
userbako
”» 08:36, 12 April 2020 (UTC)- Okay, now I reworded it to freshen up the prose like you said. «“I'm Aya Syameimaru!”I„文々。新聞“I„
userbako
”» 19:47, 15 April 2020 (UTC)
- Okay, now I reworded it to freshen up the prose like you said. «“I'm Aya Syameimaru!”I„文々。新聞“I„
- I believe I solved it. «“I'm Aya Syameimaru!”I„文々。新聞“I„
- It might be helpful in the nihongo foot template for "Geki! Teikoku Kagekidan" to provide an English translation if you have one.
- I added "Imperial Hana-dan" as the English translation. «“I'm Aya Syameimaru!”I„文々。新聞“I„
userbako
”» 08:23, 14 April 2020 (UTC)
- I added "Imperial Hana-dan" as the English translation. «“I'm Aya Syameimaru!”I„文々。新聞“I„
- Production - Audio - Music: The soundtrack was released by Avex Mode as an album, titled Sakura Wars: In Hot Blood Teigeki Complete Music Collection, shortly after the game's release in February 2003. So there's a different soundtrack for the newer one? It's a bit ambiguous. Needs clarification.
- Resolved. «“I'm Aya Syameimaru!”I„文々。新聞“I„
userbako
”» 08:30, 14 April 2020 (UTC)
- Resolved. «“I'm Aya Syameimaru!”I„文々。新聞“I„
- Release: Because of the greatly increased amount of content—particularly the amount of voice acting Hiroi wanted to include—the release date was pushed forward several months at his insistence, and the game was expanded from a single disc to a two-disc release. "Pushed forward" sounds like it was released sooner, but everything else suggests later. Is it "pushed back"? Would "delayed" be a better word if it is?
- Yes, I used "delayed". «“I'm Aya Syameimaru!”I„文々。新聞“I„
userbako
”» 08:41, 12 April 2020 (UTC)
- Yes, I used "delayed". «“I'm Aya Syameimaru!”I„文々。新聞“I„
- In the next paragraph, link the word "port" to the article on porting and link "its sequel" to the correct article.
- Did it. «“I'm Aya Syameimaru!”I„文々。新聞“I„
userbako
”» 08:41, 12 April 2020 (UTC)
- Did it. «“I'm Aya Syameimaru!”I„文々。新聞“I„
- Release - PlayStation 2 remake: The remake originated as part of Sega's efforts to reintroduce the wider world to the Sakura Wars series. As the versions of Sakura Wars up to this point seemed old and awkward compared to its sequels, it was decided to remake Sakura Wars. Again, a lot of repetition to this point. Can it be simplified so the prose isn't so draining?
- Yes. Now I did the task for you. «“I'm Aya Syameimaru!”I„文々。新聞“I„
userbako
”» 08:42, 14 April 2020 (UTC)- Yes. Now I truly did the task for you. Could it be done? «“I'm Aya Syameimaru!”I„文々。新聞“I„
userbako
”» 19:56, 15 April 2020 (UTC)
- Yes. Now I truly did the task for you. Could it be done? «“I'm Aya Syameimaru!”I„文々。新聞“I„
- Yes. Now I did the task for you. «“I'm Aya Syameimaru!”I„文々。新聞“I„
- Next sentence: New CGI segments were created, and the anime sequences redone by studio Production I.G. Either remove the comma or add another "were", otherwise it reads funny.
- Solved, removed comma. «“I'm Aya Syameimaru!”I„文々。新聞“I„
userbako
”» 08:01, 12 April 2020 (UTC)
- Solved, removed comma. «“I'm Aya Syameimaru!”I„文々。新聞“I„
- Release - PlayStaton 2 remake: Hiroi enjoyed her work, so featured quotes from her poems as subtitles for Sakura Wars titles several times after the first game's release. Who featured quotes? Feels like the second phrase is missing a subject.
- Hiroi, he featured quotes. «“I'm Aya Syameimaru!”I„文々。新聞“I„
userbako
”» 08:42, 14 April 2020 (UTC)
- Hiroi, he featured quotes. «“I'm Aya Syameimaru!”I„文々。新聞“I„
- Reception: One contemporary review was in 2000 with GameFan, which covered import games, and rated the Dreamcast port of game highly. Port of game?
- Corrected. Lord Sjones23 (talk - contributions) 09:25, 12 April 2020 (UTC)
- Legacy: Sakura Wars and its first sequel were both ranked among the ten most memorable games for the Saturn, while the Dreamcast port of Sakura Wars was also ranked among the most memorable for that platform. Make it clear who ranked them.
- Famitsu. All finished! «“I'm Aya Syameimaru!”I„文々。新聞“I„
userbako
”» 08:42, 14 April 2020 (UTC)
- Famitsu. All finished! «“I'm Aya Syameimaru!”I„文々。新聞“I„
So far I have made it through Production - Concept and development in both sources and prose. This took me an hour just to get through this far, so I'll be taking a break. I've already given you a fair bit to look at so far. Red Phoenix talk 03:37, 11 April 2020 (UTC)
@Sjones23: That should be a wrap from me. A fair bit to work on, and check those source spot-checks carefully. Feel free to let me know if you have any comments or when you're ready for me to review your changes. Red Phoenix talk 13:03, 11 April 2020 (UTC)
- All your comments are now resolved, it's all appreciated. «I'm Aya Syameimaru!I文々。新聞I
userbako
» 21:40, 22 April 2020 (UTC)- @I'm Aya Syameimaru!: Please don't change my section headers. That's considered a bit rude; what if I came back with more comments? I also haven't evaluated it yet, so I haven't said it's resolved. I have changed it back for the time being. Red Phoenix talk 15:35, 23 April 2020 (UTC)
Support pending a new image review - While I haven't appreciated some of the ways this FAC has been handled, I can at least appreciate the passion given to this article. That is reflected in the prose and the work to get this right. I still have some minor concerns given the couple of errors I found in my source spot-checks, but I trust that these were small oversights and that the rest of the material is faithfully cited to the source. I still need to see a new image review before I can fully support. Red Phoenix talk 16:13, 23 April 2020 (UTC)
Oppose by David Fuchs
[edit]Placeholder. Reviewing tonight and will have first batch of comments tomorrow. Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs talk 21:26, 22 April 2020 (UTC)
Japanese stage shows inspired Hiroi, who conceived the game's basic narrative and gameplay elements.—the second part of this sentence seems either redundant or disconnected from relevancy, since we've already been told that he created the concept; this also feels out of place because the previous and following sentences are about the game's actual production.Sakura Wars 1 screenshot A.png&B.png—I would right-justify this given that at even relatively small desktop screen sizes it creates a huge gulf of whitespace.- You might want to explain what eyecatch is if you don't use "bumper". It's not a common term I imagine in most English countries.
skillful performances during LIPS segments raise a character's "Motivation", This is a bit redundant with the previous paragraph which already explained how you raise motivation, so maybe just explain that "Raised motivation during LIPS segments grant statistic increases..." etc or similar.keep a powerful demonic hoard—I think you mean wikt:horde?I think either the gameplay or plot section could use a little more detail in terms of stuff that comes up later in the development section—the fact that there are animated sequences that aren't gameplay, or that there are song numbers, feels like it should be mentionedThe role of Iris was originally given to Yokoyama, with Nishihara being considered for the role of Sakura. Redundant with earlier prose.- Given that this was a Japanese-language-only game, I think the reception section (using only 1 contemporary Japanese review) is just not enough for Featured Article criteria.
Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs talk 14:28, 24 April 2020 (UTC)
- User:I'm Aya Syameimaru!, I'm not sure if this is your first FAC, but you don't strike or alter others comments, and you especially don't do it as another reviewer in the FAC; it's up to the reviewer to make the determination if points have been addressed. I simply don't think obscure video games have "their own standards"; I'm sure the sources in mainstream Japanese sources exist if it was legitimate enough for Famitsu to cover it. At this point, I'm going to oppose on comprehensiveness concerns. Der Wohltemperierte Fuchs talk 17:36, 25 April 2020 (UTC)
@David Fuchs: I don't really have a dog in this fight and I'm still unsure that it would be enough reviews, but I found two more contemporary Japanese reviews and added them to the article. Wondered if this might be of help since we're coming to the close of this FAC and I know how frustrating it is to have one archived. Red Phoenix talk 19:47, 26 April 2020 (UTC)
@David Fuchs: Most, if not all, of the above concerns have been resolved. I will work on revising the reception section in a few days or so. Lord Sjones23 (talk - contributions) 23:53, 30 April 2020 (UTC)
Oppose by Namcokid47
[edit]I'm really not too pleased with the reception of this article. For such a massive game with a lengthy development and history behind it, I'm rather surprised to see that there's not many reviews for it. I know it's a Japan-exclusive game, but surely there's gotta be more than that. I also don't understand why the review scores are listed in the writing, nor do I get why there are multiple reviews for the same version of the game by the same publication. The writing also needs improvement, as it comes off as just a jumbled mess of random comments and praises by reviewers instead of having them strung together. Considering the reception is a massively-important part of a video game article, I'm opposing this nomination. I'm also opposing because of the fact that Aya Syameimaru is striking and changing other's comments. Like David Fuchs said, it's very inappropriate, especially for somebody that is not even the nominator of the article. Namcokid47 (Contribs) 16:20, 28 April 2020 (UTC)
- I apologize for striking and changing other's comments, I was immature when I did it. «I'm Aya Syameimaru!I文々。新聞I
userbako
» 17:23, 28 April 2020 (UTC) - @Namcokid47: So, I could try reformatting the reception section and group some of the comments regarding gameplay, visuals and plot into separate paragraphs, using the reception section of the Trials of Mana article (an FA) as one of the main models. Lord Sjones23 (talk - contributions) 20:15, 30 April 2020 (UTC)
Coord comment
[edit]- I can't tell what's been struck by the commentator and what's been struck by others. Don't just apologize @I'm Aya Syameimaru!: ... fix the problem, please, and then may I suggest you leave this FAC to the nominator? I'd really hate to archive this nomination through no fault of the nominator, but it's becoming a mess. Can the two opposers (@David Fuchs and Namcokid47:) tell me if they are standing by their opposes? --Ealdgyth (talk) 17:05, 30 April 2020 (UTC)
- I can vouch that I struck none of mine and they were all stricken by I'm Aya Syameimaru!. I'm reasonably sure that I'm Aya Syameimaru! struck all of them on the page, from the look of the edit history. Red Phoenix talk 17:20, 30 April 2020 (UTC)
- I still stand by my opposition. The Reception is such an important and integral part of a video game article, so for an FAC to have one in unsatisfactory shape is not acceptable. It needs to be fixed, and until my issues have been addressed I will oppose this nomination. Namcokid47 (Contribs) 17:32, 30 April 2020 (UTC)
- I'm trying to de-strike the comments, and such process is supposed to work. «I'm Aya Syameimaru!I文々。新聞I
userbako
» 17:53, 30 April 2020 (UTC)- Now I'm removing my comments, I was thinking that my comments are confused with the other people comments. In other words, I altered their comments, so now I'm de-altering them. «I'm Aya Syameimaru!I文々。新聞I
userbako
» 17:55, 30 April 2020 (UTC)- Now I've struck and altered my own comments. «I'm Aya Syameimaru!I文々。新聞I
userbako
» 18:27, 30 April 2020 (UTC)- I've exhausted myself at this point, so I'm moving out of this FAC. I hope you do your best. «I'm Aya Syameimaru!I文々。新聞I
userbako
» 19:24, 30 April 2020 (UTC)- @I'm Aya Syameimaru!: Thanks for your participation. I'll try and take care of the rest. Best wishes, Lord Sjones23 (talk - contributions) 22:09, 30 April 2020 (UTC)
- You're welcome. «I'm Aya Syameimaru!I文々。新聞I
userbako
» 23:26, 30 April 2020 (UTC)
- You're welcome. «I'm Aya Syameimaru!I文々。新聞I
- @I'm Aya Syameimaru!: Thanks for your participation. I'll try and take care of the rest. Best wishes, Lord Sjones23 (talk - contributions) 22:09, 30 April 2020 (UTC)
- I've exhausted myself at this point, so I'm moving out of this FAC. I hope you do your best. «I'm Aya Syameimaru!I文々。新聞I
- Now I've struck and altered my own comments. «I'm Aya Syameimaru!I文々。新聞I
- Now I'm removing my comments, I was thinking that my comments are confused with the other people comments. In other words, I altered their comments, so now I'm de-altering them. «I'm Aya Syameimaru!I文々。新聞I
Comments by Alexandra
[edit]- (reviewing)--AlexandraIDV 04:12, 4 May 2020 (UTC)
- Closing note: This candidate has been archived, but there may be a delay in bot processing of the close. Please see WP:FAC/ar, and leave the {{featured article candidates}} template in place on the talk page until the bot goes through. Ian Rose (talk) 08:56, 6 May 2020 (UTC)
- The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.