User talk:Summer.owen/Ethnocentrism

Peer Review

Hi Claire! Thank you for sharing your draft with me! You definitely put work into your edits and I commend you for that. I know it must not be easy editing an article that is almost all plagiarized so good job! It is clear you did your research on what source it came from and what needed to be removed.

On the tone of your edits, good job staying neutral and leaving out any bias. The sentences/paragraphs you added flow nicely with the rest of the article. Your sections on film and social media are nicely done and you did a good job paraphrasing and adding your references. Are you planning to expand on these sections anymore? Also, you deleted a lot of stuff, are planning to try and add any of that back correctly this time?

One thing I would suggest is finding more sources and continuing to expand on the sections you have already written or possibly creating new ones. Once again, a lot has been deleted so I just feel that maybe the article will be a little bare now, you know? Either way, you're making really good progress! Good job! Redbluegreen12 (talk) 23:21, 12 September 2024 (UTC)

Peer Review

Hello Claire, thank your sharing your sandbox draft with me! While reading through your plans for revision, I noted how much you intend to change and I believe, from reading your current edits and counting your sources, that you are perfectly capable of completing this task. More than half of your sources are journals and from reputable sites such as institutions, which says that any information that you add into your article will have evidence to back it. You have crossed through large portions of text from the original article and I am wondering if you are planning to reword or delete the whole thing? I read the text you crossed out and agree with what you wrote in your outline under your bibliography sandbox about the readability of the text. That part was difficult to read or understand, not to mention it does not appear to be a necessary inclusion. One thing I appreciated about your sandbox was how you clearly and explicitly show what you are changing from the original article and what will replace it. Another thing I noted was how your edits sound like a Wikipedia article's text, I feel you incorporated the training's modules into your work in that you copied the style/voice of a wikipedia page. I think you have completed this assignment beautifully and if this was not a required assignment, I would assume you have a strong desire to better Wikipedia's pages and have a deeper connection to the topic with the amount of thought and attention you have given it.

Critiques: My only critique, minor suggestion really, would be to ensure you want to dedicate yourself to this article because of how much you intend to erase. With so much taken, your article desperately needs to be worked on and improved, so it'll require more work than maybe a different article with less needs. However, you have many sources. and from your sandbox, I have the idea that you are just the person for the job and I am looking forward to your completed revision!@Summer.owen Zebraflower (talk) 03:31, 14 September 2024 (UTC)