User talk:SosaGodfrey/Personal Sandbox

Comments

It was a really good and informative article. The only suggestion I would make is that there are a lot of different sections and I didn't notice a lead. If a few sections could be combined that would make it seem a little less choppy. I learned a lot and enjoyed reading it! Kelsey1108 (talk) 23:13, 25 November 2011 (UTC)[reply]

I agree with Kelsey - this was very straightforward and informative. The only thing I would recommend is adding more in-text citations (not MLA style, but I'm not sure where you got what information since the sources are at the bottom without attribution to the facts). Smashleynguyen (talk) 15:09, 28 November 2011 (UTC)[reply]

JimKirn888 (talk) 21:08, 28 November 2011 (UTC)Very straightforward and factual. The article could be a little more compact. combining some of the sections would help consolidate the information. And I would also check some of the grammar and sentence structure.[reply]