User talk:Sanjanamahtani

This user is a student editor in George_Washington_University/AmWriting_Fall_2018_M_84_(Fall_2018) .

16 PF. Can you hyperons this? Jevilla001 (talk) 16:56, 28 November 2018 (UTC) In contrast, the Medieval European's sense of selfwas linked to a network of social roles: "the household, the kinship network, the guild, the corporation – these were the building blocks of personhood", Stephen Greenblatt observes, in recounting the recovery (1417) and career of Lucretius' poem De rerum natura: "at the core of the poem lay key principles of a modern understanding of the world." this is a very long sentence maybe cut it into two? Also (SELF WAS) needs to have a space? Jevilla001 (talk) 16:59, 28 November 2018 (UTC)[reply]

levels and spheres... Can you elaborate here? very vague Jevilla001 (talk) 17:01, 28 November 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Welcome!

Hello, Sanjanamahtani, and welcome to Wikipedia! My name is Shalor and I work with the Wiki Education Foundation; I help support students who are editing as part of a class assignment.

I hope you enjoy editing here. If you haven't already done so, please check out the student training library, which introduces you to editing and Wikipedia's core principles. You may also want to check out the Teahouse, a community of Wikipedia editors dedicated to helping new users. Below are some resources to help you get started editing.

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If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me on my talk page. Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 18:20, 30 November 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Notes

Here are my notes:

Try to avoid using words like 'however', as they can come across as you posing an argument to the reader instead of just summarizing the sources, even if this wasn't your intent.
This needs more sourcing to back up claims, as some are unsourced.
This sentence is too much of a run on and needs to be broken up into 2-3 sentences:

In contrast, the Medieval European's sense of self was linked to a network of social roles: "the household, the kinship network, the guild, the corporation – these were the building blocks of personhood", Stephen Greenblatt observes, in recounting the recovery (1417) and career of Lucretius' poem De rerum natura: "at the core of the poem lay key principles of a modern understanding of the world."

Since this does delve a little into the realm of health and medicine, or at the very least brushes up against it heavily, I would like you to take this training module on editing health and medicine topics, just as a bit of a safety precaution.

On a side note, the sourcing you have looks very good and I'm glad that you avoided studies (the reasons why studies aren't always great sources is in the training module I liked above). I'm a little puzzled over the use of this source, as it looks like it covers Robert McDowall, a Presbyterian missionary, as opposed to personality measuring tests. Maybe this was used in error? Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 15:37, 3 December 2018 (UTC)[reply]