User talk:Ravens NN
| This user is a student editor in Carleton_University/Analyzing_Cinema,_Gender,_and_Sexuality_(Fall_2018) . |
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[edit]Hello, Ravens NN, and welcome to Wikipedia! My name is Shalor and I work with the Wiki Education Foundation; I help support students who are editing as part of a class assignment.
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If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me on my talk page. Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 15:35, 10 September 2018 (UTC)
Ateyyat El Abnoudy
[edit]Major Revisions Needed
- Good and succinct lead section.
- Change "conceived" to "born"
- Use the filmmaker's last name when referring to them throughout the article, not their first name
- Correct "treater" to "theatre"
- Restructure the Early Life and Education section as a more cohesive paragraph
- Review the final few sentences of the Early Life and Education section to correct informal language and problematic syntax
- Films should be italicized with the date in brackets next to the title. For example: Hosan al-tin/ Horse of Mud (1971)
- This article currently only uses one source and will need at least two more reliable sources for this assignment
- More will need to be added to this article to reach the 500 word count required
TA3301 (talk) 15:44, 15 October 2018 (UTC)
Speedy deletion nomination of Film In Egypt
[edit]
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Hello, and welcome to Wikipedia. This is a notice that the page you created, Film In Egypt, was tagged as a test page under section G2 of the criteria for speedy deletion and has been or soon may be deleted. Please use the sandbox for any other tests you want to do. Take a look at the welcome page if you would like to learn more about contributing to our encyclopedia.
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Moved user page
[edit]Please be careful when testing out the page move function. It's OK to do the first steps, just don't complete the process if you're testing moving a page live. A good option, if you want to test moving pages fully, is to move pages from one area of your userspace to another. So for instance, you can move your sandbox from "User:Ravens NN/sandbox" to "User:Ravens NN/Ateyyat El Abnoudy".
On a side note, your draft needs to be edited for neutrality - some parts take a very positive, even praising tone towards her. Avoid terms like "thrives", as these are seen as marketing buzzwords, used to make a profile more exciting and appealing to read. Because of this, words like this are seen as being a little inherently promotional, even if you didn't mean for this to come across this way. Also avoid wording like "well-known", as this is kind of subjective to the reader. For example, the director may be well known to one group of people but not to another, so her being well-known would be subjective. I'd instead phrase the sentence like this:
- Ateyyat El Abnoudy (born October 26, 1939), also known as Ateyyat Awad Mahmoud Khali, is an Egyptian filmmaker, film director and book writer.
I would also continue to look for more sourcing to back up claims in the article. Other than that, this looks good so far. Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 13:55, 19 October 2018 (UTC)
Ravens Peer Review
[edit]This page has a good lead section. Introduces the film director well. The section that discusses her accomplishments could have went in an early life section with a little more about the filmmaker. This was easy to understand. Had neutral content, the language used was neutral when discussing the films the filmmaker directed. The sources used were reliable. Over all easy to understand.